hi i need help if i wanted ot get married to my cousin .. my dad's sisters daughter's son.
we both like eachother. he is same age as me. and we haev thought about marriage. he sasy he wants to finisih college and get into a career. ok.
i said ok i haev to finish my studies also.
bt if i want to get married right now.. how to tell him and how can i tell my parents taht i want to get married now. will they say yes or no? and i also told him when my sistter gets married than after that.. but that day hasnt come for her..should i wait? or get married now? please tell me what to do?
2006-10-10 03:05:50 · 18 answers · asked by NEHA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
yeah we both understand eachother and i'm not shy i always say wht's on my mind.
but he said before that he wanted ot finish college and start career. if i tell him taht iw ant to get married now wht will he say?
2006-10-10 03:11:00 · update #1
we arent close cousins ...a bit far away cousins.
and in pakistani indian culture doesnt matter
2006-10-10 03:11:45 · update #2
i foudn someone outside family..we were veyr close but my parents didnt agree tehy said in side fmaily
2006-10-10 03:15:41 · update #3
guys thank you so much for the advice ..i'll talk it over with him.. and with my family.
yes i want to finish my studies .. but maybe if we get engaged that will be good also...and marry after i have finsihed my studies and after he has finsihed his...
2006-10-10 03:24:40 · update #4
yeah i guess i should wait...
but 2 months ago he was so ready to get married..
now he is changed
2006-10-10 03:28:43 · update #5
he said lets marry and he told his aunt to ask me that cuz she lives here..and he lives back home.
but now he says wait. whats is his problem
2006-10-10 03:29:48 · update #6
yeah i talked to him...he says wait so ok lets wait.
2006-10-12 03:27:44 · update #7
NEphew
thats impossible
2006-10-12 05:18:41 · update #8
no.
2006-10-10 03:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by wrfab 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not 1st cousins, but 2nd cousins so thats one good thing. It is a legal marriage in many countries, including most western countries. I think having your career goals are smart and there is nothing wrong with a long engagement...you will be a wife forever enjoy being a fiance...its a great time where you have that stability but he also needs to ask for that saturday night date. I would suggest seeing a marriage counsellor, before you marry. They can give you some good advice from how to deal with people saying ewwww you are cousins to financial advice. It is not uncommon for people to marry within the same family circle in some cultures. Heck the royals have been doing it for centuries...I bet they all should have had pre-marriage counselling. Good Luck
2006-10-10 03:18:12 · answer #2 · answered by Cherry_Blossom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes
2016-10-25 23:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should wait until your studies are through, but no matter what anyone tells you, you will do what is in your own heart to do. I also think that you should talk this over with your family, get it out in the open and let them know that you both need to start making plans. Once you are up and on your feet out of college and start your career, you will better understand yourself and have plenty outside life that you have delt with. I wish you the best in your decision, however, do not rush anything, good things come to those who do wait.
2006-10-10 03:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by pits_me1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just enjoy each other's company until you are ready to start a family, there's no good reason to get married right now is there? You both want to finish your studies, and he wants to get started on a career first, which is very responsible of him. Too many people rush into having children when they really aren't ready to provide for them.
2006-10-10 03:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by Sangmo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Age will not be a deterrent to your marraige. But as he rightly said, he needs to stabilise his future and he is right in saying that he will marry after he is decentky employed. You are also studying and now your concentration should be in that. I dont think this is the right rime to hasten things. Your love is just ripening and wait for it to be ripe enough. Let me tell you, there is a thrill in waiting for the right partner and you will remember the nostalgia even when you both are grandparents!!!
If you pressurise him for marriage now, I dont think he will have a smooth 'yes'. Is it not better that you wait a little more?
2006-10-10 03:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by THE WORRIER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the UK you can marry your cousin legally, they say there is a slight increased risk of disabled children. However, it sounds like you are 2nd cousins to me, so the risk is less I believe.
However, wait til your studies are complete, and you both have jobs, you need money to live on after all.
If you really cannot wait, say to him that you want to marry sooner, you cannot force someone though.
2006-10-10 03:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you sound like you really love him, but I think you both need to concerntrate on your studies and then decide from there.
Beware, I know a set of cousins who have ended up together and it can divide a whole family, so I think you really need to think about what is important to both of you...if your families are really important maybe this is not the answer for you. If however, after your studies, your love wins out, then your family should see this, and after the initial shock, and be there for you
2006-10-10 03:13:28 · answer #8 · answered by chelles_insanity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is a true love then u could definately marry. But the lovers shold have more patiance. Don't hurt your family, the time may join you with him. so be confidence and try to settle both in life first.
2006-10-10 03:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by Laxminarayana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhmmm get a career first,....nikaah can wait...career won't ...
Seriously...just think how distracting would it be to have a husband or a wife when you are trying to study for classes...
take some time and finsh your studies ..then talk marriage
2006-10-10 03:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by cuteniceprty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, that's not a distant cousin! That's actually real close in relation, that's your second cousin. You didn't say your aunts husbands daughters son, that's your cousins son...ugh! I don't know about marrying second cousins, too closely related.
2006-10-10 03:18:58 · answer #11 · answered by Coco 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋