i think marriage is about the 2 people getting married and not about throwing the wedding of the century. wud u understand if someone close 2 u went away and did it without telling any1? has any1 been biterally upset after finding out about a 'secret' wedding, why and did u get over it?
2006-10-10 08:45:33 · 19 answers · asked by blissfullyhappy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have not been in this situation but I think I would understand if one of my friends or family members wanted to get married that way. It is about what they want not what you want.
2006-10-10 08:49:03 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some reason when you get married people tend to worry about what their role is in your wedding. The funny thing is, they have no real role in YOUR marriage, why should they have a role in your wedding?
Take off and go get married. Save yourself the wedding fiasco/hassel and just be happy together. (Make sure you know the license requirements where you are going, some states have waiting periods) If you want to bring some close family/freinds with, its your call.
Oh, but once you get married, don't delay in telling people, that will upset people. Also, don't let people hear second-hand if they are close enough to you that they would have been standing up in the wedding or sitting in the front 2 rows had you had a big ceremony.
Put it in the paper to let everyone else know.
2006-10-10 08:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by superchrisw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably wont like this but here goes. My son is planning to marry next June, he is my oldest child and also the oldest grandchild of the family. He has seven cousins, five over 18. Three of them are married. He and his fiance have been to all three weddings. My son and his fiance have been dating and living together for 10 years. Every time the family gets together the question is when is it your turn. As A mother I can honestly say I would be DEVISTATED if they decided not to include anyone. I would not let them know how upset I was but I would always be sad when I thought about their wedding. In other word's, NO I WOULD NEVER GET OVER IT. I don't want to discourage you but please think of your family, mostly the mother's of the two. They might pretend that it's OK what you did but they would never forget. I would say it depends on if you have a close family or not.
2006-10-10 09:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if I was a parent I would be upset that my child had a secret wedding......I would want to at least be able to celebrate it with my child I think. If I were just another family member or friend I don't think that I would be upset. Maybe instead of having a secret wedding....tell your close family and friends what you think you want to do and see their reactions.
The wedding should be something the bride and groom will remember as a great day, so do what will make you and your husband to be truly happy.
Good luck!
2006-10-10 09:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not married but I think if you want to get married in a private ceremony that is fine. If either of you are close to your parents it would be a good idea if they are in attendance but the other guests don't really matter. You could have a reception where everyone can come and celebrate the joining of the two of you in marriage and bring you gifts. The marriage and the wedding should be about what YOU want not everyone who will be witnesses to the wedding and marriage. The best of luck.
2006-10-10 08:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by jonesty1284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you are wrong. A wedding isn't at all just about the couple. A wedding is a celebration of the marriage by the community - family and friends who are there to witness the event and share your joy. It is extremely selfish to go away and do it on your own. A wedding doesn't need to be huge to celebrate the way I explain - it can just be close family in friends - or, for those who want, they can cast a wider net.
2006-10-10 10:28:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have to see it both ways. Yes, it is about the two of you and you have to do what YOU want not what other people want. If you want to elope then this is what you should do. You shouldn't have a big wedding if this isn't what you want!
But on the other hand it is not completely fair if you do it in secret to your family. I'm not saying don't do it, I'm just saying you have to understand why your mom who has dreamed of her first daughter or whatever getting married and now she has gone off and secretly gotten married. Not only was she not invited but she wasn't even warned that it was going to happen. So, go and have fun if you want to elope but don't expect to come home and have everybody be really joyful over it either!! Just think about that!
2006-10-10 09:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wedding is about celebrating your marriage with your nearest and dearest. It is something you should be proud of and flaunt, not treat as a dirty secret that no one should know about.
That said, an elaborate wedding isn't necessary either. What matters is that your loved ones are there to celebrate your marriage, not what the final bill came to.
I do not know anyone who has done this. If I did, I would assume that the couple didn't think that their wedding was deserving of a celebration, or that they were ashamed. I would not be mad at them, but I would feel sorry for them.
2006-10-10 09:12:37 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My last husband and I had a very elaborate wedding and reception planned. 2 months before the big date we decided to run away one weekend and just get married then used the money we saved to take our combined family of 5 kids on a vacation/honeymoon for 2 weeks.
Sure the family wasnt totally thrilled that they didnt get to attend the wedding, but with us eloping they were all off the hook as to buying us a gift. :)
2006-10-10 08:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by kimmi_35 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your day. Do what YOU want. Yes, your family may be upset but they will get over it, espcially if you are happy. Think of the money you will save by not having a big wedding. That is money that can be used for a really nice honeymoon or a downpayment on a house.....
2006-10-10 08:53:40 · answer #10 · answered by parrothead2371 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I just recently got married and we didn't tell neither my family or his until after we did it. Of course they weren't thrilled about the idea but they all handled it pretty well. We only had a justice of the peace wedding cause we were low in funds. They understood.
2006-10-10 13:44:49 · answer #11 · answered by country girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋