I found the love of my life and then I lost him. I feel like a part of me is missing without him in my life. I feel like he will always have a place in my heart, because he was the first man I ever loved. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I don't want to forget about him, but I also want to move on with my life. He has moved on with his life and I should do the same. I want him to be happy he deserves that. I wonder if you ever really get over your first love completly? I've tryed dating other people, but nothing ever really works out the way I want it too. I feel like I had one chance at true love and happiness with him and I blew it. I don't know if I will ever find it again. How do I move on with my life and find happiness within myself?
2006-10-10 16:11:13 · 17 answers · asked by Apy S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Forgive yourself. You say that you "blew it" and may never find it again. Forgive yourself and then you can start to heal. We are all meant for someone. Someone who fits us for who we are, not who we are "trying" to be. When relationships end it is to free us to meet our final destiny. The people we love on our journey there are preparing our hearts to appreciate and value the person who is our final true love. You have learned areas you would like to grow in...so grow. Be thankful for this partner who helped you learn these things. But gain strength and move forward to use these lessons and insights with another person. I know it sounds cliche, but if you are truly connected in a way that would lead to a lifetime of happily ever after, your souls will find each other again. If they do not, misery would have met you if you forced the road.
2006-10-10 16:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by Sleepless in Seattle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well im very sorry now its true i havent found true love so you dont have to take my advice. I cant tell you that you will never find a new love or you will because i dont know. But what i do know is that a guy that you love can make you more happy but you are the only person that can make you truly happy. So just think about what makes you happy like family or a real close friend. Because everyone is a really great person inside and no guy should be able to take that away. i wish you all the luck in the world and hope you will find a new love.
2006-10-10 16:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by heres to all the pretty words 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how old you are but on second thought.. that really doesn't matter too much. I am 33 and still remember almost every moment I spent with my "first love". In fact I saw her the other day for the first time in about 10 years and she still took my breath away. I had a pyschology professor tell my once that it takes twice as long to get over a person compared to the time you spent with them.... together 1 year would take 2 years to FULLY heal. Not sure about that. But I DO know you will move on when the time is right. Some awesome guy will come along and sweep you off your feet again. But until he does, keep dating, casually at least, with no expectations. Don't LOOK for a replacement, it will happen in its own time.
2006-10-10 16:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by spedtrap 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time - it's gonna take time. You probably will always have those moments in life where you think back to him but as time goes on those moments will be further and further apart. The best thing you can do now is to throw yourself into other things important to you and things that improve yourself. School or work or friends or volunteering for something you care about. Don't forget to have fun w/ friends and family and don't rush into another relationship too quickly (it's not fair to the new guy when your heart is somewhere else). Just fill your time w/ things that are important to you. The pain will fade. It really just takes time, there is no instant cure. Good Luck.
2006-10-10 16:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by Chargers Chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good, smart step to acknowledge that you want to move on as well, I'm going through the exact same thing.. but I haven't dated, I found that.. with time, and no contact, you'll eventually be able to live your life again, and everything will take it's place back to normal...with time.
I believe that I'll be able to find love again, cause it didn't work out, and I realize that now.. and I blamed myself for it ending, but truth to the matter, it was several factors.
We were engaged, and even to the last month he wanted to get Married, then we broke up, and it didn't take him a month to start seeing other ppl.
You will think of him from time to time.. but eventually.. with time itself you'll be able to let go of the memories, and then be able to completely move on, and be truly happy.
Once you've established that, then thing's will start to fall in place again.
Don't think on the memories, keep thinking ahead rather than stuck in the past.
I kept thinking.. he deserves this, and he deserves that.. but I just got walked all over like a welcome mat.
Don't think about him so much, try to do thing's to get him off your mind.. and then eventually you'll be glad you did =) Goodluck Girl =)
2006-10-10 16:23:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to what you are saying, I can still remember the love of my life and he still has a place in my heart but he will never be in my life again. I dont think you ever completlly get over them but you have no other choice than to move on. time is what you need and i know it will take alot of it but it does get easier as time goes by. true love and happiness doesnt always happen just one time..though at the time you feel it does..if he has moved on with his life then you should to..like i said time will eventuall ease your pain..it cant erase the memorys you have with him or how you feel, but in time it can make new ones. i wish you the very best of luck and happiness in time to come and threw out your life. im here if you need someone to talk to...take care hun...
2006-10-10 16:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by countryrose24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your first love is always the hardest to get over, the hurt is so deep because it brings self doubt.thats why rebound romances occur, the insecure self needs reassurance that it is still attractive and lovable.
Spend time with your girlfriends and take time to reaquaint yourself with you, as relationships ending can really screw with our heads for a while. Don't mope over it, theres someone for everyone is what they say and if you get out there and don't try too hard usually love finds you.Casual dating with guys like with a group or another couple is a better way than to start serious dating again so soon. you will probably always have a special place for your first love, be grateful for what it was and what it brought you while it was happening and don't worry about HIS happiness anymore, your days of concern about him are over, its time to care for you right now. good luck
2006-10-10 16:23:41 · answer #7 · answered by micheleseptember 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me...my first true love and I broke up and we went our separate ways...I married someone else and divorced him 8 years later. A year after my divorce, me and my first true love got back together and married a year and a half later. Your paths may cross again, but in the meantime don't worry about finding love right now...just hang out with the girls and try to recover. It takes time. If you feel overwhelmingly depressed after a month, I would go to the doctor and get some meds that will help you. I had to do that after my divorce. Good luck.
2006-10-10 16:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never, never, nevernevrnever get over your first love. Nor should you. First love is like all the other firsts in your life. It helps you define who you are. It taught you that love although love can hurt, you'd rather have had that wonderful bliss. It teaches you that some things are worth the risk. So move on, lick your wounds and find the one who makes your world spin. and in the meantime, have fun perusing and sampling the menu before you pick an entree!
2006-10-10 16:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by lissaflynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you 100%, but time changes everything! When I met my husband my world changed and the one past true love deminished.
The best thing is to make a big change in your life. Then you can bring the pieces back together to find what you want out of life. then everything will be wonderfull again, and you will be happy.
much love!
2006-10-10 16:16:54 · answer #10 · answered by Uranium_Lopez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋