Recently, I thought I was pregnant. My mother & I are very close so I told her that I might be pregnant.She was so happy! She started jumping up & down & crying! I was so shocked at her reaction (because I am a single mother).When my period came on she was devastated!My problem is I am 33 years old & I I dont know if I want to start over raising kids.I was even more shocked that I was kind of happy about maybe being pregnant, I was ready to deal with it even if I was scared of starting over.I am not married but me & my daughters father are now planning to get married & get or future in order.My sister has an alternative lifestyle so she is not having any kids.My mother says that I am her only hope for more grand babies! I feel like the world is on my shoulders, I never new she felt this way. My fiance' wants more kids 2 & he is 38. I welcome all advice. Anyone start over having kids when their kids are teens? Would you reccommend it? I'll be 34 soon, my clock is ticken (lol). HELP
2006-10-10 04:56:42 · 15 answers · asked by sweetie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
My mother is 48 I am 26 my siblings are 24, 20...4and 6!!!!
I have a 9 year old and a 4 year old, yup my momma and I carried our pregnancies together!!! It was so fun and she is happy and raising her kids just as she did the "first time round", very well!!! It is keeping her young and she is very happy she did it. It is not uncommon now-a-days for women to not start having children until well into their 30's not to mention you already know how its done AND will know which mistakes NOT to make again!!!
2006-10-10 05:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jep 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is an issue that only you can really make a decision on...you are a mother already so you know just how much time, angst, committment, strength needed, love, money etc etc gosh I could go on for years here...lol anyway you get the point right?
Do NOT have more children just for your mum, do NOT have kids just for your partner...it needs to be a choice that you are happy to live with.
My sis-in-law has recently found out she's pregnant with her 3rd child....her eldest is 18 years old and second child is 12 years old, so this came as a shock since she'd given up hope years ago of having any more....she is married and stable yet she is still a bundle of nerves at the idea of starting over again.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll make the right decision for yourself.
2006-10-10 12:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by mildly_adiktiv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My oldest child is out the door and the youngest has yet to be born, with 6 in between. Not quite the same situation, but everyone wonders why I don't want my life back.
Sounds as though you would have been fine (happy) had it turned out you were pg and your family is hugely supportive. Having a baby now, with all the advancements that have been made as far as creature comforts are concerned, will really impress you.
In the end, it's up to you. 34 is still in that young category. There is a lot to be said about being an older mom.
2006-10-10 12:12:16 · answer #3 · answered by auld mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, it is NOT up to your mother whether you have more children or not. I had my children late in life (the 1st at 36, the 2nd at 39). I see nothing wrong with having children in your 30s IF YOU WANT THEM. And, IMV, if you have someone in your life who will be a full time father to them.
Your mother is being incredibly selfish. I would *never* tell my children that they're my only hope to have some brand of happiness in my life. That's just *wrong.* If she needs children to hug and spoil, tell her to volunteer at a children's hospital. Tell her to volunteer to be a "cuddler" at the local NICU - someone who comes in and holds and rocks the preemies and feeds them.
If she needs some sort of fulfillment, it's up to HER to find it, NOT YOU.
I think that if I would have had children much younger, at this point I'd be grateful to an extent for the opportunity to be just a little more selfish than being a FT mom to young kids allows. If that's where your head is, you need to disabuse your mother of this notion *right now* and tell her you do not want to hear anything more about it LOL! That sounds incredibly manipulative on her part.
Good luck!
2006-10-10 12:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there..I am in the same situation. I am 33 and my Son is 11. I am not married to his father because he turned out to be a drinker...I am now married 3 years to a wonderful man who would love to have more kids...I was like you, unsure if I wanted to "do it again"...but the more I gave it thought, the more I realized that I would love to have another child. My mother in law was quite happy with this decision, however we made it based on our family...not what she wanted. I wish you good luck!
2006-10-10 13:12:20 · answer #5 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy and don't want anymore kids then don't have any. Yo u will be the one to raise them. If you do want more children, then start now. Once you hit 35 your chances go up for downs. It is your decision.
2006-10-10 12:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom needs to deal with it. If you have any more kids you weill lessen the chances for your now teens to be able to go to college with your help.. If your mom wants a baby around so bad- why don't u suggest her to adopt a kid?? I don't recommend you to have any more kids. If you're a single mom and you find a guy that will take you for your kids- 2 would be ok but 3 is a huge package. Your mom needs to deal with it. Besides- your
2006-10-10 12:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I just had a set of twins my son is not in his teens he was 12 when they were born it has been great you enjoy it so much more when you are older plus my son is great with the babies.
2006-10-10 12:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by aintgivinup79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want more kids, then you are not too old. But don't just have them for your mom. She's not the one who will be raising them. If you decide not to have more then tell her she'll just have to wait for the great grandbabies, if your kids are teenagers she shouldn't have to wait too much longer.
2006-10-10 12:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
darlin, YOUR kids will probably be having kids soon enough! you have already brought two into our overpopulated world, now any more and you are taking food out of another childs mouth somewhere....get your tubes tied so you won't hear that clock ticking, tell your mother to adopt a baby if she wants another one to raise and enjoy being a grandparent when your time comes
2006-10-10 12:05:45 · answer #10 · answered by lily-of-the-valley 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋