Ok I am African I am not suppose to date a guy out of my country, but I met this guy I work with, he is very nice to me, he is African American he is in love with me everyone at work know that he is in love with me, and he talks about getting married and having kids together, however my parents don’t like him at all, first of all he is not form the same country, he is not in school he doesn’t even have his GED, he is younger than me by one year, he is form dysfunction family, my parents have a lot of expectation. I like/love him so much I dated him for about a year with out my parents knowing, he doesn’t know that they don’t like him. He met my mother once and I told her he is my friend, but he is also my first love he is the first guy that I had sex with, I didn’t tell him that but he thinks that I wasn’t a virgin before I met him. About 2weeks ago I went to Africa and I met this other guy he lives in the USA but he was visiting, he really like me I start talking to him every night, my bf don’t know that, but my parents really like him, I like him because he is educated and he is much older then me, and he is also African but I don’t love him. The thing is he is coming to the state I am for Christmas my father invited him, I am so scared because my bf also have plans for our first Christmas together, but know this other guy is coming, I love my bf and I wish he had all that I don’t know what I am doing I need help what should I do confuse so much???
2006-10-10 16:02:22 · 7 answers · asked by sweet 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Part of growing up is being mature enough to make your own choices. This is about your life, not your parents. You must make your own decisions. You are young, and dating is meant to be a way of finding out what qualities you are looking for in a lifetime partner. As long as there is no ring on your finger, you don't have to feel guilty about getting to know this other guy. After all, it sounds like he has a few great qualities that your bf is missing. You need to tell your parents about the other bf, and let them know that you are keeping an open mind about both guys at this point. They can't choose your bf's for you, they need to respect your decisions and trust that they did a good job in raising you and that you will make the best choice for you. If you are old enough to have a boyfriend and be in love, then you are old enough to be honest and upfront with your parents.Good luck and take care of you.
2006-10-10 16:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been lying to your parents, lying to your boyfriend, and more importantly, lying to yourself. You are excited that this American boy is interested in you. You gave him your virginity so now you feel even more connected to him. This guy does not even have a GED, what kind of life can he provide for you and your child... yes, your child. Since you are having sex with him, you could get pregnant, then you will have some explaining to do with your parents.
You have to get honest with yourself. This is your life. If you are unsure about your current bf and want to explore other options (the African guy) say so. You are not bound to anyone at this point. You are not married. People create problems for themselves when they treat their bf's like they are married to them.
You know that your parents would not approve of the American because he is uneducated. You probably didn't tell them about him because you knew that you could not convince him that he is worthy of you since he doesn't even have a GED. Yes, he may be a nice guy but what kind of future do you have with him. Is he doing anything positive and productive with his life that will support you and a family?
Take some time to think about what you really want. Only you can determine that for yourself. Do not make a mistake in thinking that you are obligated to anyone because you are not. The only obligation you have it to be true to yourself. Whatever you do, don't sell yourself short to be with a guy. Set your standards high and don't settle for less. If you settle for less, less is what you will get.
2006-10-11 11:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as I hate to say this, first loves usually don't last. And, education is important. Love is important, don't get me wrong. But what do you want out of life:? What does he want? Is it the same? Sorry, but love doesnt pay the bills and it doesn't put food in your stomach.
2006-10-10 23:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by There can only be one - (ANSWER) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh lady ur really screwed up.
ok heres the deal,
does the guy going ur house knows that u hv a bf???
if he does den u know wut he is going after...he is trying to break the both of u up. its up to u whether u wanna accept him or not...
put ur paretns aside 1st. juz look into the mirrior and ask urself, who do u really love?
from there....make a decision. if u choose ur bf, convince ur parents that he is one damn good man.
if not, tell ur bf the truth, that ur seeing this guy and dat ur parents doesnt like him at all.
keep the truth away from him only hurts him more when he finds out
i strongly suggest u talk to them, tell them everything. truth hurts, but it hurts more if u kept it longer.
2006-10-10 23:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by sulaji84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the boyfriend.
Dont settle for the one you can LIVE WITH, settle for the one you cant LIVE WITHOUT.
Good luck hun :)
2006-10-10 23:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go by ur intuition which desire is stronger go that way don't please ur parents u will be living with him so do what is best for u ask god for help pray litle bit it will help
2006-10-10 23:07:01 · answer #6 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry.......eventually you will grow up!!!!
2006-10-10 23:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by justmedrt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋