K this is weird and I kinda think it makes me sound pathetic......but I still feel like I am in love with my ex. And he did alot of crazy stuff to me, which is why he is my EX, and I know that I could never be in a good, happy, healthy relationship with him! But I still can't help but think about him and how I still love him. We broke up almost a year ago, and I'm dating and stuff, but it seems like I compare all these other guys to him. We had amazing chemistry (we still do) but I want to be able to move on and stop comparing other men to him! especially when I know deep down he isn't right for me! Why cant i just get over it? I've never had this problem b4....
2006-10-09 19:30:37 · 16 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and advice would b helpful
2006-10-09 19:31:50 · update #1
I think it's normal... and not only that... I think you are well on your way. You said a lot of sensible things in your question. You know that the relationship wasn't right for you, and you know why. You are still getting yourself out there and dating. You're doing really well.
One thing though... don't continue to tell yourself that these feelings make you sound pathetic. They don't. I think comparing guys to the last one we had loads of chemistry with, is just what we do and can't help sometimes. He won't be your yardstick forever. If you keep yourself mingling, someone will come along with whom the thought of making a comparison won't even enter your mind.
2006-10-09 19:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Secie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OOOOOOH GIRL...you may have never had this problem before but i sure have. It's that chemistry you were talking about girl..THAT DOWN RIGHT NITTY GRITTY GIMMIE GIMMIE ...
Yes, I had a man for a long time that did something to me I jst cant even put into words. He taught me alot. But that relationship that is rocky and still rocks you to the very fiber of your being...is always the one that is sssssssssssooooooo bad for you. This man was my everything..and then he started hurting me..doing the illest things. But I stood by him at first tryin to be the loyal one...but it didnt matter. But I just couldnt pull myself away from this man, im not going into detail about the type of stuff we had been through together, but the ups and downs were tremendous, like a roller coaster on mount everest.
And the sex...was like FIRE... the emotions were the same..but when it all came to a head and exploded...I had to leave..things were to volitile..
I didnt just leave..I packed up my stuff and left town completely, far far away. That was the only way I could keep myself from him, knowing he was bad for me. And everyday after I left, I wanted to go back..but I didnt. I compared every man to him, didnt give anybody a chance at first. Im talking a year now, thinking about him everyday, comparing everyman to him, wondering if i should go back. The slowly, I started becoming the most importsant thing again. Not over night but slowly. I started thinking about him a few times a day instead of all day. then mybe once a day, them maybe every other day. But my life started taking other turns and he became less important. Other people were starting to graqb my attention. soon enough he was always in the back of my mind but not enough to drive me stir crazy. Here it is now almost six years later, and honestly every now and then, I thing about him, wonder what he is doing, if hes alright and then its gone. It doesnt hurt anymore, it even makes me smile alittle. Life is a learning experience. Some lessons are harder than others. But you know what..you grow from it all.
I know alot more now because of that relationship, have since gotten married and had a baby and am feeling good about how i handle my relationships.
TIME IS WHAT IT WILL TAKE. IF YOU DONT GIVE INTO THE THE TEMPTATION...TIME WILL BE ON YOUR SIDE. JUST GIVE IT TIME..WHATEVER IT TAKES.
YOULL BE ALRIGHT ..TRUST ME..I REALLY REALLY DO KNOW!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-10 02:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by RAW29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must looking for the best partner for - but every one is different.
But the most what you can enjoy and feel good decide to make the choice. You never ever again find someone like the ex one, but you can find somebody with different chemistry - just stop compering , take what you see and feel in that moment with somebody. Accept reality. I have beautiful memory and I know I never can have somebody like the from the past with anybody.
Life is like a book go forward the and. If you finish you start another book.
2006-10-10 02:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is totally normal. This guy must have been your first love. It is really hard to get over your first love. If you really want to be with him again, maybe you should try working things out. Have a talk with him regarding what he needs to do differently or how he can change for the better. Then perhaps, you both can give it one more shot.
You need to be confident in him that he'll change his behaviors while with you. It's also important that he needs to be confident in himself as well. If any of you have doubts, I suggest not getting back together.
Some questions to ask yourself: How is he now? Is he dating other women? What kind of stories have you heard about his current relationships? Has he changed?
2006-10-10 02:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by mjangel28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone that was in the same situation has feelings for their ex and it's normal because you made them family in a sense. It's time to let him move onwards and for yourself you move onwards to. You might want to have another relationship but remember no one can be the same person like your ex if you try and find someone similar that someone might also have that same fault in him that you left your first husband for.
Just look for someone totally different than before just to be on the safe side. You don't want to repeat the same mistake twice.
2006-10-10 02:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by LVieau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to start accepting that everybody has some goodness in them - Ex's included, and this primarily includes YOU
As they say love thy neighbor as yourself -not more than you OK?
just don't let your chemistry for the Ex color your choice of your mate - a clean cut and a fresh start
2006-10-10 02:54:32 · answer #6 · answered by joey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably never really get over him, but time will enable you to move on. It will not be easy, because you are still in love with him, but the heart is amazing that it allows us to love someone else, while still caring for our ex mate.
2006-10-10 02:45:04 · answer #7 · answered by RY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, you're normal. I still love my ex and always will. I just can't be in a relationship with him. Some things are meant to be and some aren't!!! You'll be right!
2006-10-10 02:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by Seahorse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal I don't think u ever fully get over your first love but it gets easier especially when you finally do fall for someone else. I know from expirence
2006-10-10 02:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by teiamaria115 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is try not talking to him for a while that might work to help get over him and try talking to friends and family about it or a consuler they might be able to help you sort out your issues with him
2006-10-10 02:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by lovelyaquariusfairy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋