Blasted a few here in the past few days. Yes, i am bored (before you ask), and no, I'm not sick, just trying to see how far the jokes can be pushed. Tks.
2006-10-10 12:45:40 · 28 answers · asked by Jazz 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Just had a look to see what ppl answered, the coyote one, sorry mate but it's a cheap version of the 2 homeless bums and the dead cat, it's on most sick jokes websites. One last thing, for "lucifer", you don't have to be racist, using the word ******, that's completely out of order.
2006-10-10 14:34:12 · update #1
this guys rings his boss and says "i can't come into work today i'm sick" his boss replies "what do you mean your sick " the guy says" i'm sick really sick" the boss now asks " i what way are you sick" the guy answers "i'm in bed with my twelve year old sister".
now thats sick,
2006-10-10 12:57:22 · answer #1 · answered by 株式会THE CITADEL 株式会 4 · 7⤊ 6⤋
Harry solutions the telephone, and it is an Emergency Room physician. The physician says, "Your spouse became in a extreme automobile coincidence, and that i've got undesirable information and good information. The undesirable information is she has lost all use of the two hands and the two legs, and could prefer help eating and going to the bathing room for something of her existence." Harry says, "My God. what's the best information?" The physician says, "i'm kidding. She's lifeless." there became a guy who became suffering to go with what to positioned directly to bypass to a posh dress social gathering... Then he had a vivid thought. while the host responded the door, he got here across the guy status there without shirt and no socks on. "What the hell are you meant to be?" asked the host. "A untimely ejaculation," stated the guy. "I in simple terms got here in my pants!" a guy walks into an elevator and stands next to an exquisite female. After a couple of minutes he turns to her and says, "am i able to scent your *****?" the girl looks at him in disgust and says, "on no account!" "Hmmm," he replies. "It ought to be your ft, then there's a youthful couple interior the cinema. the girl says, "i ought to have a piss, am i able to squeeze previous you?" "Why do not you squat down on the floor and do it" says the boyfriend. "you will ought to disturb a lot of those folk, besides its darkish, no one will see you." "ok" she says. She pulls her drawers down and squats on the floor. The bloke starts off feeling sexy on the thought-approximately her down there, so he reaches down and makes a grab. He feels something long and difficult and says, "Urgh! have you ever replaced your intercourse?" "No" she says "i've got replaced my suggestions... i'm having a **** as a replace."
2016-11-27 20:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by elisias 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach.
He had no arms and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said: "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said: "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said: "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said: "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear:
"Have you ever been f****d?"
The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No"
She smiled and said: "You will be when the tide comes in!"
2006-10-10 13:04:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
You guys asked for it......Nobody will top this one.
Bob and Joe are lost in the desert. They have not eaten in a week. They crawl over a dune, and come upon the carcass of a coyote....crawling with maggots. Bob runs towards the carcass, and is so hungry, that he gobbles down as much as he can, as fast as possible, while Joe just stands there watching. At one point, Bob has eaten so much and so fast, that he throws up all over the carcass. Joe then casually walks over to the carcass, exclaiming: "I knew if I waited long enough, I would get a hot meal out of this"
Top that anyone or just give me the ten points.
2006-10-10 13:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by Louis C 3 · 6⤊ 3⤋
ok here goes....
An Indian walks into a bar carrying a bucket of s**t, a rifle, and a dead cat.
The bartender walks up and asks "What'll it be?"
The Indian answers "Whiskey, straight"
He drinks his whiskey and shoots a hole in the bucket and takes a bite of the dead cat.
He does this several times before the bartender asks him what he's doing.
He answers; "Me be like white man, drink whiskey, shoot the s**t and eat p***y"
One more...
A man walks into a bar and the sign over the bar says:
"If you can make the donkey laugh, you get free drinks all night long."
He walks up to the bartender and asks "What's the sign all about?"
The bartender answers "Well, just like the sign says, if you can make the donkey laugh, you get free drinks all night long."
So the man walks over to the donkey and whispers something in his ear. The donkey busts out laughing!
He gets his free drinks all night long.
The next week he returns to the bar and this time the sign says:
"If you can make the donkey cry, you get free drinks all night long.
The man walks up to the bartender and asks again:
"What's the sign all about?"
The bartender answers "Well, since you've been in here last week that donkey hasn't stopped laughing! If you can make him cry, then you get free drinks all night long."
So the man walks over to the donkey and takes him to a back room. In a few minutes he returns and the donkey is crying his little eyes out.
He gets his free drinks all night long.
Half way through the night the bartender gets curious. He walks over to the man and says "What did you do? Last week you made that donkey laugh and this week you made him cry, how'd you do it?"
The man replied "Well, last week I told him my d**K was bigger than his, this week I proved it."
Enjoy!!
2006-10-10 15:23:38 · answer #5 · answered by None of your F***ing business 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
George W Bush getting re-elected.
2006-10-10 12:46:52 · answer #6 · answered by Mama Felicia 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Firstly i am an asian, just look at my name.
here goes.
Part1)
what do you call an indian who live between 2 houses?
-ALI
Part2)
what do you call an indian who live between 2 houses with a slice of ham on his head?
-Hamed Ali
Part3)
what do you call an indian who live between 2 houses with 2 slices of ham on his head?
-Mohamed Ali
Part4)
what do you call an indian who live between 2 houses with 2 slices of ham on his head and a vibrator up his bum?
-Sheikh Mohamed Ali
Bud dum pum pshhhhhh!!
Hope you don't offend easily.
2006-10-14 05:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by mohsinmalikuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is sumthin my friend IM me!
A pickle, cumcumber, and a penis were talking about how bad their lives suck. The pickle said when i get big fat and juicy they put me in a jar. The cucumber said u think u got it bad, well when i get big fat and juicy they slice me up and put me in salads. The penis comes up and says , well thats nuthin, when i get big fat and juicy, they put a rubber cage on me, lock me up in a dark cave, bang me againts the wall until i throw up and then i stay limp! LOL i thought it was funny.
2006-10-10 14:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think GW getting re-elected is as sick as him getting elected.
Sickest and most tasteless: Why did the chicken cross the road?
2006-10-10 12:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by Dylan 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
1
2017-02-09 01:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fatty and Thinny went to bed...
Fatty rolled over and Thinny was dead
2006-10-11 13:29:13 · answer #11 · answered by Bob 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋