Ok, lets just say you are in a relationship..one day sooner or later your partner is going to ask the question of how many other people you have slept with prior to them, What should you say to avoid arguements, loss of respect, jealousy etc.. should you lie, tell the truth or simply tell them it's not their business?? I'd like to go for the not their business option, but what if your partner wont let up and really feels like they need to know, (In my situation I am a bit older than my partner (5yrs) and he has been in two really long relationships previous to me and that is the only people he has been with (2), where as I am older and I have never been in a serious relationship till now, I don't want to tell him that I have been with over 10 guys, as it may make him feel in experienced or he may lose respect for me... What should I do he wont take not your business for an answer... what would you do?? have you ever been in this situation?? please share....
2006-10-09 21:42:45 · 18 answers · asked by channille 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well, you can lie or you can be honest.
i would be honest and wouldn't want to have to always "protect" my partner from the truth.
2006-10-09 21:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ah - the age old question.
I am 30 year old male and would have had well over 40 partners - but realise that that equates to only 2 - 3 partners a year since I was 18!
If you asked me - I would tell you around 10.
If I asked you, I would hate to hear more than 6 to 8 regardless of age. Unrealistic ,unless you have had long term partners, but - it's a guy thing!
In short - LIE!
2006-10-10 04:51:16 · answer #2 · answered by cpt braino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i have been in the same situation. Yes and no. the reason I said yes is that You dont want to keep secrets from your partner. The reason I said no if you was a **** and everybody in that town had a turn with you no I wouldnt tell him exactly how many. I am older then my boyfriend. He had ask me at first I was scared to tell him but eventually I did. He doesnt treat me any different then before I told him.
2006-10-10 04:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by meme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could go for the not their business option - try to not say it in these words, say you prefer not to discuss that, it's in the past. But I understand his will to know, and I would want to know. Not exactly, but I'd like to have a general idea and I 'd feel I have the right to. So maybe you could say "more than 5-less than 10" more or less. It sounds normal, you don't have to say exactly or say more than 10, because more than something could mean much more, say what it is less than and subtract a few if you want.
2006-10-10 04:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by cpinatsi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be completely honest with him. it may be hard for him to take, but so is finding out later that you lied about it. i told my wife the truth, it wasn't difficult, she is very understanding and knows that i had many relationships whereas she had only a few partners in her life. i couldn't even give her a real number. all i could honestly tell her was there were many and probably maybe more than 20.
2006-10-10 04:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by locowherto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,hmmm well i guess all i can say is if you think your bf is the kind of guy that will feel bad about how many guys you slept with before then just dont tell him!but whatever is it its not like you betrayed him or whatever just that whatever you did or with whoever or many guys you slept with before well its was waaaaaaay before meeting your new bf so i dont think that he should really blame you on your past life!You wont tell me that when your new boyfriend met you he was a virgin right?i guess no matter what you or he did before just doesnt count.just enjoy what you having now and be happy and remain faithful to each other thats it!
2006-10-10 04:56:56 · answer #6 · answered by Gilles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation actually. About a year after I got married...my husband decides he HAS to know about my sexual partners but does not see it necessary for me to know his. Therefore, he did not get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He got what I thought he wanted to hear. That is YOUR past.
2006-10-10 04:50:36 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Complicated 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its really not his business. if he persists and causes discomfort, your'e entitled to tell a fib, because people are people, living in the real world. not angels in heaven sitting around playing the harp all day. i would deem it an uneccessary and silly question more than anything else. if the love is there, thats what counts. the rest is just a bit of a bit of a blip on the landscape.--------yo'
2006-10-10 06:10:01 · answer #8 · answered by peanut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why that question should come up.
I was single for about 40 years & was in many relationships, many that my current wife knew about because we worked closely together for about 12 years. We have been married for about 5 years & she has never asked any question about my past relationships & i certainly don't ask about hers because that's in the past, and my past is definitely muddier than hers.
2006-10-10 04:51:28 · answer #9 · answered by skymastergolfpro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best answer is to tell him the truth
but if he's not ready for the answer, i don't think that this option is the best for your relationship.
2006-10-10 05:30:14 · answer #10 · answered by VinZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u lie, then he finds out!!! Cant imagine the outcome. Just tell the truth....
2006-10-10 05:14:39 · answer #11 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋