I'm getting married next Friday my fiancee' and I has been together for 6 years and don't want a big wedding at all (we are going to city hall) but our family is giving us a lot of bull about it. Would you care what your family has to say?
2006-10-10 11:32:16 · 31 answers · asked by Cutiepie85 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I wouldn't care; my fiancee and I were going to have a small intimate wedding in Jamaica, my mother made such a big stink about.. her friends not being invited, her not staying in the same hotel as my man & I, when she would be arriving in Jamaica, why she couldn't fly do with us, and on and on! I called the whole wedding off! We decided that we are just getting married at the court house next year.. and she is mad (you can't win with her!) So I told her that I loved her but this is what we are doing if she choses not to come I understand (b/c she wants things her way). So your family will get over it eventually... Just my advice... do what you want! God doesn't care if you get married in a Court House or and Out House just as long as you do it! Good Luck!
2006-10-10 13:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. Hot Chocolate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. Ultimately it IS your wedding, and you have the right to do what makes you comfortable. HOWEVER, weddings also signify the joining of 2 families, so maybe your families are feeling like something should be done to recognize this event in both families lives. Maybe there's a compromise here, have a small wedding at someone's house (a parent most likely) and have the judge there, with only immediate family attending. After all, marriage and dealing with in laws is ALL about compromise.
I had to add after reading maigen's response...parents DO make a big deal about their children's weddings, its' a big step for all of them, the parent and the child. I have 2 children, a 16 year old and 12 year old, and I would be VERY VERY hurt if either one of them just "ran off" and got married and didn't include me in the day. I'd get over it, of course, but I would be devastated.
2006-10-10 19:13:52 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't want your families involved in your wedding you shouldn't have told them you were getting married. You brought this conflict on yourself. Contrary to popular belief, a wedding is about family, not just the bride and groom. You have two choices elope and anger your families or have a wedding with your families. You don't have to have an elaborate wedding with 200 people and spend thousands of dollars. I don't think you realize how much a wedding means to parents. I suggest a destination wedding on a cruise or an island. It won't cost alot, since everyone pays for themselves. You'll get a honeymoon, and the important people will come. An all-inclusive thing is best, that way you don't have to pay for a reception. We went to a destination wedding last December and it was great. We got a 4 day vacation, got to go to a wedding and it didn't cost us that much.
2006-10-10 18:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would ABSOLUTELY care what my family had to say. They are really important to me and they are the ones who will be a part of your lives together. They care because they care about the two of you and want to be a part of your special day. A marriage is more than the joining of two people--it is the joining of two families. So, if your family wants to be a part of the day, then you should really take that into consideration. If you can't afford to have a big wedding or a big party to celebrate your union, invite both sets of parents to city hall to watch your nuptuals and then invite your closest relatives to join you for a nice sit-down dinner at a restaurant that possibly has a back room so you can have a little privacy.
2006-10-10 18:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they are wanting you to throw a HUGE wedding with all the trimmings, then they are being irrational since it is not what you want. However, if they just want to be involved, I think they probably deserve that much and should be invited to watch you two have your union at city hall. You may want to go out for dinner or something with them afterwards. Make sure that they know you love them and want them to be a part of your new lives, but that this is the way things work best for you guys.
Congrats and good luck!
2006-10-11 00:29:32 · answer #5 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no.
I certainly care enough about my family that I would not exclude them from my wedding. They were there for me when I needed help, and the least I can do is let them share that wonderful moment.
On the other hand, it's my wedding, and I would keep it small, if that's what's most appropriate.
Go to city hall, but do it on a day when your family can be there to see it. Don't elope - just don't have a huge wedding.
2006-10-10 19:49:38 · answer #6 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately it's what the two of you want in terms of your wedding. But I can understand what your family is saying. Especially certain cultures have so many traditions involved in a wedding. You should hear what they have in mind. Weddings are strangely very important to family especially the parents. If it's not too much to ask for you can compromise and get your family involved in your wedding, but like I said in the start, it is ultimately your wedding and what you decide is what it will be.
2006-10-10 20:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there oh boy have i been there .....look its up to you and youre fiancee,what kind of wedding you have they are important .but not the main attraction on youre wedding day ,it could be that you just cant or dont want to spend massive amounts of money on what is really only a afternoon and an evening ,get them all together and sit them down and tell them whats going to happen on YOURE WEDDING DAY .....AND YOU BOTH WANT THEM ALL TO BE THERE or what ever youre plans for youre day are ,but will understand if they dont come to what you want .....you will show them the photos and believe me that will sort them out ....the thought of them not being in the photos ,well thats what i did and it worked a treat for me they all soon shut up and let us get on with it !!.......i wish you a great wedding day and more important a fantastic future together full of love and laughter andwhen things go a bit wrong just give each other a cuddle and shoulder it together good luck together take care of each other XX
2006-10-11 02:24:48 · answer #8 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They need to get over it. Weddings are a waste of money. You've been together a long time, so you obviously know you want to be together. You're saving money and using it on real things--house payments/rent, bills, groceries, etc. Besides, it's your wedding, so it's your choice. The memories you want of your special day are up to you and your fiancee. Tell them where they can get off.
2006-10-10 19:55:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i won't cause i don't like making a huge thing with a wedding as well. for us back home when people get marry they can throw a dinner for 40 - 100 tables in luxury hotels apart of whatever reception they need to go through (depending on races) and mind i always find it such a huge drama with all this cause why bother to put up a show and have to spend so much money after all which i really consider wasting money instead! to make it grand won't guarantee a long lasting marriage so have your way that both partners agreed to instead.
2006-10-10 20:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by - 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋