I don't know what to do...?

Question

My Bf wants me to marry him. But My family doesn't really liek him. Can anyone help me with this?

OK, My BF wants to marry me, but my family doesn't liek him. He is a really great guy and yes I do love him. I'm an only child all my friends like him. the main thing is that I'm only 18.

OK, My BF wants to marry me, but my family doesn't like him. He is a really great guy and yes I do love him. I'm an only child all my friends like him. We have not been dating that long but known eachother for what seems like ever. My sister has a reason to hahet him, he is her ex, yes I knew this before we atarted dating and so did he. I want to marry him but I really care what my family thinks. My mom is the one that I really have to get to like him. the reason she hates him is b/c she walked in on us making out on my bed. the main thing is that I'm only 18.

Answer 1

do YOU love him??? do YOU want to marry him? who cares what your family thinks. They don't know what/who is right for you.... YOU do! You can't think about your family when it comes to planning your life with someone else. If you do decide that you want to marry him, it is up to your family to support you and make an effort to really get to know him and to get along with him.

Answer 2

Wait. You are only 18... there is plenty of time for marriage. Stay together, learn more about each other as you grow and mature and then consider marriage. Any boyfriend that is not willing to wait (considering you're only 18) doesn't love you. He should not pressure you into marriage when you are only 18.

As for your family not liking him.. you have to ask yourself WHY they don't like him. Is he a punk? is he not supportive of you? does he have a job? Would the two of you be able to support yourselves financially? Where would you live? Maybe your parents are a little less enthused about your bf because he isn't mature enough. There are a lot of reasons.

I wouldn't say parents are ALWAYS right.. they are not. But oftentimes they do have very good insight. It's always tough to see the problems with your own relationship but other people can.

Answer 3

You can't make them like him.

Here's what I have learned... and man has it been a hard lesson to learn (as stubborn as I am). If my friends and family don't seem to like a guy I am dating there must be a real reason why.

I have been pig-headed and ignored what they have to say and ended up paying for it in the end. (Dated cheaters, etc.)

They might have their suspicions right.

On the other hand, they might be afraid he is going to take you away? Are you an only child, the only girl, or the youngest? If so, it may be a bit of the ENS (empty nest syndrome) creeping in.

It's really hard to guess why the don't like him, from my side; however, if you want to marry the guy, and your family doesn't like him it could make your life a living hell.

So I suggest you sit down and talk to your parents about the situation. Ask them what they think of him, etc. You might just be paranoid.

If all goes well then bring him in for a meeting with them too....

Answer 4

Here's what I think you should do.
1) Talk to your family. Find out why they don't like him. (And I mean talk, not fight with them.) Sometimes, families really do have a good insight into a person. They know you better than anyone else (and for a lot longer than anyone else) and may see reasons why they think he's not right for you. I've dated a lot of losers and whenever my parents didn't like the guy, I would fight them on it tooth and nail. The relationship would invariably end and then I'd come to see what they had seen all along. So, by talking to them, you may understand a little more why they feel this way. Also, they may have the chance to see him through your eyes and possibly grow to like him a little more!
2) Ask yourself this--are you ready to get married? Marriage is a lifelong commitment. You are only 18--you've got a lot of years ahead of you! I'm nearly 30 and finally just ready to get married. I know a lot of people (myself included) who needed to be single in their 20s to find out who they were and what they wanted out of themselves, out of a partner and out of life in general.
3) You say that he wants to marry you. Do you want to marry him? Loving someone and wanting to marry them are two different things. Yes, being in love is definitely a prerequisite for getting married, but it is not the only one.
4) Talk to your boyfriend. Why is he ready to get married now? Is he a lot older than you? Is he afraid you'll leave him while in college and wants to lock you down now before you can run away?
5) Weigh all the factors--positive and negative; including your family's opinion--and then make a decision.

But, THIS IS NOT A DECISION TO BE MADE LIGHTLY! Marriage is serious, sacred and a lifetime commitment. Be certain before you become someone's wife!

Answer 5

OK i know this might sound lame and reality TV sucks but.....if you have ever watch parental control and you are some what young so i think you might have, if not it is a show where parents take their kid on the show and force them to go on dates with other people because they don't like their current bf/gf. well any ways there was a case where this guy went on the show cause his parents hated his gf and at the very end he proposed to her.... and the parents said that they just had to deal... if you have true love... then go with it because there is nothing better than that.. and about being young just have like a one year engagement or however long. my sister got married when she was twenty.... it is all about whether you love each other or not.

Answer 6

First of all, how old are you? If you are young and living at home or in college and dependent on your parents, it would be a much bigger issue than if you are older and self-sufficient.

Honestly, if your family is very involved in your life, it could be a major problem. I am getting divorced after 16 years with my husband. The major issues in our marriage and the basis of every fight that we have ever has has been his family.

If you really love him, have a sit-down with your family and get the issues out in the open now. They won't go away, but only get worse.

Best of luck and I hope this all works out for you!

Answer 7

This is a decision for you, not your family. My parents never like anyone that my sister and I date (even though there is literally nothing wrong with them). So, maybe the question should be - do you want to marry him? Often, families will warm up to the person once they know you are in it for the long haul and are serious about this person.

Answer 8

You're still young. Give it more time. If you're meant to be, you'll still be together at age 21. Then your family has no say on whether you get married or not and you'll be an adult with more experience in life under your belt so you can make a more informed decision.

Answer 9

It's not about your family, It's about you and your happiness. Alot of familes don't like the other man or woman, but they learn to accept this person and move on with their own lives. If this man is good for you why would you want to mess that up by trying to make your family happy by not marrying him????? Your family does not have to live your life. YOU DO.

Answer 10

What's your family's reason for not liking him. If they think he's a great guy, but that you can do better, then that's one thing and you should go with your heart. But if they don't like him b/c he's a jerk to them then that's quite a king sized RED FLAG! IF this is the case they're seeing something that you'll se later.