My 6 yr old pulled down the pants of the 4 yr old boy who lives next door and "kissed" his privates. He has never walked in on us in a sexual act and we don't have porn hanging around. I asked him where he would get an idea like that but he just says he "doesn't know". Is this normal? Should I be terrified?
2006-10-10 06:42:48 · 13 answers · asked by goodgirl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
this is normal for kids ages 2-8 what ever you do stay calm and dont ponish for natual couriosity just tell him that, that is his private spots that only him,mommy,daddy, and the doctor can see and touch and that its okay to touch himself but in private this should cover it all
2006-10-12 11:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by chuy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Looking is perfectly normal... but kissing others privates is not. He has seen this behavior somewhere... maybe not from you and your husband, but somewhere. I would talk to him very calmly and ask him again where he learned this. I would let him know that he is not in trouble for what he did, but that he needs to understand personal space and boundaries (obviously said in a way a 6 year old can understand). Again, ask him calmly where he saw that and ask him if he has any questions about it. If you approach it calmly, he will be much more likely to tell you. Also let him know that if he is being touched in that way, that it is not his fault and he needs to tell.
You can also get with the guidance counselor at his school or go to an outside counselor for more information and to have them talk to your son. They are experienced in these matters and may be able to figure out what is going on with him.
Good luck with this.
2006-10-10 14:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by just me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. It's natural for small children to explore. Freaking out will only confuse your son, because he won't understand what's wrong. Simply explain that it's ok to be curious, but people usually keep their privates to themselves. There was no sexual motive behind his actions, just curiosity, so you shouldn't worry.
I'm pretty sure he truly "doesn't know" where he got the idea from. If he was exposed to inappropriate material he would have a physical thing to point to. Since his sense of self is still developing, he is unable to understand that the idea was his own.
2006-10-10 21:53:26 · answer #3 · answered by Michaelsgdec 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he was just "experimenting" sexual devlopment doesn't start till aroun 12 or 13, at least for my kids it didn't. So I doubt that there is anything to worry about YET.
I would discuss what he did and with your son. Be calm. He needs to know that no matter what happend what he did was wrong and not a good thing. He probably said he didn't know because he thought he was going to get punished for his actions.
2006-10-10 13:47:44 · answer #4 · answered by mikeae 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very concerned. Do you have baby sitters?
A similar problem came up in day care with a 6 and 4 y/o and the problem was traced to the baby sitters actions with her boyfriend and what they were watching on TV.
2006-10-10 13:46:54 · answer #5 · answered by noice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to ask yourself is "who do you leave you child alone with?" No kid I ever knew did that without learning it from somewhere. The first thing you should do is take him to his pediatrician so he can be examined for possible abuse and explain what happened. It could be nothing or it could be worse. Better safe than sorry! Wish you the best of luck with this situation.
2006-10-10 13:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by princesschubbybutt 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that this is normal? But I am not sure. Being a mom myself I would be worried too and find out where he saw this done, maybe someone who has babysat him is watching something inappropriate or god forbid someone has hurt him. Although you cannot be 100% sure he has not seen you and your husband doing something it is possible he has seen it and you do not realize it. I would talk to a professional and see if they can help you get to the bottom of it
2006-10-10 13:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by rye252000 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Every child shows their friends their privates like that. Not sure about the kissing though. Kids usually just look..not touch. Tell him that he isn't to touch other people's private areas and if they touch his private areas then he needs to come and tell you.
2006-10-10 13:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
they saw it somewhere, you need to address that issue right away that would bother me a whole lot
2006-10-10 13:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by Jesselyn W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should be concerned, perhaps he has been abused-ask more questions-but don't scare him-make it clear you won't be angry and that it is safe to tell you.
2006-10-10 14:09:03 · answer #10 · answered by Jep 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋