This is embarrassing so I wish for girls only to answer please. I have no one to ask.
My fiance and I decid to remain virgins until we marry two years. It is our religion. We are not supposed to be alone together but sometimes we do. He always ask me stimulate him with my hands and mouth and he touche me everywhere. I tried to stop him many times because of our vow, but he say it is not sex and it is all right to do. The first time he touch me, he push hard and there was little blood and pain. He say sorry but keep to do. How I tell him stop or is OK what he is doing?
2006-10-09 22:28:45 · 13 answers · asked by hoho 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he does not respect your wishes now, will he respect them later when you are married? This is not just about s**, it is about respect and love. Sure, you are both young, but if he is already pushing you in directions you don't like, you need to think very carefully about your future together. You should not go into this thinking you can change him later. It doesn't always work that way. You need to find an older woman you trust to talk to about this. Maybe a doctor or psychologist. Marriage is a huge step, one that can make or break the rest of your days.
I won't wish you luck because you need more than that.
2006-10-10 16:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anytime you are not comfortable with something that a man is doing, it is not OK. If you have decided to remain virgins until you are married, then you need to agree on what activities you engage in together. You should never be hurt...blood and pain are not normal. Maybe he is too rough? Please tell him that until he can respect your body (and your wishes about waiting until you're married)...he is not to touch you.
Also, to answer your question, it sounds like you are having "oral sex," which many people still consider sex. Whether or not it is OK is determined by you two...just make sure you actually discuss it. He should not be bullying you into doing things you are not ready to do. Good luck.
2006-10-10 05:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by WonderingWanderer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Little girl,
1-What you do for him with your mouth is " Oral Sex" it can be dangerous for you if he has STDs.Be sure about his health before unprotected sex.
2- The blood and pain after that hard push MAY means that your hymen is broken.Sorry but you are not a virgin if the hymen is broken.A gynecologist can tell you if you are virgin or not.
If you live in a country that is a custom to check the existence of the hymen by a doctor befor the marriage,I recomand you to do it now because now you can prove that your fiance did it but after 2 years . . .If you change your mond to marry him or he does n't want you anymore,then how can you prove that he was the one who did it.
Take care.
2006-10-10 05:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by Lili 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is only OK if you are comfortable with it, if it is something with which you are not then you need to tell him to stop before he even gets started. if this is a vow that you have undertaken together then he should respect that and not push you and ask you to do things that don't feel comfortable. it is all perfectly normal and you would maybe enjoy this if you did not feel so pressured. if he keeps insisting then maybe you need to take a better look at your relationship, it sounds to me that he will soon be pushing for full sex, are you ready for that?
2006-10-10 05:34:25 · answer #4 · answered by A G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's something you're uncomfortable with then you should tell him to stop and if he's a good fiance, he will understand. Communication is everything, be honest about your feelings and if he has any respect for you at all he'll follow your wishes.
2006-10-10 05:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Secrets are best for one... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know when sex start nothing can stop it ! so continue and be relax with that, enjoy complete sex, being virgin is not only saving Hymen! touch kiss and push is sex too
2006-10-10 05:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by marjan m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its completly fine, you gotta let him do, or he will move out. and he is not wrong for this. this is nature. Sex is natural- you cannot stop the wave of sea. its all in nature. you cannot force it. Its wrong dont ruien your family values and future just by your religion. That this was history- you can respect that but you should not perform that. My god, what he did- i respect that but i never try to do that cause that is kinda insult. You should feel proud of your culture but dont perform it. you will live much peacfully.
2006-10-10 05:33:44 · answer #7 · answered by Zenon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if you are not comfortable doing this ...STOP. it sounds like you are not comfortable. the blood and pain is ok for the first time but you guys should quit until you are ready for these things, if he loves you he will wait til marriage
2006-10-10 05:31:33 · answer #8 · answered by spunky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that little blood and pain is you being "broken in" it is not sex unless his penis enteres your vigina so i guess it is ok, however if you do not want him to do these things to you then you should seriously tell him to stop it and if you dont feel ok with pleasuring him you should not do that ither it is your choice.
good luck
2006-10-10 05:34:16 · answer #9 · answered by sensual 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you enjoy it, go ahead, it isnt sex. if not, tell him that if he respects you or your morals any at all to stop. that is desrespect, you guys should be able to be alone together w/o feeling pressured, definently since you are engaged.
2006-10-10 05:31:47 · answer #10 · answered by kissa7852 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋