How do I detach from my own mother?

Question

My mother is a very controlling and manipulative person. the World
pretty much needs to revolve around her. She believed that she
gave each of her children eighteen years and we need to give her that back. My Dad was killed in a car accident 17 year ago. On Sunday, My mom compared me to one of my brothers, Dan. I said
thank you. She said it was not a compiment, he is a self centered
son of a b****. I replied by saying not to call her son that, because that makes her the b****. I preceded to EXPLODE out that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I told her she was self centered, selfish, manipulative and controlling person. It felt good to say all that. Of the converstaion exploded and ended by me saying goodbye and hanging up. She had Knee replacement the next day, I did not go, My other two sisters were there and that was enough. I am tring to detach 100%, buy in my head I have so
many other emotions. I am Happy w/ what I said.

Answer 1

I don't think you need to detach from her completely, it was enough to say what you said. If she doesn't get it now it's too late and it's her loss, stop calling, don't attempt contact, if she wants contact with you, let her make the effort.

Answer 2

I know exactly how you feel. Me and 2 of my siblings dislike my mother. Two are 100% detached from her and I'm on my way. It's hard because that's your mom. Things should not be like that. But it's not healthy and there is not reason to keep going through the abuse. I hope, for your sake, that you detach and seek counseling. Best of luck.

Answer 3

if you truly feel you will be better off without her thenwhat you did was right. however, your mother may have deep seeded issues that she needs help with. perhaps she has never healed from her loss of your father. you may want to try to go to cound\seling with her at least twice b/c once she is gone, she is gone. if she doesn't make any effort to be a better person then you gave it a shot and you shoudl probably move on. but don't abandon your siblings.

Answer 4

I had to stay gone 15 years before I could talk to my mother again. We're still not close, but I'm reasonably sane, which I would not have been if I'd stayed around.

Answer 5

While you feel good by venting out your feelings, you've damaged your relationship with your mom.
I suggest going back and apologize.
Then let her know--without any emotional language--that you'd like to take a step back in the relationship.

Answer 6

Stay away and get yourself healthy

It's OK

You have every right

Answer 7

just cut her off dont talk to her or see her.Thats what i did.if she comes over just dont answer the door.dont answer her calls.

Answer 8

cut the cord! and move out ! ur old enug.

Answer 9

You do what you have to to make yourself happy.