My Kids wont quit Lieing?

Question

My wife and i have 4 kids. We both grew up with parents who hit us and we are sure there are ways of disciplining our kids without violence ( we are haveing trouble with figuring out how ) our oldest daughter (8), 3rd grade, keeps lieing..we have been putting her in the corner, grounding her, takeing TV away for a week at a time, no video games and , yelling at the top of out lungs <( we hate that one ) but we just dont know what else to try..does anyone else have an idea..we have done slapps on the palm with a wooden spoon but not very often. please send us some ways you have tryed that worked..thank you from my wife and I

Answer 1

Number 1 - catch her in her lies
Number 2 - don't take away one thing...take away everything.
Number 3 - tell her liars don't deserve privileges. Take off her bedroom door, take away her radio, ipod, TV, telephone privileges etc.

When she can go a few weeks without lying, then start giving her stuff back. YES...sounds harsh...but kids have so many diversions that taking away one at a time is barely noticeable to them.

Answer 2

Slaps on the palm with a wooden spoon? What the hell woudl you do that for? You might as well just spank them, rather than hitting them with an object, at least with spanking its with your hand, so you know exactly how hard you are hitting and it also hurts your hand a bit, which makes you less likely to do it. Hitting your kids with an object really sucks.
Be consistent in your punishments. People always say they try things like timeouts and they dont work. Thats because those people tend to not use the timeouts properly. For example, the time does not start running until the child says that they are sorry (and means it) or stops crying or whatever. You also have to make sure that the entire timeout is enforced, and that the kid isnt sitting there enjoying themselves during the timout by watching TV or something like that. Be consistent and firm, and make sure that the punishment is actually a punishment. If you are grounding her, but letting her have her friends over, and letting her have a grand old time inside the house while she is grounded, well, that isnt much of a punishment, is it?

Answer 3

My oldest daughter had that problem. She would feel sick when I'd catch her in a lie and seemed to have a lot of trouble stopping. I talked with her about why she thinks she does it. (she is 7 by the way). She said she thinks things in her head and wishes they were true and thinks it sounds better than what really happened. I honestly don't know how she got to that point but it concerned me. It did no good to punish her unless her lie got someone else into trouble. Instead I would listen to her elaborated story like she was telling the truth and then would say ... Is that the truth or a story? She would answer me honestly. I applauded her for having such a good imagination and encouraged her to write her stories down. And I always reminded her that if she was telling a story that she needed to let the person know who was listening. That way they wouldn't think she was a liar. I would confirm that I knew she wasn't a liar yet a great story teller but others wouldn't unless she told them. She became very confident and stopped her lies. She however has notebook after notebook of stories she has written and she is only 7. Sounds like you have a very smart clever daughter. Just remember if you tell a child they are a liar they will be. Kids do what is expected of them. If she thinks you expect her to lie... she will. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 4

Not sure what to tell you since we got severe spankings for lying when I was a kid. What is the one thing she loves the most? Take it away along with all priviledges for 1 month. Increase the sentence by a month until she stops. You can use what my grandfather told us...if you lie, you will steal and if you steal you will kill. I know that scared the heck out of me, but hard to say with kids of today. Whatever you do remember you have to be firm, because as parents you are only teaching and training your kids for real life.

Also spanking is not violence, I am glad my parents disciplined me and my siblings. It made us into well behaved adults.

Answer 5

Just tell your daughter since she cant be honest about anything just send her to her room, because you have lost all trust in her, and that you know the truth and it hurts your feelings that she has to be that way. Then reward the other kids if they are honest by taking them out somewhere like McDonalds or something.

Make her earn your trust back, no friends no nothing school home, homework, room, dinner, bed time. What would she possibley have to lie about then unless she snuck to make a phone call or something.

LOL, Take the other kids out while she has to stay behind with a relative she doesnt like.

Answer 6

1st of all I want to say good job not hitting your kids I was abused as a child and don't hit my children either. 2nd I have an 8 year old daughter also and was very alarmed when I started catching her lying all of the time, so I started talking to some of the parents of her friends and have come to find out that all 8 year olds especially girls lie! It must be a developmental thing I don't know, but what I have done is just simply call my daughter on it, when she tells a lie I simply say nice try now tell me the truth before your nose grows, or I tell her that no one will trust her if she lies all of the time, try reading the boy who cried wolf to her. I know that all of this seems like things that will not work but yelling at them only makes them lie more because then they are afraid of getting in trouble, just call her on it and eventually she will learn that no one will fall for it and everyone will like her for her and not the web that she spins, good luck!

Answer 7

Find the source of the lying. Its generally insecurity, or the desire to avoid punishment.

Explain the the child the consequences of lying, and let her learn about losing, and gaining trust.

You can trust her now, she's going to have to deal with it. You cant expect her to tell you anything truthful, and she needs to understand that.

"let me check your home work, to make sure you're not lying about it, I will call your teacher tomorrow to make sure everything is turned in and completed"

"I need to see you brush your hair and teeth, since i cant trust you to do it on your own"

"you cannot go to your friends how because i cannot trust you to follow rules, or to be truthful to her or her parents"

It means more work for you, but eventually she's going to want to be trusted and make an effort to gain that trust back.

And dont take thing away for periods of time. Cut them out completely. This behavior results in a lack of electronics and friends. Enough said. And it stays that way until she either is repentive, or starts to earn your trust.

Too much responcibility results in an environment condusive to lies. Take away her responcibilities, take her back down to life as a toddler, and start over.

I was a liar when I was her age. I am not now, thanks to my parents. I got my butt spanked however, but again, thats a parents decision.

Answer 8

Well she's 8 so she's old enough to understand reasoning. Try lying to her a couple times. If you tell her she can go somewhere, then you lie about it, she'll get that lying hurts people. She may not understand just how serious her lying is. When she lies, explain to her why lying is so dangerous, and why it's not allowed. If it comes down to it, tell her that she has to be grounded because if she's lying and she's around other people that she will hurt them with her lying, and you can't allow that. She can still hang out around the house, but she can't go shopping, or to dance classes, or on playdates. I'm sure that as long as you stick to your guns when you set a punishment, she'll realize that she can't out-stubborn you, so she better start listening. Hope it works out for you!

Answer 9

a million) Get help from a sort of rehab or salvation military has loose centers church is powerful communicate to little ones pastor 2) Volunteer on the lads n women club be a huge brother vounteer 3) movements communicate louder than observe and alter your group pf friends the are adime a dozen 4) rehab out affected person servise and the salvation aarmy or church write the letter without bullshit memories get help maximum ins pay and get counseling along with your mom first then artwork your set dad in there isa reason your utilising

Answer 10

Just a thought, lie back to them, when you catch them in a lie, have them sit quietly on the couch for a few minutes and tell them you've got a surprise for them, like candy, or a toy, after a few minutes have passed and they ask for their surprise or candy, tell them you don't have anything for them and ask them how it feels to be 'lied to' ! I've always believed the same treatment they give, they should get to see how it feels. Good Luck.