Here's the basic scenario, because I know certain factors play into it. He is 36, I am soon to be 30. I was married once before, but have never had a wedding (the first marriage I eloped at a justice of the peace). We are financially stable, my fiance makes the money, not me, I am still barely making it. What is customary to expect from our parents as far as expenses for our wedding? Or are we considered too old to have parents help pay for the wedding.
2006-10-10 08:12:28 · 26 answers · asked by Olive Green Eyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The main thing here is you have been on your own for a while and at least one of you is finaciallly stable. That means your parents shouldn't be expected t pay. However, it would be nice if they offer to pay for some of it.
Also, because it is your second marriage, even if you didn't have the big hoopla weddign the first time, you really shouldn't expect them to pay because it further demonstrates you are "on your own."
Also, as a practical matter, if you and your fiancee pay for everything, you are really in control of all the planning and don't have to yield to any of the typical parental wedding demands. You control the guest list, food, drinks, etc.
2006-10-10 08:25:18 · answer #1 · answered by superchrisw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, traditions don't really apply anymore since so many people are getting married when they are older and more financially stable. Personally, I want my fiancee and I to pay for all of it (he's not overly thrilled with it, but he understands why I feel that way), but my parents want to pay for it. And I'm lucky b/c my sister's wedding gift to me was my wedding dress. So we're going to take it as we go, and play it by ear - I'm 27, my fiancee is 30, and I would much rather my parents put that money away for their retirement than spend it on my wedding.
As far as expectations, it's a mistake to "expect" anything. You need to talk to your parents and see what they are willing and able to contribute. Also, the groom's family is contributing a lot more today than they have in the past. Remember, whoever controls the money ultimately controls the event, so you should think about whether or not you're willing to give that up.
2006-10-10 17:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't "expect" anything. Depending on the relationship you have with the parents, and their financial situation, you may be able to approach your parents, and he - his, and maybe find out what their plans are regarding this. My husband and I just got married, we paid for the wedding (small) and the honeymoon, but his parents gave us a generous wedding gift (a retirement investment). I think, it all depends on the parties involved, but I would say at your age it would be wrong to "expect" anyone but you two to pay for your wedding.
2006-10-10 08:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gee, what happened to being so independent? Especially since this is your second wedding! No, you do not have your parents pay for anything. The two of you are supposedly grown up and on your own - you pay for your own wedding! And, by the way, why are you "still barely making it" at 30? Why aren't you doing financially well at your age? What's up with that?
2006-10-10 10:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are considered too old, and too financially stable, to ask for help with the wedding costs. Plus, parents rarely help with second marriages, even if the first was an elopement.
If they offer, though, you should accept. But don't ask.
2006-10-10 09:20:05 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say considering the relationship of the father and daughter. If there really is no financial need for the father to, I would say it would it would be something that he would be the father's choice. You have been married once before, did he pay then. In your case, I would say the father is not obligated and yes, partly the age of you two, your previous marriage and your husband you say is financially straight.
2006-10-10 08:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by 817_TX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents are under no obligation whatsoever to provide any child, but especially a grown already out of the house child, with anything, including money for a wedding. Your parents might want to help, you never know, but you can't expect it.
2006-10-10 08:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally your parents would have paid for your first marriage. Since you eloped, you missed out. Since this is your second the ball is in your court. Not to say you can't ask for help. They may be willing. You'll just have to ask and find out, but I wouldn't expect it. Anything given would be a gracious gift or a loan.
Congratulations!
2006-10-10 08:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally the parents of the bride pays for the wedding. However, I am getting married and I felt a bit awkward asking my mom to pay for my wedding. Of course she offered, so I told her she could pay for my dress.
2006-10-10 08:32:05 · answer #9 · answered by Buffy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys are a little to old for them to foot the complete bill, but maybe a wedding gift like a cruise or a weekend getaway on the parents of the bride or groom.
2006-10-10 08:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by cooterhead1964 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋