i have tryed everything even sweets music games races and pink and blue boxes but my kids still will not help?

Question

i have tryed everything even sweets music games races and pink and blue boxes but my kids still will not help clean there toys and things ive had a operation in my aimpit ive had my armpit removed so its very painfull my husband is working all hours and i feel very stressed any ideas to get these kids to help?

my so is nearly 3 and my little girl is 4

my son lol

i just want them to pick up there toys and books and paper there everywhere i tryed a dancing game and sweets for the winner it worked for all of 2 mins they both understand what iam asking but they just say no and run away iam not being nasty or shouting i just need them to learn how to look after there toys and put things away once they have played with them and it would help me alot if i havent got to run around the house picking up after them

thank you all
we finally got there i had to put a lot of toys in the bin but they did do as they where told i give them sweets after dinner and now there tiered out bless thank you so much :0)

Answer 1

I do sympathise - this is can be a real problem.

First of all, you have to be absolutely consistent. Kids can tell if you are bluffing - if you don't do what you say to them, it will just make things worse.

I have a "one toy out, one toy packed away" policy: if my four-year-old wants to bring the train set out, he has to pack away whatever game he's playing with first. If he won't do it, I first offer to help. (This means putting, eg, one car in the box for every three cars he puts in - it doesn't mean doing the job for him). If he won't do that, I tell him it's his last chance to put the stuff away, and if he hasn't started by the time I count to ten then the toy/game is going in the bin. I count slowly, and if he hasn't at least started by the time I get to ten, then, yes, the toy goes in the bin.

I fish it out later when he's not looking and send it to a charity shop, but I never, ever give it back to him. I only had to do this twice for him to take me seriously.

Yes, it seemed very harsh at the time, but better than raising a schmuck who is unable to clean up after himself!

Answer 2

i understand your tired and had an operation but sorry honey they are kids and 3 and 4? there just learning barely outta diapers and you want them to work? If they have so many toys they are tripping over them then put some away or give away to charity they only need 5 or 6 toys each a few books a game or two, a building set for creating, like lego, and a doll with some clothes. That will make clean up easier for yu and them.

Answer 3

I know a perfect way to get them to pick up their toys. It worked for my kids and everyone else I know who tried it. Tell the kids BEFORE they start playing that the room must be cleaned up before a particular time(bed,school or when ever you want it done). Only tell them once. When the time comes up go in the room and put all toys not put away in a garbage bag. Put garbage bag in your room. Don't say anything to them about it. Every day tell them the same thing and keep putting the toys in the bag. Soon they will have fewer and fewer toys to pick up. When they realize what you are doing tell them when they clean their room or put away the toys you will let them have 2 toys back out of the bag. It works.

Answer 4

Your children are at an age where they should be responsible for clearing away their toys. Give them house rules and a consequence for their actions. Kids need rules and consistency otherwise they get confused and don't take you serious. Never threaten unless your definitely going to carry it out. i have a three year old and she has to tidy her room, clear the table after dinner etc. If she refuses i give her warning if she still doesn't do as i ask i tell her i will count to three if she hasn't done what i ask then a toy goes in a bin bag and she then has to earn the toy back at a later date. Believe me this works it devastates her when she loses something so now she never tries to get out of tidying her stuff because she knows she will lose . good luck

Answer 5

How old are they? That certainly makes a difference in what they can be expected to do and how they do it.

Set a timer. Tell them that they have to clean for "X" minutes (like 10-15 at the most) and then they can watch a show or have a snack if they have made progress.

Give specific instructions. "Clean your room" or "pick up the toys" isn't specific enough for a younger child. You need to say, "put the clothes in the hamper" and "put the books on the shelf" and "pick up the blocks and put them in the box" then "put the games in the closet" etc.

Only allow one thing out at a time. "If you are done with that game, you need to put it away before you play with the dolls."

Tell them that they need to help pick it up or they lose it. Any toys left unattended in the living room can be confiscated, for example, and they may have to earn them back.

Answer 6

Make it clear to them that you will not be the one responsible for picking up their toys, and that if you have to do it, all of the toys that you have to pick up will be put into a plastic bag and not given back unless they can prove to you that they will pick them up on their own. This has worked with my kids. I have even gone to the extreme that if I find toys in places of the house where they do not belong, they will go into the trash and not be replaced. Trust me, children want to keep their toys, so if they know you are serios about it, they will learn to clean up. If you do have to take the toys away, be stern about it. Take them away, and then maybe if they clean up all their toys that are left, give them one back each time. But remember, if they get back into the pattern of not picking up, you do the picking up and taking away again.

Answer 7

If the kids never had to help clean up before, they're not going to want to clean up now. They don't know what's going on. You can tell them until your face is blue that you can't do it anymore, and they're not going to understand it. They're too young. All they know is that they have gone all their lives without having to clean up and all of a sudden they're being made too.. any preschooler would rebel.. and that's what they're doing, they're rebelling.

I wish that I had a suggestion for you, but unless you've had them helping to clean up their toys the whole time, it would take longer to get them to start helping than it would for you to recover. Take it easy and take it a day at a time.

Clean up any messes that are gross, but leave the toys for later. The toys aren't going to matter. A cluttered floor isn't going to matter. What matters is that you stop stressing out, and just do what you can, when you can.

Answer 8

Tell them once only that from now on anything that is not put away will be picked up by you. You will not pick anything up twice however because if they leave it out for you it is because they do not want it anymore and are happy for it to be thrown out or given away. Keep expensive things hidden away and throw out the rest. They have little respect for it or you and you need to show them that you are in charge.

I have 4 of my own and I know how bad the tidying up thing can get. It works for me for a while, then it all starts to fall apart again and I do it again.

Good luck

Answer 9

I had that problem with my grandkids ages 3 &4. I decided to clean up their toys and left them with one or two. It is now easier for both my husband and I to deal with them picking up their messes. If they do not help pickup then we eliminate a toy and tell them before we do it. Follow through...Oh, by the way, the four year old listens and we are still working on the three year old.

Answer 10

Ok sorry about your arm not nice and must be difficult with young children and a home to look after.
Here is my tip it is called THE BLACK BAG! We all know what goes into a black bag rubbish and we all know where that rubbish goes down the tip or of to the dustbin men on what ever da they come well my rule in my house when children where young was.
ANY THING ON THE BEDROOM/LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN FLOOR WENT IN BLACK BAG!
This worked when I put the first toys in the bag and in the bin they went it never happenend again! Cruel but effective I just asked the kids what does mommy use a black bag for and once they told me I gave them the rule. Anyway gave them warning "I am going into your room with black bag in one hour hope it is tidy?" Well a few toy soldiers and a barbie lost but never again!
I know cruel crule mom but hey it worked and great with teens and husbands too lol