How to get my BF to lose weight?

Question

My bf is a big dude. He is really tall, like 6'7", and weights 280lbs. I want him to be healthy and obviously look good too! He breathes really loudly, sweats a lot, and his back hurts all the time. It's not healthy for him to be this big. Although he is really tall, his bones are fairly small and he has a small frame. Before we started dating, he was an athlete, really thin and in excellent shape. He use to play basketball and surf all the time, but now he can't. I like him regardless, but I just want him to be healthy and to be able to do some fun physical activities with him like go bike riding. How do I tell him, without hurting his feelings, that he needs to lose weight. I want to help him and support him as much as I can. What should I do?

Ok...just so EVERYONE out there knows....I don't want him to go on some weird diet plan. I want him to exercise and eat healthy food...you know the old fashioned, healthy way. Also, what type of exercise should he do since he is so big?

And...just to put some more fuel into the fire...we tried to go shopping last week and he couldn't find any clothes to fit him. This isn't a good sign. I'm worried.

Answer 1

Tell him the exact way you just stated. You're concerned about his physical health and that you want to support him to lose weight. You two can get gym memberships together, or start checking each others calorie levels. Etc.

Answer 2

280lbs is not exactly "fat" for a 6'7 guy. You need to be very careful on expressing your motivation here. Also the whole "small bones, small frame" thing just doesn't work. The part about breathing really loud, sweating a lot and back hurting can all be conditions that have nothing to do with his weight. Many athletes have serious knee and back problems long after they have retired. All the running and jumping did a number on the joints and cartilage. Best thing you can do is tell him you are worried his health may be declining and suggest he see a physician for a full check up. Let the physician do the rest.

Answer 3

Tell him that you love him and that you don't want to see him die from a heart attack. He needs to be told whether or not his feelings get hurt. Also offer a solution. It has to be a solution that doesn't require a lot of change at first.

Here is my story: I had a friend call me and tell me that I needed to try a weight loss system and an energy drink. She knew I was diabetic and she informed me that a lot of diabetics were using the energy drink because it had 5 carbs and 22 calories and no sugar. Anyway, in order to appease her, I signed up online and ordered the weight loss system and the energy drink. I told her I would try it for 10 days. Well, after 10 days and 8 pounds less went by, I was hooked. I have never felt better in my life.

I now have lost 33.5 pounds since then and have changed my life. I now walk 5 miles from Monday-Thursday and 10 miles on Friday and Saturday. Why do I walk this much? It is because I can and it feels good and I have the energy to do it.

I have journaled my weight loss on a blog. You can get to it at http://www.geocities.com/pktull

If I can be of further assistance, let me know.

[e-mail]
http://www.geocities.com/pktull

Answer 4

Once he is aware that you feel that he needs to lose weight, regardless of your concern for his health, it will occupy his mind as an issue of you viewing him negatively and most likely bring him down rather than motivate him to become active. I would recommend that you take an indirect approach and suggest that YOU have been interested in getting outside or to the gym and getting involved in some fun, active activities and you'd really like it if he joined you. He's more likely to be responsive to you asking him to be your partner in an activity than you telling him he needs to get out and get active. It's hard to get motivated! Especially when you feel like the alliance you should have in your partner is lacking because you aren't pleasing them. It's much easier to become and stay motivated when you have someone to work with, encourage you, and make things enjoyable. Once you two develop a routine of exercising together, he will probably enjoy the benefits he is reaping from it.

Do keep in mind that 280lbs is not an unusual weight for 6'7. My "little" brother is 17 and 6'6 and weighs near that amount and does not have an overweight appearance. Men of that height tend to have large statures and it is easy for them to put weight on, especially if they once maintained a large amount of toned muscle. Just be patient with him:)

Good Luck! :)

Answer 5

There is NO good way to tell a boyfriend or a girlfriend to lose weight, even if you have the best intentions for them (better health, more stamina, look better, great self-esteem, etc.) The best thing to do is encourage him to be active again, but you have to be careful that this doesn't work against you. If you encourage him to be active by asking him to do things with you like walk or take a bike ride, don't refrain from these activities if he decides he doesn't want to do it. See how it could turn around and bite you? He may end up dragging you down. So stick to your guns, be active, and keep inviting him to do active things with you. Good luck!

Answer 6

you don't say why he gained so much weight. That has to be taken into consideration. You say he used to be very active, and now "he can't". Did he gain the weight because "he can't", or is the weight gain why he is suddenly sedentary?
The only way to lose weight is to eat fewer calories than you burn. He has to want to. You can't make him. You can tell him that obesity is a leading cause of diabetes, heart disease and ultimately death, you can tell him you want him to be healthy so he is around for a long time. But ultimately, the decision rests with him as to whether or not he will actually do what it takes to lose weight.

Answer 7

If someone told you you were fat and needed to go on a diet you'd be hurt and upset--even if you were fat and you knew it. It's very touchy. Most likely you will end up hurting his feelings and hurting your relationship.
Since it seems like all the weight gain has come during your relationship, look at what you do together. Obviously he has changed his lifestyle to be with you. You need to encourage him to go back to what he used to do, even if it doesn't include you.
If you are right on his height and weight, his BMI is 31. That's one point into obese. That's hardly the picture you paint of him.

Answer 8

just tell him what u said that u are concerned and u dont want anything bad happening to him and the main thing is if he does diet make sure to support him becuz is will be hard for him and thanx for answering my question and one more thing about it u were talking about push and pulling my hair with the brush do i just go back and forth with the brush? u dont have to answer that if u dont want to... lol

Answer 9

You should tell him well if he is your boyfriend, say baby what I'm about to say is coming from my heart so please don't take this the wrong way but you need to lose a couple of pounds because if yo don't you won't ever get to prosper in life and if u just decide to have children u might not ever get to see them because of your weight but no matter what i will still will support you in all that you do. but if he is jot your boyfriend just say the same thing but don't say baby!

Answer 10

well if you really don't want to hurt his feelings at all, wait for him to mention something about clothes not fitting or getting tired. tell him you read in an article that if he works out his back won't hurt. tell him to drink a gallon of water a day. it works.