She was married in the Roman Catholic church. She drunkenly cheated on her husband of 15 years or so right away with a bunch of his friends (before the boys were born), then she cleaned her act up. Also he physically hit her on multiple times and used to always go out late and drink. Then he a few yars ago cheated on her, but a full blown affair and has been with that new girl to this day and they want to get married. So my girl filed for divorce and got it. but I started a friendship with this mom of 3 boys who was not yet divorced from her husband but they had been seperated. Then we started sleeping together. She cheated on me multiple times and I cheated once on her a month ago. We have broken up and gotten back together multiple times. We also live together with her 3 boys who every other weekend spend it with their dad. So that is the basic situation. My question is - In the eyes of God through the Orthodox church, could we be married? Could our relationship become moral?
2006-10-10 07:11:31 · 13 answers · asked by dviper84 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
First and foremost cheating is cheating, no matter if full blown affair or one night stand. There is no difference. It is all sin (disobedience)in Gods eyes.
Just from reading what you have written there seems to be a lot of justification going on. God does not accept justification of sin either (the book of Romans will clear that up for you).
Your girl was married, but now divorced. The act of divorce is not the sin that is in the way. Divorce may sometimes be needed and the reasons vary, but physical abuse would be a reason that a woman would need to get away from her husband.
Now, here comes the hard part. Your girlfriend has to look past her actual acts of disobedience to Gods word and look into her heart. What she sees inside herself is what God already knows and what he looks at. If her heart is the heart of an adulterer, not a one time mistake, but a continued pattern of adultry in her heart.
She would need to acknowledge this and actively work on removing this sin from her heart. Only God can help her overcome this fleshly desire, without him she is doomed to repeat this behavior over and over.
You would have to also look inside your own heart for these very same things. Two people who have adultry in their hearts will only serve to hurt each other over and over again.
Certain sins can be repented of and forgiven, but cannot be rectified. Adultry is one of them. Neither one of you can make what has happened go away, but after a search of your heart, you can turn away and vow neve to repeat such behavior with Gods help.
Only God could let you know if at some point either one of you could actually make a vow to Love only each other and forsaking all others. This could take a very long time to accomplish.
Clean up your act, get back on Gods path for your life and follow where and how he leads you. He may not lead you the way that you are thinking , but he will lead you in the path that you need.
If nothing else, read your own question and see how sex outside of a committed marital relationship can get so hopelessly confusing and messed up.
My personal advise would be to move out, stop haveing sex and start the relationship out the way God intended. That would be a true test of your commitment to God and each other. Can you see yourselves together without sex? If not, then you shouldnt be together. Sex is a very small part of total marital committment, it is more like the prize inside the cereal box, not needed to live, but very much enjoyed and wanted.
2006-10-10 07:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that your relationship could ever be moral in the eyes of the Orthodox church God. I'm pretty sure that you know what divorce means; according to your religion. I would toss you out of my church for not even trying to act right. At least make an effort!
Why do you even want to be married. Neither you or, the still married woman, has any respect for marriage and neither of you is capable of maintaining a commitment. If i was a priest, I would refuse to marry either of you to each other; or any other person.
2006-10-10 07:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by limendoz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just forget about religion and get married!!! You seem to not be able to go on without each other so use your moral judgement. I do have a religion but I think sleeping with a woman and not being married is a worse sin than getting married, but I've never heard oof marriage being a sin. Atleast, when you die, you could tell God that you did the best he enabled men to do.
2006-10-10 07:41:07 · answer #3 · answered by Haadeeyah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no gods, and therefore no god's eyes to be immoral in front of. Marriage is just the formalization of a romantic relationship. You don't get redeemed in any way because of who you hook up with. There is nothing inherently moral or immoral about being married.
If you've found someone you are compatible with, go with it. Find your own way and your own happiness in life. For the relationship to work, make sure you both have the same expectations for the relationship. If both of you like to swing, then say so upfront instead of going behind each other's backs. Keep lines of communication open. That will make your relationship more "moral", IMO, than any church doctrine. In short, you two should be true to each other to make the relationship work. You should establish the common morals that you two can live with in your relationship. It doesn't really matter how that fits into anybody else's idea of morality because they aren't the ones you have to answer to in the relationship.
If the relationship isn't working, for whatever reason, don't think that marriage will shore up any problems. They'll still be things you have to work out with your partner.
2006-10-10 07:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by nondescript 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
In Jesus' eyes, you can be married and be moral. He wishes you to be married, as it says in His Word, the Bible. You both need to not cheat on one another after you are married, that is a fact. After marriage, both seek the Lord. Find a good Bible teaching church and go as a family. The Lord will bless you.
2006-10-10 07:23:27 · answer #5 · answered by jworks79604 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Here's what a priest will tell you: stop sleeping together, stop sleeping with other people, separate for a little while, both of you come to confession, come to church regularly, come to pre-marriage counselling, and then you can get married.
With repentance and sincere desire to mend your ways, nothing is impossible. Step number one is to talk to your priest about it. Totally honestly and openly, tell him everything. Trust me -- he's heard worse -- no need to be embarrassed. Just make it clear you guys want to straighten out and fly right.
2006-10-10 07:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about God's view, but it doesn't sound to me like this woman has any intention of every having only one man. She likes to play, and I'm sorry, but marriage didn't change it with her ex-husband, and its not gonna change if she marries you. If I were you, I'd run fast and far.
2006-10-10 07:21:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your relationship is not even based on anything firm. You guys should try and fix your own problems, that will lead you to the path of a moral marriage.
2006-10-10 07:17:29 · answer #8 · answered by topher 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it would make more sense just to allow eachother to sleep around with others, since it's obvious you both want to anyway.
2006-10-10 07:14:56 · answer #9 · answered by lenny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, confess your sins and ask God to forgive you. God is perfect at forgiving and forgetting.
2006-10-10 07:15:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋