I have been w/my bf for almost a year. We have been friends for over 2. We live together, have dog, & have basically started a life together, etc. We ALWAYS get asked when we are going to get married.
The other day he sent an email out to his friends saying he had something HUGE going on Sunday that he can't wait to tell them about. Everyone assumed he was going to propose. He wasn't. He was launching his online comic. He told me that people were thinking he was going to propose and thought it was HILARIOUS; thinking I would have the same reaction. I didn't. It upset me.
We have had discussions about marriage, and he is a bit of a commit-o-phobe. His mom & step-dad have both been married 3 times, and his dad cheated on his mom (& left him & her 2 days before x-mas). I have the nuclear family. My parents have been married 25 years.
Am I right in being upset? From my perspective it felt like he was laughing at me. He apologized, but I don't think he gets it. What should I do?
2006-10-10 04:30:23 · 8 answers · asked by Laura 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
FYI- He's a great guy. The first guy I have dated that my parents, friends, and (the hardest to please of them all) my sister like.
Plus, he says he wants to get married. He just wants to be sure he can take care of me. And I feel weird when random people ask me about it. (It's a mixed bag of emotions.)
I am not, under any circumstance, going to pressure him about it. A gf he had a while back did and I know he would resent me for it (and I would resent myself for being a nag). I actually have only brought the topic up once. (I really just keep it bottled in, which might be part of my problem.)
2006-10-10 04:46:02 · update #1
I really don't think he was laughing at you. Although I understand why you were upset (it's no laughing matter) I think you really shouldn't let hit upset you. Different people move at different paces. You haven't been dating a year yet, marriage is a scary topic this soon. You have to take into consideration the relationships and the success rates that he has watched (mother and father etc) he probably just wants to give your relationship time to grow and for you two to build a strong foundation. Give him time, be supportive of his comic, and when he is ready you two can take the next step. I am not saying wait forever, however if you are sure that this man is for you, give him time.
Best Wishes!!!
2006-10-10 04:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your taking it a bit too much to heart, he's excited about his webcomic, sounds like thats a big part of himself, you should be happy for that instead of expecting him to propose maybe you should just be happy with the way your relationship is because it sounds like its going very well, pressuring him to get married might force him away from you.
2006-10-10 11:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by renegadechef9_0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He also probally was dropped on the head as a child or stuck his finger in a light socket. There never the same... I suggest therapy for him shock therapy knock some sense into him. It might reverse what-ever damage he has done before from touching light sockets. He's retarded for putting you through this. I say it's been too long and if he acted that way maybe you need someone who will treat you right.
2006-10-10 11:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Juleette 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah i know how you feel...he shouldn't have laughed especially since he knows how important marriage is to you but then again you shouldn't take it soo serious because you know he wants to be with you and marry you so maybe it was just a little funny to him that everyone thought that but they weren't right. Don't me mad he wasn't laughing at you. You can smile now :)
2006-10-10 11:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look it is time for you to move on in life. This guy by his actions is a "loser". The longer you stay the harder it is going to be for you to leave. You deserve better than this. Really you do. Go on and sooner or later the true Mr. Right will find you in the most unexpected place.
2006-10-10 11:35:06 · answer #5 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's getting the milk free, honey. If you want to get married, tell him that!! Tell him no more playing house until you get married. That will move him off the fence, one way or the other. Just be prepared to move on without him if it shoves him the other way. You have to be happy with you and your life, first and foremost. He is happy with his, but isn't considering you.
2006-10-10 11:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i wouldn't care what other people think. no i wouldn't be upset. but i would tell him to not to make a joke out of asking u to marry him
2006-10-10 11:35:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-10-10 11:33:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋