So,I'm 45 and she's 27.I'm divorced w/ 2 kids.She has never been married. We have dated for 1.5 years. She wanted to be fully integrated into my life, but I was spooked after my divorce. I didn't string her along.Just wanted to make sure before she met the family, etc. So I am so ready to be with this woman and she then tells me that she loves me, but she needs her space and time with no contact. She wrote me that she appreciates my acknowledgement of her need and that she is pretty strict in her convictions about this. She says she just feels she needs this time. She also wrote and said she wasn't sure she could answer the question about there being a chance for us. We talked last Saturday for 4 hours which was the beginning point of this whole mess. I am trying to stay busy, but this whole thing is torture. I want to honor her wish for no contact during this period, but how long am I supposed to do that. I truly believe in my gut that this is the girl of my future. Help me with this
2006-10-10 15:00:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
next week
2006-10-10 15:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this is a hard one for me. My boyfriend is always wanting space and it's hard to sit around and wait for the call to say OK come see me. It's been what 4 days? That's hard I usually risk a call or leave a message after the 2ND or 3rd day. He will then either tell me he's ready for company or he needs more space. Sounds like you come from different worlds like we do but we are happy. Risk a call and ask if she's ready if not ask for an estimated time. 1 more day, 3 what? you have a right not to sit on pins and needles. I also have kids and been happily divorced, my guy never married has no kids.I think you really should call her and tell her how you feel and find out what's up. Hopefully for you and your kids she'll talk to you and not string you along. Good Luck
2006-10-10 22:09:42 · answer #2 · answered by robbie347 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait at least a few weeks to give her time to think but it really seems like she has had a change of heart. Sometimes you can really love someone but it still isn't enough to take a chance with responsibilities or a long commitment. Your hesitancy may have made her realize her own fears about a future with you. Age may also play a part in her re-thinking the whole thing. If it's truly meant to be, things will work out, if not then it's better to know now.
2006-10-10 22:38:01 · answer #3 · answered by Monkeys baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound like she is not ready,r she might feel like Ur forcing her.she is only 27 she still have a lot of living 2 do,don't call her let her call u and when she do talk 2 her and let her know what u want,and ask her what she want .n if she still say she need time then she is not 4 u.don't set around wanting on her 2 call u,go out meet new people,have some fun cause at 27 she is not setting around thinking bout u, cause if she was then she would have called u.
2006-10-10 23:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by breab360 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like guys always want a woman after she tells him that she doesn't want him anymore and/or needs her space.
Do not contact her until she contacts you. This will mean that she is ready to have you back in her life. It also means that if at that time you want her to be a part of your future, if you propose to her soon thereafter she will most likely say yes.
2006-10-10 22:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by J.Z. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you this, but she has met someone else, and is testing it out. You were smart to test it out b4 meeting your kids. But thats what it means when a girl tells you something like that, I should know I have done it. And I am a girl. Good luck to you.
2006-10-10 22:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by amberzworld101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably feel that this is the girl of your future, but she doesn't feel you are the man of her future. She does NOT need time. If she really enjoyed being with you, then she wouldn't be playing these games.
Dump her. You deserve better.
2006-10-10 22:04:27 · answer #7 · answered by RB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, I don't want to make it any worse than it is, but it sounds like she isn't really wanting to commit to this relationship and is afraid to admit to it. She changed her whole point of view and backed off suddenly, you know what that means. I know you're scared, I would be to, but face facts and be prepared for the worse........sorry.and good luck
2006-10-10 22:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait until she calls u...if a months gone by then it's over...u gotta move on but remember things happen for a reason..u never know she could end up resenting ur kids b/c their not hers and she has to be responsible...think of ur kids b4 nething..they are ur num 1 priority
2006-10-10 22:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by shorty1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, but this is a nice way that both men and women tell someone it's over please don't bother me any more. so to answer your question don't call. i don't understand the writing part but don't do that either. if she wants to get together with you after telling you she needs space and time...she will call you
2006-10-10 22:05:09 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is breaking up with you. She is at a different place in her life. Do not call her. Move on. If she wants you back she will call.
2006-10-10 22:02:12 · answer #11 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋