Fighting and Children don't mix?

Question

My grand mom used to tell this all the time when I was growing up, “Be the bigger person and walk away”. You know how kids can be when they think you’re scared. They will bully you to death. So I stopped going to her for advice after I got tired of getting bullied and to my mother, who was a live wire. She used to say “Do what you gotta do and I’ll handle the teachers when they call”. My Grand mom used to get so mad at her but Mom used to say “Everybody has a breaking point. He reached his”. Needless to say, I followed my mothers advice through out my school years.

I’ve heard some parents tell their children not to ever fight………AT ALL!!!! They say “If somebody hits you, just tell the closet adult and walk away. Fighting never solves anything”. Nobody agrees with the statement “Fighting never solves anything” more than I do, especially in this day and age when people don’t fight anymore. They’ll shoot you for looking at them wrong. But I do believe that there comes a time when you must stand up for yourself, especially if a bully has been tormenting you for the longest. Now, I’m childless but if I ever do have kids, I plan to teach them to stand up for themselves. What do you think? Should children fight if they need to?

No rude comments, just serious answers.

Answer 1

I agree with both sides, it is often better to just be the better person and walk away; however, there is no point in getting your butt kicked on a routine basis either. Usually all it takes is once or twice of sticking up for yourself and then the bullies will realize that you are no longer an easy target. I teach my son not to bully, not to hit/kick/bite etc. but I also make sure he knows that it is not okay for someone else to do this to him. It's a fine line, but kids imitate by example. As a child I was taught both example and fared pretty well for myself. I never hit first, but I made sure who ever was trying to hurt me never tried it again.

Answer 2

I guess that fighting is REALLY not always the answer becasue they are alot of of other ways to solve a problem but...I would never let any one get away with hitting me or my child or for that matter anyone that I luv. Its true now a days thigns are crazy, people think that taking a life insnt something serious. They just dont care...If someone is picking on my child I would talk to the childs parents and I would even talk to the child...Hopefully my baby girl will never be in that predicament. ANd I dont think that CHILDREN should be fighting now a days you even see little 13 year olds smoking thinking that it makes them look kool...they need to go to skool and do somthing with their lives.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

I agree with you too. I believe that you should teach your child to handle that type of situation by ignoring the first time, but if the other child won't lay off, do what's necessary (only in self-defense). Every child has to learn how to stand up for themselves. You don't want them to be afraid of confrontation when they get older. One of my friend's in high school got bullied and never stepped up. One day he was at his breaking point and got so fed up that he went home crying got a knife from home and stabbed his bully. This was 20 years ago and he still has anger issues til this day. You never want it to get that far. Some kids are just never taught to stand up for themselves and when they get fed up, they break.

Answer 5

I like your mom's advice. We discourage our kids from fighting, but you can't let someone bully you. We always tell them not to start the fight, and yes they will get in trouble at school for fighting, but that they have to stand up for themselves. If someone started something with one of our kids, we would be proud of them if they fought back even if they did get in trouble with the teachers. If you go and tell an adult on the bully, that will only make it worse.

Answer 6

Dam right you should I tell my son whos 6 and in 1st grade if someone hits you tell your teacher and if he hits you again you hit him back. I've went to 9 different schools in my life time and I've learned that if you don't stand up for yourself your an easy target. Thats why my 6 yr. old is going to self defense classes not just for bullies but because this world isn't safe like it used to be. Children of ages 4-7 really don't fight they do the name calling thing and I tell him the old saying STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT ME. Plus my daddy can beat up your daddy lol

but anyways you better believe they should stick up for themselves

Answer 7

I agree with you , if you dont stand up for yourself the teasing , bullying etc will just continue. All it takes is one time and people realize you are not a pushover or wussy. I am not saying u need to fight at the drop of a hat but sometimes you gotta do what u gotta do.

Answer 8

I agree. I wouldn't ever want my kids to fight but I wouldn't want them to just wimp out. It's important for kids to know how to fight (karate or fighting techniques learned in a constructive class) when parents/adults are not around. I want my kids to know how to fight when they HAVE defend themselves. I would much rather my child end bullying (when hit first and has been verbally abused for a while) instead of just adding more reason to bully by going to complain to a teacher/other adult. I know what you are saying and I know it's hard to explain. You are probably going to get a lot of slack for this but I totally agree and understand!

Answer 9

I believe and was raised up if someone hits you you better not just stand there you better defend yourself!

Going to teachers does nothing all they do is say dont tattle now.

I dont believe in starting the fight but i believe in defending yourself.

And for bullies if all they do is say stuff it is good to just way away or if you have to make one good comment and then walk away leaving them shocked.

Answer 10

Yeah they should. I don't mean bullying other kids but self defense only. However, there are some casses where the bullied become the bully. Parents so just be careful about how the go about this subject with their children.