hi. while growing up, confidence was never really instilled in me and i didn't even think of it myself when i was younger and now i think i might be paying the price for it.
im always concerned with how people think of me and how they look at me and see me as. like for example if i go into a store, i wonder if im smiling too much or if i look serious and mean. (weird i know!) i think im average looking, but im more concerned with how my expressions are. im not confident in my looks at all.
or if a photo is taken of me, i just feel like im not photogenic at all (unless i wear shades), whereas my sisters and friends almost always look good in their pictures.
how can i gain the strength and confidence? thanks!
2006-10-10 15:41:19 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Tomorrow when you wake up, go into the bathroom, and stand in front of the mirror. Then tell your reflection, "I am just as beautiful on the inside as the outside. My heart is
so full of love for life, and God meant for me to be happy starting "today." Write this down after you read it, then read it every morning, and every night before you go to sleep. One day you will realize you believe these words because they are "true." I did this when I felt like you do, and believe me, it truly works. You actually start believing in yourself, and nothing & no body can ever change that or tear you down again. And you'll come to realize also, that the people who "do" try? they are so much worse off than you could ever imagine, so you'll pity them in your heart. I also grew up feeling as you do now, so I know. And just think, after you do this and realize you like yourself? When "you" spot someone who feels the same as you once did, you can tell them what to do to help that problem go away, okay? Good luck & God bless you.
2006-10-10 16:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be what u r long long back.
U r very consious, u may be having a lot of mental barriers, which u have to break, only u can do so.
Give time for prayers. Sit for 10 minutes close ur eyes, and pray God is giving me strength, to uplift my negative ...... (list a few u face) and giving me a positive upliftment.
Do a small thing in a big way, see taht every details is taken care of and nothing is missing. Do a few of these, u will start to gain confidence.
2006-10-10 23:10:09 · answer #2 · answered by Venkatesh V S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to take a step back and look at yourself from a differant point of view. Even though you might not look as good as you wish, its what matters on the inside. Pray to god, tell him to help you through this. As much as i want to help you i feel that praying is the only thing i can tell you. I have problems with that also, more so with my body than my face but it still is a hard thing to get over, and if you put enough hard work and effort into looking beautiful then god will help you feel and look beautiful. i really hope that helped.
2006-10-10 22:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try saying hello to the first 5 strangers you see every day. Some will ignore you, some will say hello back, and some may even be your friend. Once you have more experience with people accepting you for who you are, you'll at least be "just a bit" more confident. For best results, rinse and repeat and who knows who you might meet!
2006-10-10 22:58:25 · answer #4 · answered by fantasticopinionsfree 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was younger I grew up in group homes and got beaten on a regular basisThat was some 30 years ago.Since then I still deal with self esteem issues EVERYDAY but I tell myself that it is only my perception of how I think that peolple perceive me that is making me feel lesser.I also tell myself that in 100 years it wont matter.SO go. for it
GET A JOB SELLING SOMETHING.ANYTHINGEven if it is just part time and even if you hate it.It forves you to come out of yourself and to be the one in control.I took this same advice in my 20s.I took a job as a fine dining waiter in the Banff SPRings Hotel.I had no experience doing this,but to do it I had to be a different person...................good luck
2006-10-10 22:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by Paul I 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hay. your not the only one with this problem. as a guy who had a pimple on the end of his nose in high school, I know about low self-esteem. Some times you have to realize you are unique in this crazy world. there isn't another just like you! this may be good or not but you are the only one. that makes you special. if you belive you're special believe your special. if you smile and don't tell people why, it will drive them crazy. each of us has something to offer. search, find your talent. read the reference book....there is something for everyone. NO one is perfect!
2006-10-10 22:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by oljax90 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jenn, Love,
This is a really hard one for many women, young and old. In many cultures, including many American cultures, women are undervalued. On top of that, even in well-meaning homes girls are brought up to feel somehow as if they need to rely on their looks and/or social graces to do well.
I'm a fairly intelligent woman, and I'm actually very nice looking. I grew up amongst intelligent people and did very well in school. I was even a fairly social person, with an above-average number of friends. Still, I had no self-confidence. I was in awe of my "smarter" brothers and felt inadequate. As my school years waned, even though I was doing well, I became insecure with my own abilities. I chose to wear "odd" clothes and chose not to wear make-up. Although I was comfortable with "me" -- I didn't feel that others were and this added to my lack of confidence.
I am a very expressive person, and my expressions are always changing. Like you, I became quite conscious of this and tried to present better. And, like you, when anyone took my picture they caught me scowling, scolding, or glaring. Or there was that dorky smile. I smiled too much, and I knew it.
Speed ahead...
I'm now 49 and I wish I had always known what I know now.
I am just one of millions of human beings on this planet. While my beliefs include the belief that I was created by God with a purpose, I still needed to really BELIEVE this. Everyone is different! Look at pictures of famous women scientists, and you will find that some of them don't photograph very well, and yet they are amazing women. Check out Virginia Apgar, creator of the Apgar Newborn Scoring System http://www.notablebiographies.com/An-Ba/Apgar-Virginia.html . She is pretty regular looking. This was the nicest picture. Or how about Madame Marie Curie? http://www.spaceandmotion.com/physics-marie-curie-biography.htm . "Due to her gender, she was not allowed admission into any Russian or Polish universities so she worked as a governess for several years." What an amazing woman. Not that photogenic, really.
Lets look at some smiles that make us happy. This one will warm your heart, even though it is closed mouthed and covers his face. http://www.vegalleries.com/pooh/smiles.jpeg These two smiles are worth the world to someone, and they sure made my day. http://carrollcameraclub.org/joan%20puckett%20smiles.jpg http://gallery.cyberday.de/galerie/anton_de_villiers/bilder/z-smiles.jpg An honest smile gets my vote over a pasted on, made for the viewer, Hollywood smile.
Your strength is in your heart. It is in following your dreams and working towards your goals and loving and enjoying those that you meet along the way. Be yourself and love who you be.
Hang out with people you enjoy. Do the things you love to do. Wear the clothes you love to wear. Sing the songs that you love to sing. Feel good about yourself. There is only one person in the entire world who is you. That's you.
Be the best you that you can be, and be confident with the you that you turn out to be. http://www.dphoto.us/forumphotos/data/751/smiles-crayon.jpg
2006-10-10 23:29:23 · answer #7 · answered by home schooling mother 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Bless your heart. Have you tried seeking God? He provides you with strength and confidence. There is no greater beauty than the Light the Lord can provide from within you. It's a reflection of His glory.
2006-10-10 22:47:46 · answer #8 · answered by holly_c3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you think too much of yourself. What I mean is...Why are you always thinking of yourself. Try to think about how others are feeling. Find out what is going on in the lives of others, and try to make them more comfortable, then you will find that you have good self esteem. You will like yourself better.
2006-10-10 22:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by mamadixie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the main reason why ppl have low self esteem is because they're so concerned about what ppl think of them. Theres only one solution, hun, dont worry about what they think. I mean, they're strangers, it's not like they're gonna see you again. Who cares how others see you, as long as your happy with yourself.
2006-10-10 22:49:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋