I have a guy i am seeing he is also a friend and kind of a bf of 2 months. He is a really sweet guy , gentle, and generous person but emotionaly unstable and mood swings he is depressed a lot. He is in a band and in the beginning of the relationship he told me he used to have a slight drug problem. Recently though he has been acting really depressed and he says he quiet smoking but reeks of smoke on a regular basis. His eyes sometimes are blood shot when he gets angry and makes threat and thinks i am the ex. gf who cheated which i a not.He was depressed about the ex. gf when we met. He was adicted to speed before we met i found out from his friend and he goes to meetings. He promised to stop drinking but he has not and he is scaring me when he is passed out and seeing things that are not their. I dont know what to do to help him?
2006-10-10 08:28:15 · 32 answers · asked by Megan P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I feel guilty about liking another guy i met in school an old friend i met at the end of last year who i am atracted too and have lots in common with and makes me feel special and stress free but would feel guilty if i left my bf and he relapsed further.
2006-10-10 08:30:46 · update #1
You should move on.
2006-10-10 08:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are allowing yourself to feel guilty into staying in this relationship with your bf. I would not feel guilty. He was like this when you first met, he was hung up on his ex and he still is. YOU are the rebound. I am reallly sorry for saying that, but you are. You really need to let him go and let him sort out his own life. Go be with this guy you are attracted to and just go on with your life. You can't help this guy you are presently dating, and he doesn't want your help. You are asking for an answer that ultimately you are the only one that can decide. But you are fighting a losing battle trying to help this person when its not your help he wants. If he got back with his ex, he would keep his promises to her, he wouldn't be depressed anymore, and he would be happy. Why? Because he put his *happiness* in her.......... in another person without finding his * happiness* in himself where he should have been happy all along. I hope you move on and just let him sort out his own life. He is no good for you or to anyone else, let alone himself right now. He will get through this. And I really hope you move on before he brings you down too. Blessed be
2006-10-10 08:39:05 · answer #2 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop right now & I mean NOW!! You need to help yourself by only & I mean only being his friend right now and nothing more. You are trying to be the rescuer when all he really needs is a friend & nothing more right now. He sounds like he has deep issues & it is true that it is only up to him to seek the type of help he needs to become emotionally healthy as well as physically. He sounds like he is an addict & he really needs to get into a psychologist (only if he wants to change) to get to the bottom of all this.......if he is seeing things that are not there, then you know that is hallucinating. It is either being caused by drugs or his mental state of mind. If you become too involved in trying to rescue him & at the same time thinking your love will change him....you will become very unhappy & live in fear. Stay healthy & involve yourself with a guy that does not have emotional instability...if you choose not to then you will have to ask yourself why you think you need or deserve this.
ADDITIONAL: In regards to your additional details.....all you are feeling is guilt and when it comes down to it...Why??? We are all responsible for our well-being...if you think about it...you are giving yourself way too much credit in thinking that you are the only reason for someone elses well-being!!! The normal person, no matter how far down they feel...will inevitably pick up the pieces & create happiness in their lives again. But this takes a person that is not influenced by any type of drug! Place the guilt where it belongs....with him & his choices.
2006-10-10 08:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a bad situation. I know you want to help a guy because you see a good side, but honestly, what do you see in this guy? You should not be his girlfriend right now!!!!! Be a friend and get him some help! Take him to group meetings and keep an eye on his habits. He needs to stop smoking and drinking and doing drugs because believe me HE IS DOING THEM BEHIND YOUR BACK!!! You cannot have an affect on him while being his girlfriend. He needs a friend right now! Get him some help anywhere that you can!
2006-10-10 08:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by +TheEndIsInSight+ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first is first... you have to either break up with him or learn to live with the way he is depressed and his problems. There's not much you can do to help him, except for comfort him and that you also need to realize it takes someone of profession in psychology or a psychiatrist to handle his problems. If I were you I would tell him up front about it and say just to get some help or we cant be together.
Its not fair to you, and theres not much you can do to help him. It's a lot of thinking you have to do between his drugs, angry, and depression. Take a realistic view, you've only been together for 2 months and you already have major problems.
2006-10-10 08:36:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You boyfriend needs to get himself into a rehab right away. His seeing things is not a good sign.
He probably isn't going to do it and there is really nothing you can do unless his family can have him declared incompetent.
I knew someone once who was having the same symptoms as your boyfriend.
He didn't make it though the year he was a musician too.
Also, you are going to have to be careful for your safety too.
It is a really sad situation and I wish you luck with it.
Call 1-888-4al-anon
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
He is going to relapse with or without you seeing someone else.
Just remember it is not your fault. His true love is the drink.
2006-10-10 08:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by noice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not your problem...You are your problem!
Your do not see yourself as worthy of having more.
Understand you can not fix people and all those "things" you described, should be used as a filtering system to rid yourself of losers like that. Help yourself for a change... The first step is by not NOT helping him. You know inside you deserve so much more than waisting time on trying to figure this guy out. Find someone who is not as complicated and enjoy your life.
Please be careful though... He sounds like a guy who suck the life out of you. So run girly girl RUN!
2006-10-10 08:42:56 · answer #7 · answered by mc angelicque 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very simple. Dump him quickly before he either gets you pregnant or injures you. Emotionally unstable people with mood swings who take drugs and lie about it are to be avoided. It's nice you want to help him but nobody but he can do that. Find another boyfriend who doesn't have all those problems.
2006-10-10 08:34:12 · answer #8 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has unstable mood swings/blood shot eyes because of the drugs, alcohol and cigarette smoking(smoking cigarettes enhance his moods that is what it does.)
You are scared for him heh you really should be scared for yourself. It is a matter of time before he snaps and you don't want to be there when it happens. Leave quickly and quietly or I fear you will be in deep **** that will be hard to get out of.
2006-10-10 08:46:17 · answer #9 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to help him you need to help yourself and get out of that relationship before you are on the news found in pieces in a garbage bag. Sorry for being so drastic but that guy needs help that you can't give him. Sometimes it's best to worry about yourself and not others.
2006-10-10 08:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by shaqmc21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow im so sorry but your bf has some deep insecure issues there that he needs to deal with quickly by talking to someone ie. a councillor to get to the underlying problems and then not only will your relationship get better but he will also discover himself which has been hiding behind his issues.good luck to you both
2006-10-10 08:34:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋