my childs father walked back into our lives after 11 years, of nothing 4 months ago, we slept together a few times, I told him it had to end because his relationship with his child should come first, and you guessed it, when i called it off he walked away again, and has has no contact with his child since, why, I love this man so much and he said he had changed and yet its the same lies again and again, my child just wants a dad, is it to much to ask, really?
2006-10-10 07:57:14 · 14 answers · asked by trouble 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would let him go and move on - if he hasnt changed any in 11 years then he aint gonna change at all. It sounds harsh but he obviously doesnt care for his child if he had no contact for 11 years. You will only cause suffering for yourself and your child if you let him walk in and out as he pleases - your child will suffer every time he/she sees you suffer and each time dad walks away will hurt them too. As I say move on and try to find someone who will love you and your child as you deserve.
2006-10-10 08:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeap - he has only one thing on his mind.
I am confused why you say you love him. He walked out of your lives - he doesn't care about you or his child --- only about himself and his physical needs.
One word: 'selfish'.
Here's another: 'self-centered'
And he lies, too? (Not surprised to hear.)
So you are 'in love' with a selfish, self-centered liar who doesn't care about the mother of his child, or his own flesh-and-blood? Sorry, but you are confusing 'love' with something else. Love is when you care about someone, other than yourself.
He doesn't love you. He only loves himself.
Sorry, but that is the sad truth. You are deluding yourself by thinking there is something 'there' when there is really nothing.
You say that your child needs a stronger male presence. Is there an uncle available? What about a Big Brother situation? Perhaps a youth sports team?
I wish you and your child well.
2006-10-10 08:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by Tom-SJ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He used you can you not see this he was horny and you were on offer.Its nice for all children to have a father I know exactly how you feel because my kids have no father in their lives,but do you want a dad for your child who comes and goes as he pleases,move on heck you should have by now,you dont love him you want him only because he is your childs father
2006-10-10 20:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh some men are just born twats and nothing will change them! My eldest sons dad is a waste of space too, he even forgot his birthday last week, for the second year running!
I know how terrible this makes you feel cos you don't want anyone to hurt your child. You will just have to reassure your son as best you can, tell him that it's no reflection on him, its not his fault etc. He will see for himself when he is older what a tosser his dad is. Stay clear of him, good luck :)
2006-10-10 08:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Fairy Nuff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For the father, yes. He wants to accept no responsibility for his actions but he wants to make more "actions" that he won't have to take responsibility again. My advice for you and him, me might change but the most likely chance is he won't. I'm not saying to move on but you need to realize that he might never change and to find someone that your some can have as a father figure. Maybe even start dating. That might give him some hope too.
2006-10-10 11:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by rowlann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are better off without him. Someone who is willing to mess with your feelings, desert his child fo rthe second time, and not seem to give a toss is not worth the spit on the bottom of your shoe.
There is someone out there for you - someone who cares for you, shoews you affection, is loyal to you and is great with your son. You may not meet him tomorrow, or next month, maybe not even this year, but i hope you meet him soon, and I hope he makes you blissfully happy (and your ex extremely jealous of what he threw away TWICE!).
Good luck
2006-10-10 08:12:43 · answer #6 · answered by silversilver3 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
MY VIEW IS ARE YOU 4REAL, YOU SLEPT WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!
god almighty girl, you need your backside kicking. some blokes just go around drifting in and out of peoples lives, and what do they get for they trouble, bedded a few times, they make me sick, they have no respect for anyone they open there mouth and it's nothing but b*llshi*, there are decent blokes out there, but seems to me all you woman want are the prats of this world. don't worry i will just sit here on the shelf in anticipation that some one will decide one day they want a nice man...
2006-10-10 08:44:52 · answer #7 · answered by staff, 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he resurfaced after 11 years then I'd suggest that it probably wasn't the sex that was pulling him back.
He was probably on his way from somewhere to somewhere else and you just happened to be a convenient resting point in the journey.
Sorry to say but you've picked a dud one there.
Move on and pick a chap who can be a decent role-model ofr your child.
2006-10-10 10:19:55 · answer #8 · answered by CeeVee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be genetically the child's father, but do you think he would be the ideal father for the child to grow up with?
2006-10-10 08:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by netwalker01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You silly tart, if their relationship if so bloody important to you then why did you sleep with him until you knew his intentions? You have only yourself to blame. It is obviously too much to ask of him. If he could walk away the first time and came back but not for his child then he should never have been allowed back in at all.
2006-10-10 08:03:27 · answer #10 · answered by MGN2006 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋