My daughter waits for the bus and rides the bus with this 9 yr old girl, among other children. Her mom also stands and waits for her for the bus and meets her out when the bus returns. The problem is, this little girl HAS to have my daughters attention ALL the time. As soon as she sees my daughter she runs up and repeats her name over and over and over untill my daughter eventually has to stop what she is doing (ususally talking to another kid or playing) and either talk to her or walk away. My daughter has gotten to the point where it seems like she is trying to ignore her. My daughter used to be excited to see her, but now she just tries to avoid her, with no prevail. It's not like my daughter doesn't give her attention, its that this girl has to have ALL her attention ALL THE TIME, and if she don't get it she gets mad and yells and my daughter. The problem is, her mom is out there when this happens and won't say anything when her daughter does this. Should I talk to the mom?
2006-10-10 03:55:01 · 15 answers · asked by MiZmeL 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I had this same problem with my daughter last year when she was five and just starting to school..
The way that worked for me was teaching my daughter to "use her words" when the little girl was trying to get her attention... I taught her some "words" such as "please wait a minute.." "I'm just talking to so-and-so at the moment" and other self empowering phrases.
I didn't talk to the mum because no mother likes to hear worries about their child and can make things difficult in the long run.
I also spent time in the playground before school and monitored the situation myself .. ie if I saw the girl trying to get my daughter's attention, I stepped in and re directed her or let know very nicely that my daughter was playing with someone else at the moment... I also had a chat with her about making other friends besides my daughter as that is what my daughter liked and I hoped that she could do the same...
I know that other people here have said to speak to the mother but I really don't recommend it unless you already have some of communication happening already. You don't want to make your trip to the bus stop more awkward than it is already.
Hopefully the mother will see you intervening and do something about it...
Good luck!!
2006-10-10 14:24:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First have your daughter explain to the girl that she and the girl
may have other friends . Its good to have other
friends that you can talk to, have her explain. Tell your daughter to tell the girl let's have a new friends race. Or she could tell the girl today I will spend time with so and so and you spend time with other so and so, then on Thursday you and I will spend time together. If that does'nt work by all means speak to the mother. If that does'nt work perhaps you and your daughter and the other mother and her daughter can have an improtu meeting at the bus stop after some of the student traffic has died down. Have your daughter tell what is being done and how it makes her feel in front of both of them. By the mothers response you will know how to take it from there.
2006-10-10 11:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat her to with in an inch of her live, then she'll stop. Then is her mother steps in beat her down also. If she is bigger than you carry a small stick that you can stick in your shirt ot coat and knock her up side the head a few times to make sure she gets the message on her daughter's behaivor. Once you knock both out and they lay on the floor gasping for air, your daughter should have no more problems waiting for bus, or from any other misbehaving kids. In a great way to help her self esteem may be hold one of them down and have your daughter give them a couple of whacks, lord knows she should. Any way thats how we handle it back in Jersey!!!!!!! Just kidding talk to the mother.
2006-10-10 11:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by hank 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would talk to the girl's mom. Obviously her daughter doesn't have a lot of friends, and has taken to your daughter. If her mother wants to encourage the friendship she needs to enforce some boundaries. She needs to step in and tell her child it isn't polite to interupt your daughter or to yell at her. Someone needs to explain to the 9 year old that friendships aren't made that way. It is better for her to learn this now then as an adolescent, teen or adult.
2006-10-10 11:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by S. O. 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think she just sees your daughter as a big sister or something maybe the child is abused at home and your daughter could be her source of comfort maybe that's why she gets so angry at her maybe you could talk to the mom but it could be that them Mom doesn't pay attention to her daughter.
2006-10-10 11:48:01 · answer #5 · answered by Josie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, talking to the mother should be the #1 option..but if it doesn't work maybe your daughter can just explain to her that sometimes she wants "her space" (even though these girls are young, they know that wanting attention ALL THE TIME is annoying)
2006-10-10 11:00:41 · answer #6 · answered by mizzrizz543 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her, but don't make a big deal out of it. It's positive attention your daughter is getting, just a little bit too much. Causally see what mother thinks about it.
2006-10-10 21:00:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter is going to have to learn how to deal with things on her own, just simply have her say please stop saying that or leave me alone in front of the other mother, or you can say she'll be with you in a moment in front of the other mom, sometimes we do not see the annoying things that our children do until they are pointed out for us
2006-10-10 11:01:03 · answer #8 · answered by rye252000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you need to talk to her mom she seems to have to much energy do you no anyone else that acts like her if so suggest them to her mother maybe she will turn her attention to them and if that does not work have your daughter tell her up front that she over does it and needs to calm down if not give her some space and if she yells at your daughter then you step in and mack shure she knows that you do not appreciate her attitude. good luck
2006-10-10 11:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Definately talk to the other girls mother. Maybe the 9 yr old has a learning disability?? That makes her act a little strange
2006-10-10 11:16:22 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋