so i had sex with a guy when i was younger, like two times,... i started going out with a guy and told him i was a virgin when he asked me, just cause we barely knew each other and i didn't want him to think otherwise.. but now weve been together for 2 years and were getting married soon.. he has asked me several times if i was really a virgin before him and i kept on saying yes. Should I tell him the truth? or Do guys prefer virgins, is it more special to them knowing that i was untouched before him?
2006-10-09 18:40:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i also don't want him to feel bad and lose my trust... i can actually live with the lie but sometimes i get jealous about all the girls he's been with and i kind of want him to feel the same way... is it stupid to think this?
2006-10-09 18:41:54 · update #1
girl i would let it pass go head and let him feel special cause men dont want to hear o iv had someone else before you..... there is no need to compete or try to make him feel bad cause it gets to you that hes had many girl, hes a man that what they do not you telling him this could make you look bad in his eyes.
PS if you want to tell him just to get it off your chest then do so not cause he had many girls
2006-10-09 19:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by ineedya_00 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jasmine, just tell him the truth. Maybe you were a little ashamed to tell him that you were not a virgin cause you didn't know him that well. Just tell him that you wish you were when he asked you for the first time and that once you had lied, you couldn't dare tell him otherwise. Most guys do not really care if you are a virgin or not. If he truly loves you, it shouldn't matter.
2006-10-10 01:56:20 · answer #2 · answered by SheDevil 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you had a good reason on why you did not reveal that your a virgin no more-when yuo first met him. but now that you both are getting married, i think he deserves to know. anything can happen.he might back off, he might all off the wedding, he might hate you..or he might even console you. i know it hurts you. that some one else, had taken it away when your man should have it. virginity is a sensitive issue when it comes to women. i'm not sure, if guys like virgins. but i an tell you that not all guys are bothered about themselves being a virgin! its unfair that, it doesnt matter when boys losy their virginity easily, and its a crime when girls does that too?? but sex is not everything in a relationship.just a minor part of life.you can life a lie.but for how long.eventually truth would be revealed.its better for you to tell it off rather than he hears it from someone else.
2006-10-10 01:50:53 · answer #3 · answered by chandni 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be honest with him the worst thing you want to do is start your marriage with a lie under your belt, it may make it a little hard for him to trust you but after a little while it should pass, plus it should not matter to him wether you were a virgin or not, if he loves you and wants to marry you than he will not matter what. Also u should encourage him to be honest with you . . . the best time to make sure everyone is being truthful is before you get married not after.
2006-10-10 01:44:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. that is areally bad thing to lie about. u can do one of two things. i would prefer that my gf/fiance/wife were to tell me the truth about everything. but at this point u telling the truth could potentially ruin ur relationship. (i.e. if you lied about that what makes him think that u didnt or wont lie about sumthign else?) i mean. honesty is always the best policy, and u cnat have a loving trusting relationship without honesty. i would say explain to him the reason y u lied tohim and tell him that u were just scared of losing him after u had already lied. i dont really know what else to tell u though. sorry.
2006-10-10 01:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by some evil guy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing to be gained from telling him the truth, you don't say how old you both are now but my guess would be he will be as jealous as hell and it will cause all kinds of arguments and this little fib will be thrown in your face for a very long time. At the moment he feels very proud that he was your first, don't risk your relationship over this just keep the fib to yourself and us.. and we wont tell.
2006-10-10 01:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by Paul 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him the truth the next time he askes you. Honesty is always a way to go especially if you two are getting married.
2006-10-10 01:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by cascade_waterfall04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is no virgin, then it should not matter to him. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. He may be concerned that you experience is only limited to him and one day you my want to try something new just to see if there was any difference. The best thing is to be honest. Tell him you were a born again virgin.
2006-10-10 02:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by Mr Cellophane 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is this what he is basing his love to you on.. you being a virgin, if so and you tell him, if he breaks up with you, then the relationship was never founded on love. If you do not tell him and later he finds out,will he divorce you ? Tell him now if that is what he harps on alot and see the reaction... if so at least you wont have to waste the time being married and then divorced , and not have any kids involved with the divorce..
2006-10-10 01:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should explain as you have here, why you felt you had to mislead him and how it is praying on your mind "now that you realise he wouldnt be so shallow as to think less of you". I say get it out there, and off your conscience... he has a right to be angry for being lied to, but if he cant get past the idea he wasnt your first, then darlin, you can do better...
2006-10-10 01:59:52 · answer #10 · answered by SomeNZchick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋