Unspoken words
Hang like phantoms in the thick silence
That fills the room whenever
I grudgingly share the room with you.
Spoken words
That dare escape your lips
Are hollow, meaningless, and unimportant
To my mind,
Overshadowed by everything you did
Or didn’t do in the years gone by.
Memories from the past,
From when I was kid,
From when you showed love, affection, emotion
Flood my mind with their sweet nothingness
And hinder my speech.
Words filled with hate, anger, and frustration
Spill from my lips uncontrollably.
As your voice raises and your eyes bulge from their sockets,
I stare at an object that isn’t your face
Because your face causes too much pain.
Even as tears sting my eyes,
I look away,
Keeping the stoic face that you always seem to wear.
Unspoken words, spoken words, memories from the past,
Words filled with hate, anger, and frustration
Overpower me
And I walk...
Walk away from you.
From what we didn’t have.
From what we could’ve had.
From what we should’ve had.
Had you not been who you are,
Had I not been who I am...
And I walk away.
In the back of my mind you persist
But never overtaking me
Unlike the few good memories
You gave to me.
2006-10-10 14:13:10 · 14 answers · asked by susannah 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
just a thought...
there's a ton of places you might find a better response, more targeted towards poetry
two i know of are
www.poetry.com and allpoetry.com
both good sites although the first one limits the length of the poem which i always hated
both are free
you might be happier with feedback from other poets... then again maybe not. i'm no judge of your feelings
2006-10-10 14:38:35 · answer #1 · answered by emeraldnoctis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poem is very powerful and full of emotions, and probably written from personal experiences?
I surmise that it is about the author's relationship with someone very close (or used to be close) and dear to him/her. A parent or a sibling perhaps?
Although there is much love in the relationship, there may have been abuse (physically or emotionally) and unresolved issues.
Hopefully, by penning down this poem, there is catharsis and the author is able to move on...... All the best!
2006-10-10 21:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by qilin1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a nice poem. But it clearly shows that you are really hurting.
I know this because I also write poems & whenever I hurt it
comes out in my writing.
Did this person hurt you? "words filled with hate, anger and
frustration" Are you upset with this person? is it a boyfriend?
I think you need to talk to someone & sort these feelings out. I
have done this and I feel so much better.
Good luck...
2006-10-10 21:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
all too often today, words only assume a single dimension... no depth, no emotion, just strings of letters arranged so we comprehend them... most words don't make me feel... your words brought me into the moment and I felt them...
since folks are projecting, I am gonna toss my vote for a relationship with a spouse or significant other who let you down time and time again but you sound like you've reached your saturation level
good to write out pain... emotionally cathartic... they will bubble up and threaten to overwhelm again... and again.... you have a wonderful tool to paddle yourself down this creek... it does get easier
2006-10-10 23:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by dornalune 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a cry
a sigh
a sniffle
I really like your writing. I love the way that this poem cascades down the page -
a cry
a sigh
a sniffle
You use words and shape them very well.
2006-10-10 21:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Eloquent, beautiful and expressive. Your pain is evident. I don't think you need an answer, you already know it. Time Will heal, I've been there. Thank you for sharing this.
2006-10-10 21:26:09 · answer #6 · answered by sandra j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paints the picture vividly-great poem!
2006-10-10 22:09:35 · answer #7 · answered by catzrme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is good. Be careful about writing good stuff like that and then posting in on ther internet so fast, ortherwise someone might take it and say it was thier own.
2006-10-10 21:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by Casey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I Think that your memories are part of you, but the whole person that you are in your creative words. You are transforming your live in art.
2006-10-10 21:29:38 · answer #9 · answered by tvcb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beautiful! I hope it was a release for you to write this. Very strong and shows you are a survivor.
2006-10-10 21:20:48 · answer #10 · answered by sands6270 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋