Do I leave my boyfriend or alone or keep trying to fix things?

Question

My boyfriend and I have known each other and have been off and on for 5 years. Lately, he always has an attitude with me and is always so upset. We fight and argue a lot and when things do start to get better, we end up arguing over something stupid which just escaltes into something big and starts his attitude all over again. I ask him what the problem is and he tells me I don't listen to him, but when I do, he just stays mad. Whenever I try to tell him how I feel about things, he just gets upset and comes back at me with stuff instead of addressing the things I'm saying to him. I hate the way he acts towards me whenever he gets mad about something, he's a whole different person, he's like Dr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me, but it seems like it's so hard for him to be nice and show it.I love him with all my heart, but I don't know if I should keep trying to talk to him and keep trying to work things out,or just leave him alone and see what happens

Answer 1

leave!

Answer 2

I submitted this answer to a similar question, and it might help

For whatever reason, he is in a bad place right now. Maybe his life isn't what he expected it to be, maybe he is getting harassed at work. Either way he is feeling insecure right now and when we feel insecure we either ‘flight or fight’. We either lash out at everyone and become mean or we sulk and feel sorry for ourselves. He is probably dealing with something he doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you about. It is common, his ego will be kind of hurt if he turns to you for help. And it doesn’t mean he is keeping something from you like adultery or anything like that, but be careful. Basically he is experiencing a moment of weakness when he lashes out at you, and you need to be strong enough to see his weakness and not an attack on you. The solution is to offer your unconditional love, tell him you don’t like the way he is talking or acting and if there is something else he wants to talk about, you are always there for him. But be careful, his ego may be blaming you for his bad place, but remember even if he blames you, he is just looking for a source for his pain. That is why some men cheat, they think there life was supposed to be different and since it is not, it must be because their wife and getting a new woman is the answer.

So good luck and remember, giving love and being there to help is never the wrong choice.

Answer 3

That is a very good question. My honest opinion is to think about what is going to cause an argument first. Really think. Then if its something that eating at you ask. You are an adult and it makes no sense to be afraid to speak your mind. When he gets in his moods just say lets talk and let him do all the talking. Then he will get it off his chest. After that then you talk and be honest about how you feel when all of this happens. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I'm in the same situation that you are I think that you should move on. I think that because it's been a relationship of years we are more use to them than in love maybe I'm wrong but sometimes that's the case. Maybe you are just confused and if you don't like to be treated like that look for someone else or try being alone for some time and have fun maybe you will like it if you haven't given yourself some time for yourself

Answer 5

I will tell you that love is hard sometimes; but it shouldn't be as hard as what you're going through. Sounds to me like he has his own issues & you're the closest person to him so you're the one who catches the slack. He needs to deal with what's bothering him; maybe he has some unresolved issues with his past. Whatever it may be, he needs to move on & live life to the fullest each moment. It's up to you on weither or not he's worth sticking it out for. He needs to take some time to fix himself, that's where your problems are coming from....Maybe you can give him some space to figure out his issues. Good luck!:)

Answer 6

We fight over stupid things too. It's normal. You're just learning each other. Even after 5 years. If he can't show you what you need then leave him be. He sounds immature so let him think about it for awhile.

Answer 7

You don't need to take that! I would let him know this is a major issue in your relationship, and you are not going to put up with it. Make sure you don't just end things without trying to fix it, but if he isn't willing to control his anger/attitude... stop wasting your time!

Answer 8

Normally in a situation like this I suggest that you talk to him. However, you said that every time you talk to him he just gets upset so I would leave him. Maybe once you are gone he will get his act together.

Answer 9

I just don't get why people date for so long. Don't you know that men and women don't like each other naturally? Of course you're fighting. Dating is supposed to be fun. This thing you're in doesn't sound like fun anymore. I'd get out.

FP

Answer 10

I hate to say this but you should think about leaving, you are obviously not enjoying each others company, and that is definatly not good in a relationship.

Answer 11

If you go to church, ask the pastor if he would consider counseling the both of you if he agrees ask your boy friend if he'll go. If not he may be having an affair. If not it may be advisable to cut your loss's and move on. Good luck!