Why do women?

Question

1.Why do women become smarter during sex?
(Because they are plugged into a genius)

2.Why don't women blink during sex?
(They don't have enough time )

3.Why does it take 1million sperm to fertilize one egg?
(They don't stop to ask for directions)

4.Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
(Because their b***s fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock

5.Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

6.Why did God make men before women?
(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7.How many men does it take to put a toilet seat down?
(Don't know - it's never happened)

8.Why did God put man on earth?
(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart, then you are just an old sour fart! :)

*Sorry ladies....MISTAKE ON NUMBER 1...
****SHOULD HAVE READ***...
Why do men become smarter during sex?
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(2.30am and I should be in bed)

Note to 'slutttt' - not dumped at all - have been married for the last 35 years and very happy :)

Answer 1

MEN
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
-Your last name stays put.
-The garage is all yours.
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be President.
-You can never be pregnant.
-You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
-You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-The world is your urinal.
-You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
-Same work, more pay.
-Wrinkles add character.
-Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
-People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-One mood all the time.
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-You can open all your own jars.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-You almost never have strap problems in public.
-You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-Everything on your face stays its original color.
-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-You only have to shave your face and neck.
-You can play with toys all your life.
-Your belly usually hides your big hips.
-One wallet and one color for all seasons.
-You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
-You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
-You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


No wonder men are happier.

Answer 2

Classic

Answer 3

Is #1 right? Should it be
Why do men become smarter during sex?
(Because they are plugged into a genius)

Answer 4

i think of actually some the recent problems females face is that now they are in simple terms as equivalent, most of the time, earning the companion and childrens money. yet nevertheless are predicted to get dinner and preserve the toddlers, sparkling the domicile. adult men are additionally i spotted are much less probably to artwork and anticipate the spouse to preserve them. adult men are afraid to open the door for us, i assume the two from worry that we are going to yell at them that we can do it ourselves, they don't supply staggering compliments by way of worry that we are going to cost them with sexual harassment. we are fortunate to discover a guy that cares adequate to prefer to be at domicile, and is somewhat previous shaped approximately taking care human beings yet nevertheless helps us to be an equivalent. I additionally think of that females are forced to look a undeniable way, by way of fact of fake merchandising that Hollywood has shown us with the desirable females. while in actuality it is an phantasm that without 50 human beings engaged on her for 5 hours will in no way gain.

Answer 5

You forgot one....

What's the difference between a man and a dog?




A dog stays loyal.

Answer 6

haha thats hillarious

but technically isnt the man 'plugged' into the woman. haha i know what im talking about i just cant describe it. man=plugged into woman=plugged..if that makes sense haha

Answer 7

Why do women have legs?

Well, haven't you seen the mess snails leave behind them.

Answer 8

and a man never has to have his feet in a stirrup, unless riding a horse!

Answer 9

then i must be a sour old fart
ohhhh dam i am an old fart

Answer 10

must say ive just read ur jokes this morning and they have set me up for the day very funny i liked them a lots thanks for making my day a lot better xx