Is self-loathing a normal side effect of post partum depression? Please help, I'm so sad all the time.?

Question

I've been having a very hard time dealing with post partum depression for a long time now - my daughter is almost 8 mos old. I just can't shake this feeling of having no self worth. There are days when I honestly hate myself - I hate looking at myself in the mirror, hate hearing myself speak...I just hate everything about myself.

I have never been this type of person. I've always been very happy & confident. But after I gave birth I just turned into this sad, insecure person who is always down. I've alienatied myself from all my friends cause I'm convinced they don't want to be around me anymore, even though they always call.

My marriage is suffering too. But I just don't know how to get over this. The only source of joy I have in my life is my little girl. She is the sweetest, most wonderful baby and is such a blessing.

I thought of couselling but I can't afford it. I know there's public health, but I'm afraid. What if they think I'm wacko and try to take my baby?

Answer 1

I think what you need to do is really talk with those friends who are reaching out to you. Tell them how you feel. They are your friends and they will understand. Post partum depression is a real phenomonon. I believe you when you say you were not like this. I have an eight month old daughter as well, so I feel a connection with you. My wife and I prepared for her to have this side effect. It happened in spurts but what I think really helped her was the fact we talked about it in the open and she was able to go through it with her friends and family. So let your husband in. Tell him how you feel as well.

Couselling is alwyas an option, and no one will take her away from you for having PPD. You can always email me if you need to get something off your chest. I will do what I can to help. Its good to let someone that doesn't you whats going on as well.

Heres a Tibetan Story that may put some things into perspective.

The Tibetans believe that life is precious. They tell of a story about an old sea turtle who swims in the ocean. Every 1,000 years that turtle surfaces his head for a moment then goes back under. Now imagine that there is a ring floating on the surface of the ocean. This ring is only 2 foot wide. What are the chances of the turtle surfacing within that ring? How long would it take for that to happen? The Tibetans believe those are the same odds of being granted existance here on our Earth.

You are VERY special. You are a mother and a goddess to a beautiful babygirl. Don't ever give up.

Answer 2

You need to talk to someone and gets some help. Talk to your docter and maybe go see a counsler or something. I have had problems with depresion before I had my daughter and after I had her I was feeling good. But now I have a 10 month old,a6,4,and3 year old boys and am 22 weeks pegnant and my boyfreind (the father of all the kids) is workinng out of town for 2 to 4 months and we only get to see him 8 days a month and its been like this for almost 4 month already. So I kinda know how you feel and all.

Answer 3

i was in the same position exactly as u r now.my son was 21 months old now and i have stopped my medication only a month ago.all u need to do is get some helpfrom ur doc, talk to ur friends abt it,this will soon pass away. i was just the same as u hated my self a lot.i have even thought of hurting myself, ihave even hurted myselfa few times, but as u said it is th love for my sweet son,made and make me live.u browse the net ,there r postpartum suppot groups,u can also go for therapy,so that can bring out everything in u by talking.sharing helps lot than anything else.share u r feelings with ur husbhand r ur close friend ,it will help and go for some anti-deprassants.
good luck for u will be happy again feel life

Answer 4

No honey, it's perfectly normal. See your regular doc about getting on some depression meds. You may find that they help. Every persons PPD is different. Some only suffer a short time, others it can go on for a year or two. It doesn't help to be expected to keep up with baby, house and keep the man happy either. You will get through it, but do see your doc.

Answer 5

Get a hold of someone before you get too much further in. Things you can do that might help? Do something special for yourself. Give yourself a break from baby. Eat healthy and get out in the air and sunshine. Should be able to get hold of a public health nurse or someone along that line who will direct you where you need to go for help. They won't take your baby from you, especially since your anxiety isn't directed at her.

Take a few minutes each day and smile at yourself in the mirror. Smiling releases good hormones. You'll be fine. Be proactive.

Answer 6

there are thousands of women going through this exact phase as u. first of all u should seek medical help. from the sounds of it, trying to battle this on ur own may not be wise to continue.forget what people will have to say. u not being the first to go through this just shows that u are not wacko. this could turn into something more serious than it is and i doubt u would want that. please consider public health if u cant afford a counsellor

Answer 7

No one's going to think you're a wacko, and you're certainly not alone. Talk to your doc about going on an anti depressant for a little bit, and try to incorporate something into your life that's just for you, that makes you feel really good. Also, try taking up yoga. It releases wonderful endorphins, slims and strengthens your bod, and puts your head in a healthy place!

Answer 8

Honey, no-one will take your baby because you have post natal depression.
That won't happen.
I think that you need the counselling, and you are smart to have thought of it. Please talk to your doctor about getting some help- you owe it to your daughter to be the best you can be, and she won't be taken away from you.
Talk to your friends and your husband, tell them how you are feeling too. It's scary, but once people know what you are going through, they will be able to help.
Please, talk to someone.

Answer 9

Honey, you need to see someone. You can't just wait and see. You could end up hurting yourself or your baby. Believe it or not, your baby girl knows that something's wrong. They have a sixth sense about that stuff. If you don't see someone for yourself, do it for you little girl. She wants to see her mommy happy. If you have to go see public health, do so. They won't ever try unless they feel you're a true threat and it sounds like you're not. You just need to figure out what's going on. You'll be okay, hun. Just go see someone. It'll help. I promise.

Answer 10

you need to find help. Talk to your doctor about it. And noone will think you are 'wacko'--seems post partum depression can get pretty awful for some people! Ask your doctor!!