Anyway, I am engaged to this guy. I had a son prior to our relationship and we have a 3 month old daughter together. My finace is always yelling at my Son who is 3 years old. He told me he doesn't like my son. The way he yells seems so hateful. My son is pretty good for being a toddler. I stick up for my son and keep him always close to me....which infuriates my fiance. He hates that I always have to rescue my son. My finace just recently lost his job (cause it moved overseas) so he stays at home for now and takes care of our daughter. But I have to keep my son in daycare full-time when I am at work....cause I don't want him to continue to treat him like that. He yells at him for EVERYTHING. Then I yell at my fiance to leave him alone. My son seems so depressed and he is only 3. I tell him how much I love him and I give him lots of hugs and kisses. I just feel so bad for him.....his Dad barely see's him....so he probably feels unwanted. What should I do? I can't just leave my fiance, cause I would be homeless with 2 kids.
2006-10-10 05:39:54 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Gosh, I almost cryed reading your story, this is so tough for your son and he only have you to care for him.
Please don´t be afraid and leave this man, there are fifty billion other men in the world, and surely you can find one that will love you and your TWO children as well. Don´t settle for what is left, but look for someone who will make a difference in you and protect and take care of your kids. Please leave this guy, he is not good in any way, how can somebody don´t like a precious healthy three year old, even more somebody who is supposed to love you. Don´t be afraid, yous kids will always look up to you a super mommy who could raise them and make a happy family all on her own, and God will bless you with a happy family, you will see. Never forget, your child only has you to look for him.
And he neeeeeeds you to care, to keep him out of the bad people.
You are the one working, get out of that house, got to a friend´s, family member, or shelter, until you get a place of your own, and I´m sure you will make it!
2006-10-10 09:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by copita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey that has red flags all over the place. I cant even begin to comment on that.
He has already admitted that he DOESNT LIKE YOUR SON and he yells at a small toddler?@!!!
As for being on the street.... do you have family or friends that could help you with a place to stay. You could get assistance from the state - like food stamps and money and just keep saving and get a small apartment .
You arent married yet honey, dont make a BIG mistake
2006-10-10 05:47:18 · answer #2 · answered by ♥kailababy♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is not the right guy for you and your son. I'm sorry to tell you that but it is the truth. When someone falls in love with someone who has kids then they know that the kids are a part of that relationship. For him to say out right that he doesn't like your son and go to the extent that you feel you have to protect your son from him tells me this is a very bad situation. I know it won't be easy but you need to figure out a way to leave your fiance or else these issues will just keep getting worse. As a mom your first responsibility is to protect your kids and provide the best life possible for them. Marrying this man is the direct opposite of that for your son.
2006-10-10 05:44:35 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you are in this terrible situation. First of all, you need to get out of this relationship, if he "does not like" your son, who is only 3, and yells at your son, then this man should not be allowed to be a part of your family. You may have a daughter with this man, but if you are telling the truth, then I have to be honest, you need to start saving some money so you can get out of this relationship!!!!!! I grew up with a step dad who was always partial to my two half-sisters, because they were his. My brother and I grew up in a home full of strife. Constant fighting and defending. My step dad beat my brother when he was 5, not much older than your son. He lost his temper over something insignificant, and in return, my brother was covered in bruises, it only happened once, my mother threatened to kill him,but it never got better. It is not a way to live, you would be doing yourself, and both of your children a favor by getting out.
You can talk to him first, see if he is willing to seek counseling and to make some major changes, if he is unwilling then I only see one answer for you. Though hard it may be. I will pray that you make the best decision for you and your children.
2006-10-10 05:53:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He treats your son like crap! Why is this even a question for you? Your son probably IS depressed, not because of his father not being around much, but because your fiancee is making him feel worthless with the VERBAL ABUSE. Be a real MOM! Do what's right for your son! You need to get your son away from your fiancee ASAP! It sounds like he has some big anger issues that he is more than willing to take out on a three year old. If you keep your son in that situation, you are looking at ensuring a life time of coping problems, along with the possibility of severe mental disorder. This is the time when his brain is still developing fast. Trauma like this, and yes this causes trauma in a young child, could hinder the development of certain brain chemicals that keep us sane.
Talk to your local Family Services. They can give you some options on how to get out. Also, talk to your family and friends. They may be able to let you stay with them until you find another place. File for child support right away. If he is getting unemployment, they will garnish it. You need to get your son out of that situation though. Even check to see if his father will take him temporarily. If you explain the abuse he is receiving, he may be willing to get him out of there until you can get you and your daughter moved. The other option is to kick your fiancee out.
2006-10-10 05:53:41 · answer #5 · answered by Social_D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can just leave him! Move some where else. This guy is treating you kids like 5hit and you are still in that house with him. You better leave or your son will grow up to hate you.
You work, so get another apartment and get child support from you "fiance" dont marry this man who told you that he does not like your son. I'm shocked that you had a child for this @sshole of a man, how you can consider marrying a man who treats your child horribly!
OMG! he is disgusting.
2006-10-10 05:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Melia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, I fear for your son. You as his Mother are the only voice he has. What made you have a baby from a man that has no compassion? How can any human not love a helpless child?If you are stuck with the man, give the child to a family member that really loves him.You can give him up at this age and he will forget about all the cruelty that has been dished out to him.And whoever takes him in will have a little boy to love. Don't be selfish do something for him---be a loving MOTHER
2006-10-10 09:04:39 · answer #7 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for abuse and that is what that is just because it was not this guys kid does not give him the right to hate a perfect child. I am going to give you advise you do not want to hear. STOP, LISTEN, the words you are saying indicate what you know you have to do. A poor boy is better than a dead one and don't think for a minute that it could never happen to you.
Find the closest family member that you could live with and go eat some humble pie and beg them to let you just live with them and pay rent and trade babysitters.
This man doe not love and respect you or he would have married you before he got you pregnant.
Do not go for the promise that he will and has given you that he will marry you. Get out, your boy is who your obligation is to not some despot of a shack up. Take my advise or you will be very sorry.
2006-10-10 05:52:41 · answer #8 · answered by Crockett 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG...I am so sorry that you and your son have to experience this. You're not going to like my suggestion but I'd prepare myself to get you and your kids out of that mess.
Let's look at your potential future...
this continues and your son feels alienated...
your d. senses this (when she is older) and capitalizes on being the favorite...
your son feels further alienated...
he could grow up treating his kids the same way...
one father is not involved and the other hates him he could start looking internally....
you constantly provide the buffer that is going to stress you AND your relationship...
You're far better off working on getting out and hoping he loves hid d. from afar. The strange thing is why you have a kid with him when you see his attitude toward what's right in front of him? If he loves you and wants to be with you he needs to accept BOTH of you. I think you walked into something your senses probably told you many times not to pursue.
So, you asked in the beginning, "why is he like this". It is probably because your son is not his blood. It's a territorial thing. I cannot imagine it is related to behavior because 3 yo is still influential. You can change his behavior.
Now, in his defense, are you the reason why he is like that? Do you allow him input in rearing the 3 yo?
2006-10-10 05:51:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be endangering your son. I would get the heck out of there and be homeless if that is what it takes to save your son. I feel so sorry for your son and the damage that your boyfriend is causing him. I hope that you will do something now, before it is too late. No man would EVER treat my kid that way. He would be gone the first time that happened.
2006-10-10 06:02:12 · answer #10 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋