I think that my marriage is doomed and it is like God has put someone in my life that I would be more compatible with and no matter how much I pray about it or work on it I can't get this person out of my mind. I feel like I have done what I am supposed to do with my current situation and it is time for me to move on...how do I know for sure what God wants me to do??? I have biblical grounds for divorce I just don't know what is the right thing?
2006-10-10 06:40:57 · 22 answers · asked by bamachick 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
More Details: Married for 8 years. 2 kids. .
I don't feel like I make my husband happy Husband was not a christian when we married but has since found christ in his life. He isn't the spiritual leader of our family and it bothers me. We have had probs in the past where I should have divorced him but stayed for whatever reason.
Now I have been introduced to someone whom I am much more compatable with and I want to know where God wants me to go with it. When I pray I come up with what I think are crazy answers (like he can't have kids and I am supposed to have his baby)
2006-10-10 06:50:57 · update #1
This is my opinion with out knowing all the facts. Biblical grounds- does that mean adultery-- spousal abusive- a non-believer spouse ? God hates divorce,His ideal marriage is to love one another above self, the joining together by your conventant, vows, makes you as one. God seeks to have Godly offspring. [Read Malachi 2 : 15-17 ]
Have you children together? Even more reason to fight for your marriage. Children are worth the effort it takes to keep their home together. Children are hurt the most,and lose the most, no matter how old they are.They suffer in ways you can not imagine. They will lose a sense of security and feel betrayed.They will have a distorted view of God the Father. Again provided they are not suffering abuse mentally & phyiscal abused or sexual abuse.
The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.And the grass still needs cut. The other person will be on your side and massage your ego. But, until you have given 100% to your marriage & or family, the same problems in your marriage will show up in this new relationship. You have unfinished business, you have no right to move on until you have dealt with this business, and have complete closure/or renewal with the marriage at hand. It is not fair to you or the other person. They should not be involved in YOUR marriage. You will also need to grieve for the failure of this marriage for whatever the reasons are,if you do decide to divorce. You have suffered a lose & just like a death you need to honor that,grieve that, for however long that takes,before you move on & bring someone new into your life.
Read the whole book of Hosea, it's a story of a marriage that Gomer brings such shame upon her, her marriage, & life.Like Gomer, we have justifable reasons, we think, to turn away and play the harlot, and we only lose apart of ourselves. What Hosea & Gomer had together was symbolic of the relationship of God & His people. The meaning is profound for all that love God. God Himself paid the price to redeem His people, demonstrating that the aim of His love is reconciliation, restoration and forgiveness.
I am not trying to judge you, I have been divorced with children & honestly I wish someone would have talked to me,and forwarned me about how hard& hurt my children would suffer, even 12 years later, no matter how I tried to justify my deceision, no matter how I believed it would be better for them. It was not,And I wish I would have tried to remember the good things about my spouse that brought us together and worked from there. My children deserved the extra effort to try to reconcile.I may have been justified for the divorce, but I got no real satisfaction, because of the hurt we caused the ones I love so much. I wish I would have thought harder & tried harder for their sakes. Before I moved on. Would it have been better? I don't know, I am Happy now, but a what expense?
Please read Hosea and pray about your situation. God did not bring someone else into your life at this time, you have unfinished business to take care of, And be fair to yourself. Who loves divorce & destruction &alienation ? satan, don't be fooled.
God Bless You on whatever road you walk.
2006-10-10 10:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by Faith walker 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do think God puts certain people in our lives -- however, I also believe that God may be putting them there for testing us as well as blessing us.... also, I believe that God allows Satan to tempt us and our faith and morals we receive through being Christians is tested and hopefully will come out stronger. No one can tell you whether or not to divorce your wife, but let me tell you from experience -- the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. Whatever you do -- don't cheat on her.... and if you do decide to divorce... you simply won't know what will happen and how you'll feel. I left my husband for a similar reason and now I'm remarried -- and in hell. Absolute hell. I believe if you pray enough, God will give you a release in your heart with what you're supposed to do -- but I also believe that God does not condone divorce and hopefully you talk to a minister or someone who can help you and your wonderful wife through this....
2006-10-10 06:47:09 · answer #2 · answered by Ducky S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide this. If it is biblically okay to divorce your husband and you have prayed and really tried then maybe but I am for marriage and you need to make sure that this is what you want. The man on your mind, is it about lust? If so, you already know that is wrong. We always want what we don't have. Is there any way to make your marriage work? You can email me if you would like.... maybe I can help? lol
guy198, that is not true. You can remarry on the grounds of adultery.
2006-10-10 06:46:11 · answer #3 · answered by cking_pOise... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God would never bring another woman into your life to take you away from your wife. Do not divorce, it may not be God putting her in your like, but the enemy tempting you, making it look like it could be better with someone else. If we constantly saw things in other people that we wnated more then what we have, we would never settle down. Work it out with your wife, no matter what it takes. Get this other woman out of your life if she is a temptation for you to cheat.
2006-10-10 06:43:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might try praying that GOD'S will be done. When you pray must people pray for what they want,not what God wants you to do. God put certain people in our life's to learn from and grow. But if this person does bad/evil then one must ask is this person from God or Lucifer?If something/someone rips things up, they are not of God.
2006-10-10 06:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God puts certain people in our lives for a reason that we may not know for awhile. I know it sucks but the lesson could be for you not to be discouraged that you gave so much of yourself to this person. Another lesson could be that you can't have your way all the time, control is not yours in a lot of cases (I know that sucks), it could be a lesson you keep repeating of you need to know when to let go of toxic people. Are you doing things to get this person to love you the way you love them? It could be the lesson of even though these people keep taking from you & using you for whatever reason they have, maybe the lesson is to not stop trying with the next one, not be discouraged to love or do things for someone new. God could be bringing these people to you to help them with a struggle in themselves that you aren't aware of. I know it hurts, I've been there and am there right now with someone too. Don't lose your trust in God, I know its cliche, but He doesn't give us things we can't handle - I know it doesn't help to hear that either. All this you're going thru has an end to it, it will make you stronger, it will make you wiser, it will help you see how not to repeat the same things with the same kind of person over and over again. You may not see what you need to learn yet but you eventually will when you start to make changes to how you deal with those that take and give back. Maybe the lesson is about generosity who knows but try to take comfort that this pain will pass & you're not the 1st or the only one who's gone thru it; I know it feels like it but you're not alone in it.
2016-03-28 03:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he does! But how do you know this person is of God????
Do you attend church regularly? Are you plugged in and receiving his word?Have you and your spouse had any counseling? Just make sure you have done everything in your power to make this work...Remember, we have free will and sometimes we act on feelings and what we see. That is not what our faith is about.
A wise man put it this way: "He who trust in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered." Proverbs 28:26
My prayer for you is that you act wisely and do not have regrets later that will effect your future.
2006-10-10 07:01:47 · answer #7 · answered by kymmy_kins 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
everything happens for a reason, remember even if you do what you have to do it has already been written by god. Every step you take god already knew about it. God made you and your spiritual mind so what you decide is what god has decided for you. It is very hard to talk about. God is always one step a head of you . He knows what you think, what you are, what you do. He knows the future so what you decide god already knew that it was going to happen. God makes you steps everyday. Believe me. It is distended to happen.
2006-10-10 06:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything in life happens for a reason, what is that reason you'll find out sooner or later...
Believe me...
What you need to do is just go with the flow...
Once the time comes that you make the decision you will exactly know what you need to do!!!
2006-10-10 06:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jax4all 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God is not responsible for the breakdown of your marriage.
Nor, can you use God as an excuse to rescind on your marriage commitment.
If you choose to end your marriage, at least take personal responsibility for your actions.
2006-10-10 06:47:01 · answer #10 · answered by limendoz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋