I got a problem, please help!!! 10 points for grabs!!?

Question

some people are not interested in being friends with other people??? (I have been talking to lots of people recently in my class, job, clubs, and wherever I can find people). and it seems that they only want acquantance. They ask me for help in class and I help them and I ask them for help, and they help me. and some of the people never open up after talking to the same people after 2 months. They never start the conversation. I usually have to but most of the conversations are really short though.

Why is that??? If it has to do with trust issues, how can I get a person to trust me if they never open up with their issues? How can I get a good true friend? I feel like just quitting on talking to new people since they never seem to be a very good true friend (either not that responsive like "hi, did you do your homework?", "no", then that's the end of the conversation and that person never start talking to me though. or acquantance (person asks me for help and i ask them for help)

with me, why is that? what factors are there to make people to think like that? I just want to make a good friend. for those who said "You try too hard", define that, If I do not try at all, it will be impossible for me to even make friends. if you mean that I shouldn't try and let people come to me, i tried that but no people want to talk to me. how do i try not too hard? I have been polite and positive to make friends but still, it is not happening. What is wrong with me?

Answer 1

Nothing's wrong with you sweetheart. I know exactly how you feel. It's like you're speaking my exact thoughts 8 years ago, when I was in the 8th grade. I was very shy. I tried my best to make friends, but no one seemed to be interested in making a friendship grow. I ended up having 2 good friends throughout high school. I was so relieved when high school was over because I didn't have to deal with friendship problems anymore. But then I joined the military and I was forced to become confident. That was it. I just wasn't confident enough. I was too shy. I didn't appear fun to other people. Now I understand. I don't know a lot about you from you breif description...but I'd guess a million bucks, you have confidence issues. Or maybe, you're appearing desperate and even clingy. Are you giving these friends to be enough space? Next time you walk into class, hold your head up high and give a big confident smile to anyone who looks your way. Compliment on what someone's wearing and ask where they got it. What are you interested in? Instead of bringing new people to clubs, meet people already there because you already have a similar interest. Are you often negative about things you say? Try not to complain. Be happy, and in high spirits. It makes other people happy and want to be around you. I don't know what else to say except like confidence, friends come with time. You'll eventually feel more and more comfortable in your own skin. I wish you all the best and remember to be yourself. That's where your confidence lies. :)

Answer 2

Maybe it's really just the certain personalities you happen to meet. A lot of people are just introverts.
It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you because to me you seem like a nice and friendly person.
Just stay the same because there's bound to be a lot of people out there that you could click with and can be more than just acquantances with.

Answer 3

Aww sorry to hear of your troubles...

First off I will say, if people are only speaking with you for homework purposes, these people are not your friends. They are bottom feeders, looking for someone to use. Blow them off. You should try to find a group in your school that enjoys the same things as you. If your into science join the science club. If you like sports, join a team (chearleader privilages). If you are old enough, study how to mix drinks and get a job as a bartender. I know several bartenders, that have made many friends by meeting them and hearing their sob stories. Then became friends. People like to have someone who will listen.
Dont go out of your way to be someones friend or speak to them. It makes you look desperate, and that doesnt work in todays society.
Also, add a little bad boy to your image, create some mystry around yourself. It works. I'm not saying change, or do bad things, just give off that image.
Best of luck....

And remember, it's better to have ONE True friend, than a Million fake ones.....

Answer 4

I know you don't want to hear this, but you are actually trying too hard. Good friendships usually happen naturally, because some people are just compatible with each other. It's just like finding your soulmate...it usually happens when you aren't looking.

Instead of trying to milk friendships out of perfect strangers, think about people you already are friendly with and try to build on that. Having one or two good friends is better than having a bunch of 'kinda' friends. Hope this helps you a little, good luck.

Answer 5

U have to understand now days not all people will just talk to anyone so much is going on and well i hate to sound like your mother here but if they dont want to be ur friend dont worry about it its there lost not urs. i bet u are a great person. and i am sure that there are more people out there to be friends with. I never cry over spilt milk when someone doesnt be my friend, i make friends all the time and have no problem making them, it just seems to me that the fokes u are talking about just dont want to be your friend.

Answer 6

This is going to sound so silly, but here you go. join a group. a club . you know, it will be with people who are into the same things as you are, and you will be irrestible! Im serious, you must be looking at things in a different way, maybe you want a certain type of people to like you, just think about this, your gonna have way more fun doing what you enjoy instead of worrying about what people think.

Answer 7

Nothing wrong with you mate, some people are more introverted than others. Just keep being nice & sociable the freindships you seek will come your way dont force it or be impatient. Friends are hard to find & close true friends is even harder. Good luck & be patient.

Answer 8

i'm not sure why all people are like that, but i know that i find it hard to make friends with people just because i have had too many "so-called friends" that now, i stick with just aquaintances. i beleive that the human heart has a hard time getting over bad relationships they've had in the past. it's like a red flag that goes off, when they try to become new friends or even relationships. i also beleive that we as people need to learn to look past what has happened in our pasts, and move on. it's the bad friendships that have ruined us on new ones, does that make sense?

Answer 9

well.....maybe all those ppl r just jerks cos they r trying to take advantage of u and ur Homework. A true friend is what every1 will get and shud have. they r honest and allways there when u need them. Those ppl rn't ur ffriends.....there is nothing wrong with u that happens with every1....u'll true friend is around the corner.....u just haven't noticed yet. Good Luck!

Answer 10

I know how u feel.I feel like i always have to make all the effort and others just don't care.It sucks and hurts,but i have to live my life with or without friends.It may have nothing to do with u, it could just be the people u try to be friend.Maybe it's time to jsut accept that people suck!