I have been dating my GF for 4 months now and I get an uneasy feeling each time she mentions a new guy that she has dated. Is it fine if I just ask her how many guys she has dated and how many she has slept with? Do I have a right to know? I have told her that I have not dated many girls and that I was a virgin when I met her. But she seems uneasy about her situation herself, asking me questions like, what do you consider a lot? And she always gets very defensive when I talk about it, defending herself by saying she is not a s-l-u-t. How do I handle this situation?
2006-10-10 06:28:28 · 17 answers · asked by Koolam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think her current count is 10 people she has dated and 7 who were sexual partners? Do you people consider that a lot? She is 21 years old btw.
2006-10-10 06:34:11 · update #1
We both know we are STD free because we were tested before we slept with each other.
2006-10-10 06:37:26 · update #2
the past is the past. Let it go, it dosen't mean anything at all...she's with you now, right? Being insecure about it can really mess up a good thing though, so just forget about it.
2006-10-10 07:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you do not have the right to know how many previous partners she's had as she doesn't have the right to know how many previous partners you've had.
Perhaps she feels that because you were forthright with her and said that you'd had practiacally no experience before her that you'd think badly of her because she's had more experience.
My BF (now husband) and I had decided to ask no questions of the other about previous relationships beyond the fact that he'd not been seeing anyone for a few years and neither had I.
Our experiences had made us the people we were and what was before was none of our business. Of course, if it involved an STD or child, that's a different case altogether and should be out in the open.
The main thing is do you trust her? Is she faithful to you and you to her? Leave her past be and look to the future.
2006-10-10 13:37:43 · answer #2 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, this is a place that you don't want to go. You dont' want to know the answer to that question. How many would make you not respect her? 2? 4? 40? If the sound of another guy dating her makes you sick at the stomach, then don't ask and ask her not to introduce you to any of her former beaus or lovers. Tell her that you would rather not like to know who she had dated and don't care to meet them. My wife and I almost got a divorce over this very thing. I knew the # and it bothered me. It took years to get over it. I don't care about the # I just never wanted to meet them or be friends with them. This is ok. You just have to let her know. PS- most women who declare they are not s-l-u-t-s usually are. Can you deal with that?
2006-10-10 13:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do you have the right especialy these days you need to know it is only right and she should tell you because you told her. Just ask her and tell her that you will not think less of her. Also there is no need to feel uneasy about it because the past is past and you cant change that.
2006-10-10 13:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by montana_infantry_man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have the "right" to know... You can ask, but if she's uncomfortable with it, why make her even more uncomfortable? You can always ask her to refarin from telling you about her past affairs, she shouldn't be going on and on about these things anyway.
When you both grow up, you will know that it doesn't really matter "how many"; what matters is how compatible you two are.
2006-10-10 13:32:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you don't have the right to ask her about her past. however if you have any concerns about her past sex life, it's really still non of your business but you can ask her to go with you to the board health, so that you both can get checked out. she should not freak out because in today's times we can never be sure, and people are not always honest. i say be safe and the both of you go get checked out for each others sakes, and if she has a problem with that then maybe you should reconsider because sex has to be safe and you should feel comfortable when engaging.
2006-10-10 13:39:10 · answer #6 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes u do have a right 2 know. because she may have contracted a diesease & doesnt even realize she has it . a open relationship asking questions is the only choice!
2006-10-10 13:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Remember that U R sleeping with everyone she slept with
2006-10-10 13:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by special k 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a girl could be retarted and drool and still be able to sleep with 500 guys if she went out to a bar,you see girls getting guys is no big deal but it is a big deal for a guy to get a girl i guess maybe
2006-10-10 13:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by ct r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say yes b/c if ya'll are having sex and it's unprotected and you catch something you know that you got it from her. But you also need to konw b/c it is someone from her past that gave her somthing and now you have it . That is not right.
2006-10-10 13:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by nyjai29909 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋