Isn't sex sacred?

Question

I always thought it was supposed to be special.

Yet, why do so many speak of it so flippantly, having casual sex now and then, watching ponorgraphy, wanking, cybersex, petting, prostitution etc as though it means nothing.

I always thought that I would conserve it for the one I marry & I don't do any of the above things, as I don't want to let him down.

Yet, why is there a prevalent frivolous attitude towards sex?
Also, would you be let down if your spouse had plenty of it before you?
And most importnatly, wouldn't you be letting yourself down as well as your future partner?

Regarding certain lines of arguments:
Re: Animals (dogs and whatnot)
We aren't the same as animals. The distinguishing factor is that our intellect is developed to a greater extent. We are able to distinguish our emotions and our thoughts, differentiate from right and wrong, etc. I would think that comparison can't be made with them.

More prevalent argument:
Attitude toward sex is an opinion based.
To some extent perhaps.
But my society has brought me up to believe that this is a moral thing.
This leads to debable issue of morals itself.
Some say morals exist because man created them.

It's wrong to kill, and wrong to steal.

Are those man created morals? If it was man created, why abide by them? We should all go around killing each other. I would think humans do have some innate sense of right and wrong in them.

In any case, my argument is not religious based.

Answer 1

I'm kind of surprised to see in your additionnal comments that your argumentation isn't religiously based.

Your question show the kind of little-mindness that caracterize religious beliefs where one truth shine over the whole world, past, present and future. It must apply to everybody everywhere.

I understand from your question, that the only way you feel sex can be special enough is if your having it with your spouse.
Why is that? Because those are your beliefs. You must realize that beliefs are choices you make on how to live your life.

Who are you to dispute the beliefs of others? Choosing to enjoy sex any other way isn't better or worse than your way.

If you feel that sex out of wedlock is degrading to you, you are free to abstain and be on the lookout for someone that share your view. But you have absolutely no right to expect it from anyone in particular or the society in general. To each their own choices.

STOP projecting your own values over everyone head, and BEGIN to accept that your views are as alien to some others than theirs are to you.

Answer 2

I think that you have to stand behind what you believe and not judge others for their choices. That is not to say that you are condemning others - based on your question.
There is enjoyment in sex and those that tend to over explore tend not to be happy with themselves.
Once upon a time there was no such thing as marriage, joining, etc. of two people and man (woman) was not always exclusive and more than likely never will be.
Myself I am a one man at a time woman and give everything to a relationship. Mind, body and share my spirit.

Answer 3

the church says it is but society says it isn't.

something happened back in the 60's called womens lib. Women no longer wanted to be treated like women they wanted to have the same rules as the men did. So they decided to ask men to have sex and sleep with as many men as they wanted.

It slowed down with AIDS but not enough to stop it. Now with AIDS out of the headlines it's almost back to the way it was. If a woman is old enough to and a boy is able to then off they go.

I agree with you, it's stupid. Sex doesn't make a person a man or a woman. It means they had sex.

Answer 4

I have felt this way a long time. Sex is special and I want to give my husband my virginity. Yet, I doubt that my future husband would give me his. Maybe my standards aren't high enough but I really don't believe I'd be his first. I have participated in a few of the selected activites and I know that's wrong. I know but right now I'm not sorry. I feel like I've been waiting so long to find him and I'll just keep waiting and never live and he'll disapoint me. Sex is special and I do want to be my future husbands first and I want to give him that gift too. You're right and I hope you keep up your ethics for him.

Answer 5

You've asked many questions in one. If YOU have certain beliefs about sex, that's perfectly okay. Don't assume that others have the same views, and don't automatically judge them if they have a view different than yours. I think most people would agree that sex is wonderful and special, and even spiritual between people who are in love. But sex is many things to many people. We have different ideas about sex even within ourselves at different times. Sometimes we just want a real hot, sweaty session with our lover, sometimes we want a slow, romantic night. Sometimes we are attracted to others, and sometimes not. Sex is a very big part of who we are as humans... and very personal as well. You are entitled to your beliefs and opinions! And so is everyone else.

Answer 6

Its a media thing,by putting images out there that depict a particular image,in this case sex,people begin to look at it as something casual.It also depends on the type of environment in which one is raised.But,let me ask,how do you look at it? especially the,the pressure that come, from others in your age. For a lot of us take it in different strides.no i would not be let down if my spouse had more than i,for it was my choice to be with them. and it all depends on you how much you accept that person for who they are.
It is a good sense in thought that you have though,keep it up.

Answer 7

You guys need to stop with this.

What makes humans so much better than every living creature in nature?

You wanna get technical? God told us "Thou shalt not kill" He never said "Thou shalt not kill other people"

Yet you purists have no problem killing germs, insects, animals, bacteria, plants and basically anything living that doesn't wear clothes and talk to you.

Animals have sex for the continuation of their respective species... and we essentially do so for the same reason.

However, we're capable of having sex for pleasure. So are dolphins. Do dolphins mate for life? No. They mate with who they want, when they want. Why? Because it's natural.

You people turn it into some sacred, God-given, beautiful thing... when all it really is... is a way for two (or more) people to have some fun together and make eachother feel good.

Religion tells you that God doesn't want you to have sex... as a way of CONTROLING YOU! Religion wants to tell you what to think, what to eat, what to say, what to do... and you all give into it and buy into their ideals. Think for yourself.

Are dogs going to hell for having sex before marriage? Of course not! All dogs go to heaven!!

Answer 8

No Id prefer he did his running around before he met me not while he was with me.
All of the people I know who married their 'first' never lasted, one of them always ended up cheating.
Wouldn't you want your partner to have lived and loved before you? I mean as long as everyone is protected and happy Whats the problem? We are in the 21st century, sex is fun, its a part of life and just because people have sex with different partners in their life, why does that have to mean its not sacred?

Answer 9

well if everyone jump off the bridge will u do it
the answer is NO

so forget what people do and say

keep on doing what u r doing n what u believe
a girl like u is a rare diamond
there are not too many out there like u

so keep it up and u will find ur prince charming

Answer 10

Sex is a mutual bond between 2 people. Sex is not an act, but an emotion. So yes, sex is, and should be a sacred and private moment in your life.