it's been 5 months since we broke up and we went out for a year and a half. we were the happiest thing together and were so sure that we were going to marry eachother. now that we are broken up i am having such a hard time moving on. i tell myself one day not to talk to him and then after after a night out with the grls i call him and see him. then the next day the cycle starts over again with alot of tears inbetween.
my heart is in so much pain it seriously feels like it is being stabbed. We love and care for eachother deeply but we know we can't be together but we dont want the other being with another person.
recently i found out that he has been talking to a girl and the thought of him possibly liking her and moving on without me is killing me.
I had an abortion because of this ex and it just makes this whole process more painful. he is not willing to
PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO STOP THIS PAIN I AM DYING TO KNOW THE FASTEST & SUREST WAY TO MOVE ON AND NOT CARE ABOUT HIM. PLEASE HELP!
2006-10-09 22:33:21 · 8 answers · asked by heartbrokensf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When a relationship ends, it often takes a lot of support, talk, strength and ice cream to get through the pain. But as the classic disco tune suggests, you will survive: "
If you are going through a break up right now, creating a new and joyful life may sound impossible. Whether you believe it or not, you can make your break up a positive experience in your life. Acceptance is the first step.
Getting Past the Drama
Acceptance comes when we step out of denial and judgment and are willing to see the present exactly as it exists in this moment. This means being able to see the story of your breakup for what it is, without any drama or story line. Our drama serves as a defense mechanism designed to protect us from the pain of our past. But, living in the story of your breakup and the drama of circumstances comes with a huge emotional price. It costs peace of mind and prevents us from living in the present.
Learning to Separate Fact from Fiction
An important aspect of healing is learning how to separate the facts from the story. Fact is an unbiased observation of the events of our lives. Fiction is the story we create out of our unresolved emotions from the past. It is rarely based on the facts. Here are some examples that can help you to differentiate between fact and fiction:
Healing Action Steps:
Ready to take the first step toward recreating your life -- and making it better than ever?
1.Create a quiet environment free from distractions. Take out a pen and a pad of paper, and begin writing your breakup story, complete with all the drama and emotion you feel about the events that transpired. Use language that expresses your deepest, darkest feelings. This is not a time to censor yourself, to be kind or to take responsibility for your actions. Give yourself permission to bring forth whatever needs to be said concerning yourself, your partner and your breakup.
2.Make a list of the facts about your breakup, without any story, drama or judgment.
3.Go back and read your list. As you revisit each detail, ask yourself, "Is this fact or fiction?"
You will soon realize its time to move on with life, get some good sensible friends.
Good Luckr
2006-10-09 22:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Rahul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar horrible experience before. It's really a difficult task to move on when you're still at the early stage of separation. What adds more to your most painful experience is to have that abortion just to satisfy his whim. You have to carry the guilt till lifetime.
Anyway, life has to go on for you without him at your side. Get rid of things that make you remind of him. Go out with friends. Or if you're the introvert type, why don't you make yourself busy with work or anything else? That's what I did before, making myself busy and dead tired until bedtime. Once in bed, you fall asleep easily without the chance of thinking about him and the past memories you shared together. You'll nake it just as I did. Good luck!
2006-10-10 05:49:52 · answer #2 · answered by cehLina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey heartbroken..... i know the pain must be something you can't bare.. but you must hang on there..k.... trust me.. the healing process is something that doesn't happen from one day to the next it takes time... and how cares.... Ive its been five mths.. take your time... when your truly ready to let him go you will..... k..:-).. now you could start by maybe picking up an elective at school maybe a sport or even a club.... to help you.. cope with your pain... its always best to be surrounded by people.... or help out at a nursery/daycare...hearing a child's laughter.. always heals a heart..:-) don't be to hard on yourself..you'll see all in good time.. Mr right.. will come..k..and don't worry it will all work out in the end.. good luck.. chrys:-)
2006-10-10 06:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, sorry but if he's moved on, then he gives you no choice but to move on. you could try telling him one last time that you love him and want him but if he doesn't want you, then you'll have to move on. then DO IT 100%. do NOT talk to him. do not visit his myspace or email each other. you just move on, whether that means crying a lot or not. eventually you will get over him, but it's the only way! in the meantime, you could go ahead and meet new friends and date casually until you're ready for a more serious relationship. "time heals all wounds." over time you will think about him less and less until he's not a part of your life and thoughts.
2006-10-10 05:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by painfullyaverage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are very young, You need a fresh start. Not a new relationship though. Get in a good Bible believing Church, Go back to school , take up a hobby, make new friends. Start sometime. DON"T DWELL on the past. Its not good
2006-10-10 05:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by achristianlady45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do u mean that you're guys love each other but can't be with together? then, you guys don't want either one of you seeing other plp? is that real love? isn't it u will feel happy when he finally found someone that might be his Mrs. right? it is too self-fish, if you don't want him to meet other plp...if u still feel unhappy with that...is just bcoz u jealous...is might bcoz u still love him or u jz don't get used to when you heard he seeing somebody else...maybe u feel like he is betray you...one of my friend having the same problem...but finally, she'll get through it...& nw she is a happy bcoz she meet her mr. right. I think time will cure...u jz got to let him go...unless u still love him.
2006-10-10 05:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by lepapillon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is the answer to everything. why do u wanna be apart if you still love each other. there is no other way to get over someone but "time" its gonna be very long. try not to think about it. all my sympathy is with you. i know how if feels
2006-10-10 06:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by sexy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could abort yourself. That's about as intelligent an answer as aborting a fetus "because of this ex".
2006-10-10 05:37:42 · answer #8 · answered by Chuck N Knutz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋