After telling my best friend I'm in love with him and getting (politely) turned down, we are still the closest of friends.
At first I was just glad that he wasn't completely freaked out and horrified. The fact that he wanted to remain close friends was more than I could ever have hoped for. It was a huge gamble, after all.
The problem is, as we continue to spend most of our time together, I'm finding it increasingly painful to cope with the fact that he doesn't return my feelings. I value his friendship so highly- but, the fact is, I am in love with him and it's hurting me a great deal to be around him and have the rejection reinforced on a daily basis.
So I have been trying to ration my time with him. But the problem is that hurts too. So, should I just continue to be a good friend to him and learn to cope with the pain?
2006-10-10 12:36:04 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please understand that I've never had a boyfriend and have never opened up to anyone in the way I did with this guy. I'd never make myself that vulnerable. I have major issues with my appearance and never thought I could even fall in love. Being rejected has only confirmed to me all my fears of being ugly and undesirable. I'm worried this was my one chance of happiness and it's gone. What should I do?
2006-10-10 12:36:31 · update #1
Sounds like you need to spend less time with him. The more time that you spend together, the more it will hurt, because you will become more attracted to him.
And don't get so hung up on looks. Some guy out there will think that you are sexy no matter what you think of yourself. Also keep in mind that guys are attracted to an outgoing, funny, happy, self-confident person no matter what you look like.
2006-10-10 12:40:51 · answer #1 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have so bn there and i identify with everything you've said and lived thru it and come out on the other side. You're brave and true for doing what you did- no regrets you did the right thing and it was hard. The truth? your friendship is over- maybe in the future if you both have long term partners.... the friendship may have a 'second wind'. For you right now it is like a cancer, you have got to completely leave this guy behind otherwise this is gonna consume you- it's an incredibly hard thing to do... but you can save yourself this way and then deal with the issues you have with yourself. Be strong and take a difficult step. It's your decision and it would be symbolic of a change for the good in your life- moving towards a state where you'll eventually be happier. If you don't do it now then you will have to at some stage. Good luck with that x
2006-10-10 19:43:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have no choice in the matter. You love him and want to be near him. Apparently the situation is not so painful as to prevent you from doing that. If it becomes intolerable you will stop seeing him, otherwise you will learn to cope with this pain and continue to be with the man you love.
It's unrealistic of you to think that this was your one chance of happiness. Happiness does not depend on how other people feel about you; rather it is your perceptions that create your world.
2006-10-10 19:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best way to get over him is to spend less time with him...but also to use that time to find someone else you care for who feels the same way.
2006-10-10 19:43:01 · answer #4 · answered by Deleted 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go 4 it ask him y tell him y give him a reason to like u and to want to be wit u dont give up on hime if u like him so much
2006-10-10 19:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by dani s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think that you're right for each other, he'll eventually come around. if you know that he won't change his feelings, then you should try to get over loving him.
2006-10-10 19:39:42 · answer #6 · answered by sportzgurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋