My fiance was in a wedding and the Bride invited me to every single shower, I never even got to see a real wedding invitation tho! I got her all kinds of good presents, spent a pretty penny on them because they are good friends of mine. I felt like it was kinda rude tho because it seemed to me that she was ok with asking for presents, but they didnt want to spend the extra 1.50 to actually ask me to come to their wedding. I know it was implied that I would be their with my fiance, but it was obviously not implied for me to just come bring her presents--they made darn sure of that! I plan to make certain that everyone who is invited to a shower of mine gets a wedding invite! What are your feelings on it?
2006-10-10 09:22:10 · 28 answers · asked by ASH 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
forgot to mention this, they didn't even invite my fiance! They didnt actually invite anyone in the wedding party, it was like-your comin anyway, im not wasting a stamp on you!
2006-10-10 09:35:49 · update #1
Extremely rude. Don't know how to say this, but also cheap.
I know that weddings cost money, mine was upwards of $50k but we still sent EVERYONE an invitation. We sent invitations to all sorts of friends and family members that we knew wouldn't show, RSVP, or send a gift but we did it because we were announcing our upcoming marriage to the world. The celebration of our unity in marriage! Ugh, I hate it when people start to penny pinch about the news of their marriage.
My sister was my maid of honor and she told me not to waste the money on postage but I ignored her. I sent the invitation, she didn't RSVP (said she didn't need to because she was in it) and still brought her lame BF (they have since broken up) who wasn't even invited to the wedding! We happily paid for the dinner and made everyone comfortable because that is what is called MANNERS.
Don't be surprised if you don't get a Thank-You note after the wedding and for your gifts. Hate to sound cynical, but it will cost them 39 cents for the stamp and it doesn't sound like they will spring for it. : )
2006-10-10 10:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well am confused did you go to the wedding or not? Or is the wedding in the future? I can understand your feelings are hurt but you also need to realize that weddings are expensive. Didn't you see Father of the Bride? (ok its a movie but same principal applies). She may not be able to invite everybody to the wedding that she wants to so she is is inviting the most people she can to enjoy themselves at the showers.
Yes I realize she may have been rude and crass but give her the benefit of the doubt and understand where she is coming from at this stage in the wedding process. She is probably under a lot of pressure and stress and may not even realize your name was left off. Don't say anything to her and let it ride. If you are invited to any other showers in the future for her (or anyone else for that matter) and you don't want to or have the money then bring something homemade (with a recipe attached to it ) like Sinfully Sweat Decadent Chocolate Cookies ( tell her she will need a fire extinguisher most likely or that could be her husband to).
As for you sending out wedding invites to all your shower guests that is fine as long as you remember that the reception costs more than $1.50 per person.
2006-10-10 09:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by victoria b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your question is worded in a confusing way.
You were saying that you were invited to the wedding, but not via official mailed invitation, correct? Yes, it's pretty tacky and low class to try and save a few bucks by not sending invitations to the people you already KNOW are coming to your wedding (wedding party, parents, etc.) I don't really think it's worth getting all worked up over though. Some people are just inconsiderate and cheap and getting upset isn't going to fix that. Ask your fiance if he thinks it's worth saying something to these people about your feelings being hurt that you weren't mailed an invitation.
2006-10-10 13:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by vicvic* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when I opened this I thought you meant that you were either inviting someone to all of your showers and not inviting them to your wedding at all or being invited to all of these events and then not invited to the wedding at all and yes, that is really rude. But, what you're saying, I think, is that you were invited to all of these things and your fiance is in the wedding. Now, you guys never received a paper invitation but are clearly invited, right? If that's the case, it's only mildly rude, but moreso it's just weird. I understand the cutting costs thing, but on sending invitations to guests is not the way to do it. Did they talk to the groomsmen/bridesmaids before the wedding to say that they wouldn't be sending invitations to the bridal party because they didn't think it was necessary seeing as how the bridal party would certainly be at the wedding? If not, then it is rude and strange, but more strange than rude. Also, I think it's a little presumptuous of you to expect your own invitation when you are your fiance's date. It would be proper and common to send the two of you one invitation addressed to both of you, not two invitations--one for each of you.
2006-10-10 11:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is kinda rude.... especially when ur fiance was in the wedding...are u not invited as his guest?? that's weird.
but they are "saving" more than just $1.50 for the invitation =T..they are saving cost of food per person, space at the table, etc..but still! if that were the case, she should've Said something to you regarding not being able to invite you to the wedding, but Please come to the shower..that way u wouldn't "have" to have gotten her presents, or spent so much cuz u know u weren't invited.
i'm glad u are not so upset that you plan to NOT ask her to your wedding, instead u are planning to do the Right thing when it is your turn! :) that is a great way to stay positive, and not make the same mistake someone has done to you~
2006-10-10 09:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming you wanted your own paper invitation? Because your stating that your fiance would be there... or invited. I honestly think that if you engaged she prob group you and your fiance together as a married couple and sent one invite to just him. Double check an see if your name is on his invite. Yes, it may have been a little impersonal but I am sure she wants you at the wedding. Honestly, As a bride to be, I am doing my invites the same way- if your engaged- I only am sending it to one person. You figured invites are like $5 (for cheap ones) per person so you individual sent the out to every person, I would be spending $750 on just invites (for 150 people), but instead it only ends up being $375 when you group people together as couples. I am sure it was nothing personal and she really wants you there. Those invites are expensive- you have to pay for the card, envelope, tissue paper, the reception card, the return card and return envelopes with stamp- it really adds up!!!
2006-10-10 09:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didnt give out invites to my wedding either. I just told my friends and knew they would be there. why send an invite to people in the wedding party..they will be there so why waste the stamp. its not like you werent invited to the wedding...like you said they knew you'd be there with your fiance. it would be rude to have you to a shower and not invite you at all or even assume you would be coming, but wasting a stamp on someone you know and they know are invited is just silly.
2006-10-10 12:56:55 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me what happened here is that they didn't order enough invitations so the wedding party AND their dates didn't get mailed invites. You are making way too much of this, go to the wedding have a good time. Technically, they should have sent you an official invitation, but obviously they expect you to attend their wedding. In other words, get over it.
2006-10-10 12:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The invitation should have been address to both you and your fiance. If she didn't do that then she made a mistake.. However, if you know that the invitation was in fact MEANT for both of you, then you need to just let it go. The world won't end.
In another situation though, it would be EXTREMELY rude to invite a person to showers and not invite them to the ceremony.
2006-10-10 09:31:36 · answer #9 · answered by limgrn_maria 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did the invite to your fiance say "and guest" or have your name? If it said "and guest" then I would have been offended for sure! If they made sure to put your name on the inside envelope in the invite sent to your fiance's address then I would say that they just look at the two of you as together enough to send one invite and not be offended.
I do agree that the best policy is to send one invite to each address, so if you and your fiance do not live together than you should have really each gotten an invitation.
2006-10-10 09:35:20 · answer #10 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rude actually to invite someone to more than one shower.
Showers are typically arranged by relation to couple (work shower, brides family shower, groom's family shower, etc..)
Some close relatives of the couple (such as the MOB or MOG) are probably invited to all the showers but not asked to bring gifts.
If you were to be a guest of your fiance' then your name should have been on his invitation as well as his. At the very very least it should have been him + guest. Although it's quite tacky to put "guest" on the invitation, the couple is supposed to try and find out the name of the guest atleast - especially if they know the 'guest' personally.
2006-10-10 09:30:30 · answer #11 · answered by Rainy Days and Mondays 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋