I want to have a baby with my hubby so bad,, I have two daughters already but they are 11 and 13, and by my 1st hubby,,
I want to build our family with my new hubby we have been married for 6 yrs. He says he's too old,, he doesn't think he would be a good dad, ect ect,, I don't know what to do,, I cry everytime I think about not having a child with him,, when I think that I will have to settle for this,, why do I have to settle why can't he just change his mind???
2006-10-10 08:07:01 · 18 answers · asked by B V 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
all very good points and questions,, we didn't really talk alot about much of any thing before we got married,, ( 4 wks between meeting and getting engaged,, and another 6 wks until we were married) no he doesn't have kids with any of his ex's and NO IT"S NOT the child support daddy#1 pays cuz he does't pay much at all.
Thanks everyone
2006-10-10 08:51:17 · update #1
sounds like you are going through what many women go through when their children start growing up. Heck, my mother-in-law wants another baby now that her youngest is 14, and she has 2 grandchildren. It's normal, but if he does not want another one, you shouldn't pressure him to have one. This leads to resentment later on down the road when he wants to do something he can't because of the baby. This is not healthy for your marriage.
Your only options are to either poke holes in your condoms/stop taking birth control, which I strongly do not recommend because you will have sacrificed your marriage for a baby, get a mediator/counselor to help you work out the conflict, convince him somehow, or to learn how to deal with it.
2006-10-10 08:12:19 · answer #1 · answered by mountain_laurel1183 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The important question should be Why do you want a baby so much? Is it because babies are cute and cuddly, because you want him to have an offspring, or is it because you feel the need to raise another child. if it is the latter, perhaps you could switch jobs and babysit for a living, or if the former, look into a vollunteer job in the neonatal unit of a hospital where you would sit holding ill and abandoned babies. If it is because you want him to have offspring, then obviously, he doesn't. He considers himself the parent of your daughters. Have you considered everybody's opinion in the matter, I'm sure your daughters won't look foreward to having a new baby usurping their place in your life. You could just be patient, and wait a few years, when you will become a grandmother, and will get to help raise your grandchildren.
2006-10-10 08:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by judy_r8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be disappointing to you that he does not want to have a child with you but if he has honestly stated that he does not think he will be a good and he feels he is too old then you should let sleeping dogs lie. You wouldnt want to have your child suffer just so that the two of you have a common bond would you? I think it is best that you accept his feelings and not push the issue. He has the right to his feelings as well.
2006-10-10 08:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he thinks he won't be a good dad...is he good with your two daughters?!??! Maybe he's scared, maybe he just doesn't want to have kids. You need to sit down and have a long chat with him and find out why he feels this way. Hope you want more kids and not just to build a family...cause you married him, honey, you ARE family!
2006-10-10 08:10:48 · answer #4 · answered by zoe and skylar's mommy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he said no! be happy with the two kids you have. children do NOT bond a couple more tightly... OR make a family!
look on the bright side, he has no problem helping you raise the 11 & 13 year olds! COUNT YOURSELF BLESSED in that!
2006-10-10 08:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i can understand why you want to have his child. He might change his mind. I have 2 kids from my previous marriage and when i met my 2nd husband he didnt want any kids...and now we are trying to conceive. Tell him how important it is to you. I wonder what makes him think he wont be a good dad. Good luck.
2006-10-10 08:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by Sum12Love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's scared because he sees how much child support dad #1 pays.
2006-10-10 08:16:11 · answer #7 · answered by Wurm™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did this come as a surprise to you? What position did he take when you discussed having more kids, prior to getting married?
2006-10-10 08:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him exactly what you told us, if you haven't already. If he really does not want to then you should not force him to. There are plenty of people that have written to Yahoo Answers about problems stemming from forcing their will on another.
2006-10-10 08:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you husband says he doesn't think he will be a good dad, listen to him. You have two daughters. Be thankful. Am wondering if your husband has sufficient sperm count to impregnate you.
2006-10-10 08:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋