My daughter just remarried this past weekend. She and my 3 yr old granddaughter will be moving out. It is wonderful that my granddaughter will finally have a normal family life with a Mom and a Dad. I am very, very happy for all of them.
My problem is my granddaughter has lived with me since birth and I have practially raised her. How do I let go
and move on without this little girl. My heart is breaking. I realize my feelings are all about me and I hate myself for that, but I am going to miss her so very much.
My daughter had been in and out of our lives for several years, prior to the birth of her daughter. So I am used to her coming and going, but not by granddaugher. Please tell how to cope with my feelings of not having my granddaughter with me 24/7.
2006-10-10 16:20:44 · 9 answers · asked by BlueAngel 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dear Woman,
Bonding with a child is something that women have been doing forever. That you love and are bonded with this three year old is natural and that you've taken the reins temporarily from your daughter is admirable. You don't say how old you are or how old your daughter is. That she's been 'in and out' of your lives shows that she's the type who may be into taking advantage of her mother and you allowed that.
I dont' think you need to 'move on' at all. I think you should keep a hand in and unless the new family is moving far away, visitation and supporting the child as a grandmother should be welcome.
If your daughter has become a responsible person and a responsible parent, applaud her and do your best to wean your attentions away from the little girl and back to fulfilling yourself.
You don't say if your daughter's father is in the picture or not. If he's around, dote on him. If you are not with him, maybe finding a new man to share life with would be fun.
good luck
2006-10-10 16:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by vertically challenged 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on a few things 1 how is your relationship with your daughter? Does she want you involved with the child still? HOw far away are they moving. If your daughter still wants you to be involved then you finally get to be grandma. Go pick her up from daycare in the evening for an huor take her and spend one on one time with her while the newly weds have time alone as well, set aside time on the weekends for her to come stay at grandmas I know I always loved spending the night with mine and my kids do as well. You finally get to do the spoiling and then send her home and not have to worry about how hyper she will be from to much sugar or eating ice cream for breakfast now you can do all of that and have fun. It will be an adjustment but you are still her grandma and now you can also do more things you enjoyed before hand. Think positive. The child won't forget you and now you will be the good guy!
2006-10-10 16:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be open to having grandaughter at anytime and tell your daughter. See if you can set up weekend granny and grandaughter visits...Your daughter may be open to this. Just say it in a nice way, not demanding...Ya know you catch more flies with sugar than vinagar LOL My Mother raised a few of my neices and nephews, she has three with her right now along with my sister of coarse and she will be getting married and moving... We have been weening our mom, she just left here after staying a week and half and then another sibling will take her, this way when my sis leaves it will be easier on my mom...
2006-10-10 17:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep in touch with her after she moves out become pen pals or have a set time where you talk to her on the phone, web cams are helpful too. If they are not moving very far away you could even have sleepovers, I loved this when I was younger. Hang in there and remember she will miss you too.
2006-10-10 16:26:09 · answer #4 · answered by sevsnape07 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a tough one. I am sure you feel like her mother, you are so close to her. Is she in a good environment? Hopefully yes. It is hard and you have to step back and be brave. Hopefully you will get frequent quality Grandmother time. Let them move on and be quietly in the background as much as possible. It will be hard, yo may need to keep busy, find new interests so u do not dwell too much!!!
2006-10-10 16:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are losing a child so i see why your sad i hope there are plenty of chances for you to babysit coming up but think of the the impact you have on that child you will have a special spot there and think of ways now that you are free to do some stuff you like you deserve it
2006-10-11 00:52:54 · answer #6 · answered by terri e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can volunteer at a children's hospital or a children's shelter. Or become a Big Sister to a small child.
2006-10-10 16:23:21 · answer #7 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear that.
i am sure letting go is hard to do, but so happy that you have such a generous heart.
how about finding new hobbies?
2006-10-10 16:23:06 · answer #8 · answered by ash 7 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my advice is time, im pretty sure our g d will be back for visits , goodluck
2006-10-10 16:25:43 · answer #9 · answered by sonny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋