do you think it will work? or can you never get over what broke you apart the first time, for me family disaproval
2006-10-10 08:20:13 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It can work, but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. You have to make sure you're not just wanting to get back together because it's easy (I know it seems like it wouldn't be easy, but you've already got a past, and you've already kissed, perhaps already had sex, and a lot of people go back to the familiarity for that reason only). Also, you have GOT to be open with each other, and not get defensive.
I nearly split up with my husband (based on something bad I did), and we got back together, and we're happier than we ever were before, but it requires work (every day) and the swallowing of a LOT of pride on both our parts.
You can't just "get over" what happened before. That's not the way humans work, we have memories, and we can't just remove those memories. What you have to do is decide if you can face those memories regularly, and if you love the guy enough to work through the hurt that will be there to get to the other side and be happy together.
You mention family disapproval, and I just want to say, since I don't know WHAT you guys broke up over, your family can be a good sounding board. No, you shouldn't base your decision on what they think, but the fact that they're there implies that they were there when your guy wasn't. Seriously consider that they care about you and don't want you to make a mistake, but they aren't there just wanting to think of ways to make you miserable and alone. :-)
You don't mention what went wrong, so I just want to say, if he has ever even once physically or sexually hurt or degraded you, or if he has a history of actual emotional or mental abuse (not just that you had a fight, but that he regularly spoke to you in ways that made you feel worthless, that he was the best you'd ever get, or tried to pull you away from other people who care about you), please, please, PLEASE consider passing this opportunity to get back together up. Those kinds of things aren't themselves just the problem, they're evidence of the way he deals with situations. If that's how he deals with situations, you would almost certainly be opening yourself back up to it again. Unless he's gone through counseling for that, no amount of "I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it, it won't ever happen again" means anything, because that's just how he is.
I would hope that, in addition to asking total strangers who answer with no back-stories, you are also doing some serious soul-searching, and talking to people you respect, coming at this from an objective angle. Holding out for a better guy may just be a lot better than settling in with someone who isn't right for you.
2006-10-10 08:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it could work me and my ex'es all ways asking each other back out but 1 certain ex of mine is always there after I break up with some one and he is not going out with any one when i break up with who ever and I never get over him. So if you feel you belong together go for it.!!
2006-10-10 08:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by HannaMontana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you ever get over what made you break up properly the first time. And if the break up hurt a lot then you will always remember the pain you felt.
Maybe its time to take a step back, sort your head out and move on with your life - and not with your ex. Remember they're an ex for a reason.
2006-10-10 08:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by Leiani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it
Unless every disapprover is dead
Personally, my family disapproved of my ex, but never interferred. They let us go our own way and eventually we both saw in each other why it would never work.
Outsiders (relationship outsiders that is) often see things more clearly. They probably had very good reason for thier disapproval and the fact you split showed up the weakness.
Hell, give it a go by all means - just keep your feet on the ground,
Nothing like 'told you so' the second time around!
2006-10-10 08:26:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this 1 is a hard 1. Will it work.. depends how much both people concerned try. As for family approval, this is a 2 sided thing.. we see the person we're with through rose coloured glasses are families don't. My advice if you care for this person and they care for you go for it, work things through. If the family thing doesn't change, ask them how they got to be so perfect and can they give you soon tips.
2006-10-10 09:46:14 · answer #5 · answered by chatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every once in awhile I think about getting back with my ex but it wouldn't work. I will never forgive him nor trust him.
2006-10-10 08:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by Alissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ex'es stay ex'es never going back
2006-10-10 08:33:24 · answer #7 · answered by God Is Love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would fall back into an old routine very quickly but saying that people can change. Although maybe to much sometimes. It depends on your situation i think and on how much has happended and changed since you were last together. If you split up and remained friends then maybe it would work :o)
2006-10-10 08:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by lubeymor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like nostalgia to me. Done the same thing myself. If it didn't work the first time, unless you were too young, the only thing your likely to find out was that you were right in the first place. It s OK to re-establish friendship but not OK to rekindle burnt out coals!
2006-10-10 08:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by The Guru 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not a good idea I think.'cos I did and we left again.We lost everything in our relationships.we haven't seen each other.this very bad believe me :(
2006-10-10 08:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋