My Boyfriend is going to Vegas for a bachelor party this weekend. Now this one perticular trip wouldn't bother me as much if he hadn't already gone on 3 trips this year without me, one to the Avi Resort in AZ(bachelor party), two trips to Parker River. The only trip he's taken me on were the local camping trips at Piru, etc. and to Bass lake for a week, which ended up bad because his friends are wierd people. Anywho, the main reason why I don't really trust him is because there have been numerous times where he's been drunk and said/done things and not remember a thing in the morning. In my mind one question pops up, if he doesn't remember cheating on me, then how can he say he would never do it? And how convenient is it for him to not remember? I guess my question is (sorry about the ramble)Am I over reacting? Because I know my atitude and mood has changed and he notices it but I don't know how to tell him whats bothering me, and I don't want to hurt him but I have feelings too.
2006-10-10 08:54:19 · 22 answers · asked by Tracey 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A little back up now that Yahoo is allowing me to elaborate:
He is not a cheater. He would never do it, and when I was upset about the trip, he told me he would never do that to me and only drinks incessantly in front of me because he knows I will be the designated driver, so he knows he doesn't have to have limits. BUT....... He does not know his limits in front of me, how do I know he knows his limits when he isn't in front of me?
I know that I'm insecure, and rightfully so when he keeps going on trips, giving me a days notice sometimes an hour (this time he gave me 3 weeks, so that's something right?) But all the while he says he loves me and wants to move out with me, start a life, he said if I were to get pregnant he would want to keep it, and as much as I want to believe him, TRUST ME, I KNOW I'M RETARDED IF I DO...... but I realized that's what I want! I want to settle down and have a family, you know, relax for a change and feel safe... Thank You for all your advice.
2006-10-10 09:12:01 · update #1
Here's the bottom line: If you suspect he's cheating, if you feel like he's lying, if his neglect in the relationship makes you unhappy, if you find yourself not having fun with him like you used to, if you basically have more doubt than you do trust, just break up with him and find someone who doesn't make you feel this way. It's that simple. This is a basic concept and women tend to greatly overlook their own happiness to instead, overanalyze every little moment of their relationship. It sounds to me like you're not happy with him so end it. Let him go on these trips as a bachelor since it seems he's doing that anyway.
2006-10-10 08:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my Godsh! Sounds like this guy is trying to get all he can before he marrys you! What makes you think he would be any diff after you marry him? Taking you on a loacl camping trip? Whoa... And his friends recked it? Doesnt sound like he is ready to GROW UP! Have you tried talking to him? Maybe you should be taking some trips with the girls all over the place! Or maybe you should just totally lose this dude. Sounds like a little punk *** that doesnt know what he wants. Once a cheater always a cheater. Dont be a silly girl that gets trapped in some bull **** relationship. Dump his ***!!!!!!
2006-10-10 15:58:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"you have feelings too" you said it yourself and answered your own question while you were at it. You should talk to him and tell him how you feel. You should talk to him and tell him everything you have said and expressed here to us. You are right about the cheating thing,, and him not remembering is convenient. He does remember,,, he remembers everything, but he figures you are gulable enough to beleive him and so he says what he thinks you will believe. Yes I would be upset about him going on another trip without me if he was my bf. I would tell him either I go too, or we are through. Just that simple. If he is cheating and he catches something, I know you don't want it. If he says you can't go, bet your hard earned dollar........ someone is in his bed and it isn't you. I hope all goes well. Blessed be
2006-10-10 16:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, I could never even imagine myself in a relationship with a guy who goes to several bachelor parties a year, and drinks so much he can't remember a thing in the morning... Being that you choose to be with him, best you can do is accept the way things are, and not worry too much. You'll drive yourself crazy otherwise!
2006-10-10 15:59:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have all rights to be upset. Why is he going to so many bachelor parties ? Why is he going away so often? Are you sure he does not remember cheating on you or maybe he does not want to remember? Do you always want to wonder, is he cheating? Why are you with him?
Plain and simple: you do not trust him and he does not deserve to be trusted; leave him.
2006-10-10 16:10:45 · answer #5 · answered by sexy_love_vi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He don't have to be cheating, and man hang out with the boys. Sounds like you need some girl friends to hang with because your brain is working overtime and you are just looking for the worst. Do you trust him or not? And if you want to go on a trip TAKE HIM ON ONE! You can offer to take him somewhere.
2006-10-10 15:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd leave him he doesn't sound very promiseing and if he comes home durnk and can't remember a thing who knows. Plus if he can't realize u have feelings to he's not worth it. Get out there and find some one you know you can trust. Don't hold back.
2006-10-10 16:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by Baby girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 things:
take time for yourself... plan out parties with your friends. dont stay and do nothing but wait for him. i think you should also enjoy yourself. go out with your friends and have fun. life wont end just because he didnt take you on a trip.
love and respect yourself... if you think you have feelings to let out, then let it out. tell him. confront him. that's the only way you can understand more of each other. and if you think he's cheating, confront him and ask. if he respects you then he shouldn't cheat. only way to find out is to ask and observe his ways.
you deserve better... if proven guilty, then you two are not meant to be.
do what you think is right and please dont put all your eggs in one basket otherwise you'll have nothing if the basket falls off, save some for yourself. Ã do what is right sweetie.. Ã
2006-10-10 15:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by deedee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity is the acid that will eat away the bridges you have made together in your relationship.
No you are not over reacting. But you need to clear this up in your head or it will be your demise in this relationship. You will drive him away, probably for no reason. You've obviously already talked to him about it. TRUST him. If he hurts you, yeah it will suck alot, but atleast you won't have been living in your own constant hurt until then.
I also agree with Kat above me.
2006-10-10 15:59:17 · answer #9 · answered by Rockstar 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dump Him! Hes a sorry butt for not taking you on trips... I can understand the Bachelor partys but for crying out loud he is cheating on you for taking this many trips with out you.
2006-10-10 15:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by bt30711 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋