I'm asking this after reading a similar Q. My husband and I married young & are now seperated - He has his son for weekends & when he has time off work, My problem is that he will think nothing of leaving him to walk to the local park on his own (through the woods), or when taking him out will give him little 'errands' to run, like "give that list to the shop keeper over there ect..." or wait outside the sports shop ect...
He seems oblivious to any danger as he grew up in a very wealthy enviroment. I ask him why he wants visits but I think he just sees taking him as his right, but then has no time for him (he is never nasty to him though). He lets him walk on his own for hours at a time, saying that he's ok in the park or wherever as the 'bigger' kids will look out for him & it gives him independence.
How can I make him stop his reckless ways without stopping him seeing his son?
Or am I being OTT?
Your views please.
Thank you for helping
Sam xxx.
2006-10-09 23:13:48 · 42 answers · asked by sam 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I cannot believe this so called father thinks its acceptible to let a 3yr old roam the streets! He's a baby! My daughter is 10 and is still not allowed to go to the park on her own, even though it is 3 doors away!
I would not allow the father to have unsupervised access, as he is putting his son in danger. Having money is even more of a risk, supposing someone kidnaps your son for a ransom?! Their are so many sick people out there roaming streets and parks for vunerable children and the dad is allowing your son to be one of these. Dont let your son become a statistic. Contact a solicitor or social services as the dad is showing dangerous signs of neglect. Does he even love his son? he's not showing it!
Please babe, honestlly dont let your son out of your sight!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-09 23:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by lucy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to think of the safety of your child first and foremost. Especially if his father isn't. If this continues something bad is bound to happen.
What you need to do is go to the court and ask for supervised visitation. That way the father can see him according to the visitation order but there will be someone there to make sure your son is watched properly. It sounds like this is the only way for the father to realize he is responsible for watching his son and not the "bigger kids" at the park.
There is no excuse for negligence. It doesn't matter that he grew up in a wealthy environment. All the money in the world won't be able to fix it if something horrible were to happen on one of those long walks. It is time the father grew up.
2006-10-15 11:59:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him aware of it. In Britain there is a law that states that children under 12 must be accompanied by an adult, or at least a responsible child aged 12 and over. You might need to stop him from seeing his son for a short while if he doesn't listen to reasoning. Although I would not suggest this. Giving a young child "errands" like giving a list to the shopkeeper is OK, as long as your ex is in the shop as well.
2006-10-09 23:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by gr_bateman 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but you need to call Child Protective Services on him. The sad fact is your ex is gonna go through hell and may not be allowed to see his son at all...but most likely they will grant him him visitation rights, he just won't be able to leave without the child. Try and see if you can't get some proof of his behavior before calling them. If you care anything about your son you NEED to call them!!! I can't say this enough! I know you said you married young and I'm NOT saying age has anything to do with it!!! But I am 22 and I have a three year old and he NEVER leaves my sight!!!!!!!!! Really...you need to call!!! The sooner you call the better! Worst case scenario is that CPS will find out about it anyways and not only will they take your son away from your ex but if they have any thought that you might have known about it they will charge you and take him away from you too!!! It's not a 6 year-olds responsibility to watch your son it's his!! And I know you don't want to take your son away from your ex and let say this...If CPS takes the case...DEPENDING on the situation and how extreme they feel it is...they won't stop him from seeing his son he just won't be allowed to take him without being supervised...AND...after your ex takes a couple classes provided by CPS and as long as he cooperates with everything they tell him to do. They will let your son go back into his care!! IT'S NOT PERMANENT!!!! He just needs to learn a few things!!! I hope this helps!
2006-10-11 11:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation!
Do you have a parenting plan? When my ex and I separated we had to determine custody and create a parenting plan. We have shared legal custody and I have full physical custody. He has visitation and since we have shared legal, the father can do what ever he wants when he is with the child. It's hard for us moms because we want to make sure the child is receiving the BEST of care.
I say, HIRE an attorney...if you have to beg, borrow or steal because it is SO WORTH IT!! When you create the parenting plan be sure to include things like, "the child shall not play outside unsupervised" or something like that...I included, "there shall be no unrelated individuals of the opposite sex for overnight stays while the child is in residence."
You don't have to stop him from seeing his son, and you cannot control what your ex does, but you can get a parenting plan which is a COURT ORDER that he will have to follow!!
Good luck to you!!
2006-10-10 09:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by seaelen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It defies belief that you would still let him have your son at any time knowing he is being let out alone.I'm 6O and would'nt walk the streets on my own,what are you thinking allowing this to happen or are you just waiting for the police or someone to find your son dead in a forest somewhere.This might sound dramatic and a wicked thing to say,but there are a lot of evil people out there,for God sake do something,as others have said ,get the authorities involved if necessary and start being a responsible loving mother and look after your child.At three years old he is depending on you to protect him.DO IT and DO IT NOW.You stupid girl.
2006-10-09 23:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are not being OTT
A certain amount of freedom is a good thing but a 3 year old needs proper supervision
I would suggest getting a few articles off the www and giving them to him to read and ask if he wants his son to end up as just another statistic
2006-10-14 02:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not being ott i cant beleive a caring dad could do that does he not whatch the news children go missing from the park and places like that all the time.
i suggest you tell him that if he doesnt start to take better care of your son then you stop him seeing him because by letting him roam he is putting your son in danger.
sorry if it seems harsh.
good luck
2006-10-10 00:42:35 · answer #8 · answered by mummy to 3 miracles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your partner fails to see what being "resonsible"is all about.I would refrain from him seeing your son umless you are with him,the only other alternative is to contact social servies and tell them about this..they should be able to advise you.My partner comes from a background such as your ex..andhe was brought up by nanies,and evennow i have to remind him to do things so i can have a break.You need to tell him how you feel..i would not let my 7 yr old in the park on her own while i go off shopping.This is not on.
Please do not let him contie,while you are at work..anything could happen..he could get killed!!
tell me how it goes..you are not being o.t.t..just using your insticts.
2006-10-10 00:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound mean but teach ur husband a lesson. Follow them one day and "kidnap" your son long enough for him to panic and then call as though you are checking in and want to talk to him.Watch the look of panic on his face and then walk up to him and tell him everything is okay but that is how easily your son could be taken away only if it were to happen everything might not be okay and it could be a case were he wouldnt be comiing back.Some sicko could be molesting him or anything without your husband knowing. His safety is very vital your not being over protective.Thousands of kidds going missing a day.
2006-10-16 13:44:59 · answer #10 · answered by SexxiShorty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋