my nan has alzhiemer's and recently has been saying that she can hear her mothers voice, and when i explain that isnt possible, she interrupts and says that she knows it isn't possible bcos her mother is in Wales and that someone has phoned her to let her know that she is ok.
how do i explain to her that her mother is dead without upsetting her?
She gets upset when i tell her that she is at home and doesn't have to go out so how can i handle this latest problem?
please help any serious advice welcome...
2006-10-10 12:29:53 · 16 answers · asked by donna y 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
there is no easy answer to this one sorry but it is possibley gonna be the hardest thing you ll have to deal with in your entire life . if you fully understand that the disease she has is a form of regression back to her child hood then she will hear all sorts or weird things yet she wont comprehend what has happened in the last few minutes its truly a horrible disease to be stricken with and my thoughts Will be with you . you ll feel like tearing your hair out at times and weepy and all sorts of emotions will over come you as her carer , altzimers attack es the nervous system and brain it will be a complete test of your inner strength to see her caring till her demise sorry but youll just have to ask for help and support from other family when you feel the need . if you dont youll soon be on the path to a break down your self as its horrible to see somone you love have this happen to them but as for things she will do no one can fore see what will happen as to her actions , my friends grandmother used to leave the house at all hours in night wear and be found wandering the streets not knowing who she was or where she was it was awful for my friend but when the good lord too her nan it was a blessing its only going to get worse im sorry .
2006-10-10 13:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by a1ways_de1_lorri_2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work in aged care and deal with this all the time. Don't tell her just play along. Dementia can be a good thing, she doesn't realize what is going on and she would be happy to know her mother is OK. It may not be easy for you to deal with this but you will cause her to be upset with trying to convince her of the truth and then you will be more upset for upsetting her. Just let her be happy with her beliefs and I would only tell her the truth about things she brings up which are bad the truth here will make her happy. If you haven't lost your mother imagine what it would feel like if someone told you out of the blue she is dead........and of course this is going to constantly happen because she will always forget her parents are dead so why not let her believe they are alive.
2006-10-10 12:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by Abs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her that her mother is passed. You're right. This will only upset her. Change the topic. Ask her about her memories with her mother. Alzheimer's is a difficult disease to deal with at times. Diversion is your best option. Also, if she's asking to go out, let her ~with you of course~. If she wants to go to a particular place that isn't possible at that time, let her know. Inform her; "We can't go to the mall right now, but how would you like to go on a walk around the block?" The neuro pathways when transmitting a message in your nan are a bit jumbled. She may intend to say one thing, but it comes out another contorted way. Stay patient. Her quality of life is what's most important.
Good luck~
2006-10-10 12:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you do is divert her attention.If your nan has alzheimers then every time you tell her her mother is dead then you are giving a new cause to grieve as she doesnt know about you telling her 50 times already -she has forgotten.you get her to think about something else and though she will keep going back to her mum etc you just do the same thing again.its the same for reminding her shes already at home -she wont remember so why cause grief toyou and to her .I know Im a psyche nurse and I work and have done withpeople whohave dementia for a very long time
2006-10-11 08:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her that her mother is dead. It will accomplish nothing but upsetting her. She is past reasoning. You have to remember that she is not herself anymore and never will be. It will just progress. If she wants to go out for no reason, it's time to get some help. You need to either get her nursing around the clock or (and I suggest this) it's time to put her in a nursing home. It's not like it used to be--there are some really nice ones out there. She won't like it, but you have to do it for her safety.
2006-10-10 12:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell your Nan that her Mother has passed away.
When we die, we are met by our Loved Ones who have gone before, so she may be hearing her Mam in the distance.
Even if she is just imagining, why cause her added distress? Alzheimer's is bad enough for her to contend with already.
Good luck.
2006-10-10 12:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People with this illness cannot comprehend information, details etc. By explaining, you will upset the person even more because they'll get frustrated and angry. I''m afraid all that you can do is 'play along' so to speak.
I really do sympathise as i had a family member suffer from this and its heartbreaking to watch xxxxxxxx
2006-10-10 12:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by fiona g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't explain it. My nan had Alzheimer's and was happy all the while we went along with things. When you tried to correct her she got confused and upset. Although it is awful to watch, she was having a good time most of the time, chatting with old friends and reliving her childhood. As long as she is happy and safe, go along with her!
2006-10-10 12:48:19 · answer #8 · answered by libbyft 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres 2 trains of thought on dealing with this.
1. You lie and agree with her and say its ok dont worry etc or
2. You re-orientate to her place and time and risk her distress for a few minutes.
It all depends on her short term memory loss.
You could try and distract her by changing the subject, or you could encourage her to talk about her mum. I suppose it comes down to what works best for your nan.
2006-10-10 12:34:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My nan has he beginnings of Alzheimer's has well so I know what you are going through. Its tough watching someone you love losing who they are. All I can say is be patient with her. Just listen to her and sit with her. Don't try to explain anything to her. It will just get her and you upset even more. I'm glad she has someone like you to look out for her. God bless.
2006-10-10 12:37:42 · answer #10 · answered by geminiidream63 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋