6 months later and still not over him..what should i do??

Question

My ex boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. The first few months of our relationship were beautiful. After about 3 /4 months he started suggesting that I wear other things, like sweats or a t-shirt. Then about 6 months into our relationship he hit me for the first time. I was stupid and stayed in the relationship after that first time. As a result, I was beat for about a year and a half. I wasn't "allowed" to talk to other guys, or even go over to my best friend's house (she lives next door to me). Basically he wanted me all to himself and didn't want me associating with anyone else for fear that they might find out about him. We broke up after two years because i started being a bitchy gf to get rid of him and so he took up this other girl at his college. That was short-lived cuz he didn't really like her he just needed someone-we still had sex while they were 2gethr. He moved to AL 4 months ago and i havent spoken to him since but all of a suddden i can't stop thinking of him.

I have called him once a day for about a week now and he hasn't picked up once. Despite having his other relationship, his password to AIM is still my name + our anniversary date.

Answer 1

Girl I am right there with you!! My ex and I broke up the first time after 10 months and I moved to GA (he lives in MI) We didn't talk for about 3 months then we started talking again and after another 4 months I moved back to MI. We were together for only 4 months that time and I broke up with him and moved to TX (you would think that with this many states between us I could move on) After about 7 months I moved back to MI again. I currently have a great boyfriend and have had several since we broke up, but I constantly think about him. Although I deny it to my friends and family he has hit me on occasion, but I always seem to rationalize it. I think you should definitely stay away from him, but I do not take my own advice. Maybe try to get in touch with him if for no other reason then to remind yourself why you are not together (i.e. he is a jerk). I would only communicate with him over the phone, because he could become abusive again. Personally I am just shutting mine out of my head. When I think about him I make myself think about the mean things he did to me and it usually helps. All I can say is just be careful, both physically and emotionally, because a bruised heart is just as painful as a real bruise.
Best of luck!!

Answer 2

If you can't stop thinking of him, at least try and remind yourself of the the reasons you are no longer in the relationship. We all crave something familiar from time to time, and if you are not in a relationship right now you are probably feeling that a relationship, albeit abusive is better than none at all. Well, get that out of your head, remember the rules for self preservation, you have to love yourself first and anyone who tries to change you into something that you're not, and tries to keep you from your friends is not worth your time.

You stated that you were still having sex with this person after he was involved with someone else. Please remember that STDs are real and not just urban myths. No man is worth an STD that last a lifetime.

Answer 3

you need to seek therapy....after one allowed his or herself to be beaten/controlled one can develop an acceptance of the bad relationship...this is someone whom you've surrendered your body,emotions and will to... these relationships are often hard to break because the person who has surrendered their will is addicted (like an addict to drugs....you fiend for it and you get addicted to it.)
Don't make excuses for him.... it's not your place to do that...the reason his relationship failed with the other girl has nothing to do with the fact he didn't like her ... he failed to find someone he could manipulate and control/beat (like you).
Being in love is wonderful and it doesn't entitle anyone to beat/control you...no man is so great that you have to endure beatings/manipulations just so you can have a boyfriend... ask yourself this question: :If I had a daughter and she wanted me to pick her out a boyfriend, would I select a man for her like the one I was dating?
Hopefully this will encourage you to seek help and put an end to this destructive relationship you still want to have with a man that abuses.

Answer 4

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