I'm already having a breakdown. People are telling me I'm unorganized (when it's only been 2 weeks and I have the church and the hall booked, as well as my dress bought) One person telling me that having people to the hall after the wedding and dinner is tacky. Why? Is it? I'm only having family and very close friends to the family and dinner. What's wrong with that? It's amounting to 80 people at that. I don't want big centrepieces, moh thinks I should. Just changed the date of the wedding this morning as well cause the hall was only avail this one day, got the church's ok as well. So it's been a stressful day, quite emotional. Am I wrong for wanting kind words and not a lot of negative opinions when its been such a short time and I'm a first timer doing the best I can. The wedding isn't until September of next year even. I'm just gonna cry the next time someone says something negative to me! So don't do it, lol. What do you think?
2006-10-10 16:42:44 · 16 answers · asked by Kass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, this is NOT the wedding of all your friends and family. This is the wedding of YOU and your bethrothed. You have so much time in between now and next September, sit down with your boyfriend, decide between the two of you what you want, and to heck with what everyone else says. Most people make wedding suggestions because they wanted that at their wedding and didnt' get it. Make this day for YOU and HIM, not for them. Explain to your friends and etc. that this is what you want, and you aren't gonna stress about it. Do what YOU want, this is your day. My husband and I were married in my mom's backyard, and after all the negative feedback from most of my friends, they were all glad we handled things the way we wanted to.
2006-10-10 16:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax!! It's so stressful to plan a wedding. I can remember being on the brink of a nervous breakdown when I was planning mine! Just remind everyone that it's your day and you want to enjoy it! And rightly so! And to help with the sleepless nights and dreams of forgotten rings and wilted flowers, make a wedding planning cut off. For instance, agree not to plan or even talk about the wedding after a certain time. I think mine was at like 8pm, so I would have 2 hours to just relax before bed. I know it sounds crazy but I really had to do this so I could sleep and not be up all night thinking! And please don't give in, you will not forgive yourself! I did everything exatly how I wanted it and wouldn't have changed a thing! It's such a big day! I hope you enjoy it!
2006-10-10 23:57:55 · answer #2 · answered by cj2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the people in your life are negative by nature and that is the reason the only thing they can do is criticize. However, if they are close enough to give you criticism then these are the people most likely to give you presents so it's best not to alienate them. If you haven't already write down a list of everything that needs to be done between now and your wedding and the next time someone criticizes you on being unprepared show them your list and everything that you have already done. Also, when they criticize smile and ask them, "Can you give me some advice to rectify this situation?" This way they feel helpful which is what they probably really want.
2006-10-11 06:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by BarbKor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To start, congratulations on your engagement!
Planning a wedding is, for many brides, one of the most stressful times in their lives. You know it's your special day and it's a day to celebrate, but you also know you'll be inviting friends and family and all you want to do is make everyone happy.
From the other responses, it's clear that you CAN'T make everyone happy. This is an impossible dream--pleasing everyone. But you can make yourself and future hubby happy, so just go with what is possible.
Let those nay-sayers and unwanted advice-givers say their thing (cuz you know they will!) but try your best to let it in one ear and out the other. Then when they're finished with their input, say "Thank you, I'll think about it" and move on.
You will be stressed all the way up to your wedding day, but believe me, the day after you're Mr. & Mrs., you'll wonder why you stressed so much over it in the first place. Happy planning!
2006-10-11 02:58:18 · answer #4 · answered by caliorchid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, slow down, don't stress. You still have about 11 months, that is a lot of time to plan. I on the other hand am the opposite of you, I have less than 3 months and still no dress, no tux, etc.... There are going to be endless amounts of negotiation and most likely plenty of tears on your part. You just need to remember the reason for the day, the joining of you and your fiance's lives. Take a long bubble bath listen to some soft music and relax. If you have internet access go to www.theknot.com they have a great budget calculator, wedding checklist, guest list tools, and many other helpful tools. Check it out. Good Luck!
2006-10-11 10:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Hug* I am having the same issues. My wedding isn't until June of 2008, and people are already trying to run the show for me!
I have tried both talking rationally and angrily at the main perpetrators or a safe substitute (that is, my poor fiance, haha). All you can really do is tell them that you appreciate the help, but you want things done in a simple, sweet way and if you have any questions, you will go to them for help.
A good book, from one first timer to another, is Wedding Planning for Dummies. It makes things MUCH simpler!
Good luck!
2006-10-11 00:15:39 · answer #6 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One word Relax.. You are doing fine if you want people just for the reception and not the dinner that is not tacky, that's your choice. That is the way it was done some years back, only certain ones were invited to the dinner and the others received a reception card with the time to arrive and the ones to dinner receive a return dinner card.
2006-10-12 14:52:47 · answer #7 · answered by roeskats 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay----this is YOUR day. What u and your mate want. Kindly inform these people that when they get married they can do what they want when they want it. We had a small wedding and a dinner to follow, then everybody we knew came to party with us after. nobody thought it was tacky at all. (this was in July, so its not out dated) We even made it BYOB! We put out a lunch at about 9:00 PM (sandwiches) and went all night. Take it in stride. Don't be bridezilla, and don't let it get you down. It will be the best day of your whole life (so far)
2006-10-11 01:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your day! You need to have what will make you and your fiance happy!
After the cake has been eatend, the last dance danced, the last song sang, all you have is each other and little details about your wedding should not matter compared to the long life ahead of you as husband and wife. Do what you want and enjoy the moment!
2006-10-11 01:56:36 · answer #9 · answered by m_harvery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Boy can I relate to this one! My son just got married and my wife and I did ALL the planing for them. His now wife...a Lovely girl I may add *S* was in nursing school so she couldn't really help much....and her folks....well lets just say they put up as many road blocks as they could. This wont be good enough....this should be this way ect. Anyways to make a long story short...I finally had enough...I ask my sons wife what she wanted and if what we had planned was okay with HER...Not anyone else she said yes its perfect. Next time someone started in on us I told them This THERE DAY....not YOURS....not mine...there day....This is what she wants....this is what she is going to get! So....help or get out of my face. It worked lol
Anyway they had a great day....what I am trying to get at here is DON'T let someone else run YOUR show....be polite but firm.
And by the way.....it sounds to me like you are doing a GREAT job! *S*
2006-10-11 00:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋