I need to leave my husband.. not for physical abuse.. but for something just as bad. I am christian, but have not been allowed to go to church.. I have no friends because of him and no family around. People are telling me to go to a church for help.. is that acceptable if I do not belong to one? I want to join one ASAP once I leave him, but I dont want the church to think I am just using them (Which I certainly would not be!!) Please help! I need help fast!! Thanks!
2006-10-10 15:15:10 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He has already committed adultry numerous times.
2006-10-10 15:20:45 · update #1
Also, there is ALOT more going on then just the controlling aspect!!! Alot more that I can not post here...
2006-10-10 15:22:01 · update #2
If it's a "good" church they'll accept you regardles of your past
2006-10-10 15:17:32 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A church probably isn't going to be the best place for you to go. Church is not an escape. From the sound of it you should be looking for a woman's shelter.
Abuse is not always physical. From the sound of it, your husband has some control issues. I agree it is not healthy for you to be so isolated. It is not a good indication of your relationship if you cannot go to your husband for help. Any church will take you in as one of the congregation, but I would caution you against joining a church out of desparation. That is not a healthy way to start a relationship either.
Your family may not be near by, but you might want to talk to them and ask them for some help if you are in this kind of a jam before a church.
2006-10-10 15:22:53 · answer #2 · answered by Just another 2D character online 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no verses in the Bible that say leaving an unsaved spouse is ok, UNLESS that spouse gives you permission to go. But, the good thing is, adultry is a reason laid out in the Bible to leave a marriage. It sounds like you are in a very unhealthy relationship. Gather as many people around you as you can for support, find a church if that is what you want to do, and make a clean break. Don't let fear keep you from making a choice that is right for you. Seek God and ask him for guidance. He'll show you where to go and what to do. God bless.
2006-10-10 15:41:47 · answer #3 · answered by shybusch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say if it was abuse of 'some' type, adultery, or what may be the problem. Start with prayer. You said you need help ASAP to get out, but even a one minute prayer can make a huge difference in what happens between you and your husband.
I would then contact a pastor of a local Christian Bible believing church as soon as you can.
If it is an emergency and you are being attacked physically or sexually, then you may need to call the Police. They will pick you up and take you to a women's abuse shelter where you will be safe, and will help you to find an apartment to get on your feet. You can call a women's abuse hotline in your area right away if you don't want to call the police. They can give you great advice and there is usually one in every city open 24 hrs a day.
I feel so bad that I am on the other end of a computer monitor and don't know how else to help you except to offer you my prayers and advice on who to call in your area. If you were in my city I could place you in contact with someone personally. May God be with you and keep you safe. You are in my prayers.
Help agency for Women:
http://oprf.com/sarahsinn/
2006-10-10 15:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by son-shine 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make sure that you have a Biblical reason for leaving your husband. The fact that he is controlling and interferes with you going to church or having friends isn't really a Biblical reason to leave--be sure you talk to a wise Biblical counselor or pastor before you call it quits on this marriage. I caution you in this because many believing women are buying into ideas and attitudes that come from our culture and not from the Bible--with devistating effects. When we stick to the Bible--even when it's difficult--the rewards are far greater in the end.
Any good, Bible-believing church should accept you no matter what you choose to do. Don't worry about what any one person might think about you asking for help. A church should be the place to get help.
I'm praying for you--that you will have wisdom and discernment to do the right thing. God Bless.
In regards to your added information---that's why I cautioned you to seek wise counsel--we can't really know your situation in this setting. Of course, if he has been unfaithful, the Bible does allow for you to leave. I doubt that you will have much trouble finding acceptance in that situation--too many women have walked in your shoes.
2006-10-10 15:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by happygirl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Trust me, a church -- your church, whichever one you choose -- wants you to use them. They/it is there for YOU -- in good times AND bad.
In addition though, I absolutely agree with the above comment that you should also contact an abuse hotline - perhaps even first. Get some good advice from people who know what they are talking about, who have EXACTLY the kind of information you need.
Your church will be there over the long term to support you, but right now, you need specific advice from people that are directly familiar with your issues.
2006-10-10 15:21:40 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is unfortunate that you have a husband that will not let you follow your beliefs. You have every right to go to church and fellowship with the faithful. The fact that he is isolating you from family or friends mean that he is emotionally abusing you. You can divorce him on the grounds of emotional abuse. You are a free individual in Christ, you have the right to live your life as you please, and his controlling ways are not acceptable. For centuries men have justified controlling and abusing women. This is a sin. Ephesians Chapter 5: 28:
"So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife, loves himself." Divorce is not an easy option, but if he will not allow you your freedom of choice, and is determined to isolate you from the world, you have no choice but to leave. The abuse to you may get worse if you do not take action very soon. I will pray for you. Just trust in Jesus, he is your salvation. You are a free child of God deserving of respect. A good spirit filled church will welcome you with open arms. Well come to the family of God.
2006-10-10 15:36:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the church you are going to is really the church it should be, then they should welcome you with open arms no matter what. if they don't, then I don't think they're doing what Jesus would do (or what Jesus would have them do), and you should try to look for a different church! That's what I would do.
Church is a great way to share your beliefs and to form a support system of people who truly care about you and will help you through this difficult time in your life!!!! I don't think they will think of you as 'using' them, if you are there because you want to be closer to God. At least if you came to my church, I would be happy that you were there!
Best of luck to you!! I will pray for you too.
2006-10-10 15:19:24 · answer #8 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:13-
"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him."
I don't know your reasoning for wanting to leave him. But the bible is pretty clear on the reasons you can and cannot. I seriously advise you to call a pastor or a church and have them help you. If they don't want to help you because you are not a member-shame on them! I am sure they would be glad to help and yes it's acceptable.
If you want I can even give you an email address of a pastor from my church that would be glad to help you via email.
Best of luck honey-God bless you!
email me at donaldsona@sbcglobal.net for more help!
2006-10-10 15:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may go to a church for help, even if you do not belong to that church. The important thing is to seek help now. It doesn't matter if you choose a church or a counseling service. Do it for yourself.
If you have not been "allowed" to go to church, you have given this person permission to control you. No one can stop you from going to church. How would he do that? Would he run after you and tie you up?
I think that the solution is to seek help and place your safety as your highest priority. Please do it now.
2006-10-10 15:19:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know the scriptures. You cannot leave except for adultery and even that is not mandatory.
NO ONE is stopping you from going to church. You need to support of fellow Christians. Don't fight this battle alone. You can find a good church.
I'll be praying for you over this. God is faithful. Never will He leave you. Never will he forsake you.
2006-10-10 15:22:37 · answer #11 · answered by Bad Cosmo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋