ever since i was about 9, i've been always finding things like Playboy magazines and calendars that have signatures on them from places like Hooter's, and on his computer there's a history of downloading teen porn and all sorts of disgusting internet stuff.
When i was 10, i found a series of photos of him posing with nude busty women and it scared me.ever since, i don't think of him as my "daddy", i think of him as some perverted man who just happens to live with me. it's not just the porn, it's the way he kisses me really hard on the cheek, and instead of saying "honey" or something cute like that he says "hey baby" in this weird way, and it's just the way he is with me.i'm his 13-year old DAUGHTER.he doesn't really spend time with me or tell me any stories or anything, and when i'm alone at home with him, it's so dead..he just locks the door and does who the hell knows what in his office.i don't know what to think.i know that everyone says that it's just normal, but it's my FATHER.
2006-10-09 18:34:40 · 18 answers · asked by Jo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
TELL ANOTHER ADULT IN YOUR FAMILY i.e. your MOTHER AUNT OR SISTER (if you have one)
Talk to a school counselor...theyre there for more than just school issues.
2006-10-09 18:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
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2016-07-17 16:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by Cathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok if your just, "finding things" laying around then he isn't locking everything up. And if you looked up his history on his computer and found out he is downloading teen porn, he can deny that easily. Because you are on his computer, right. And, what does, "teen" mean. 13, 14, what, 18,19? Because if he is downloading underage kids then its illegal and he could be charged with possessing child porn. There are a few things going on in your message. You don't like what he is doing and yet you are looking on his computer? Dont' you have your own, most kids do nowadays. If you don't like what he is doing then stay out of his stuff. If your Dad said something like, "Hey baby girl or something like that I could understand,,but your making it sound like,,"Hey Baby!" If your not feeling comfortable then you do need to talk to your Mother. I mean if he is leaving Playboys around for all to see then your Mother surely sees it too. So talk to your Mother about it.
2006-10-09 19:27:17 · answer #3 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal, although creepy to most children, for parents, particularly men, to buy pornography. Lots of guys make home videos or take pictures of themselves/their partners, too, and that's not out of the rehlm of normal, either. Don't worry about what he does in his home office without you-- you're probably better off not knowing, any how. That said, the teen porn thing is not normal and if they are really minors is in fact highly illegal for him to possess, take or even view. If the way he kiss/touches/talks to you makes you uncomfortable, you should tell him so, and if he continues or it gets worse, then you should tell another adult who you trust, like your mother or a school counselor.
2006-10-09 18:45:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some things you mention may be normal for many men. Nobody wants think that their parents do anything sexual. It's enough to make anybody queasy. So if you just don't want to know about his sex life, tell him and your mom that you don't want to see the pornography. If he does what you ask, give him a break and let him be your dad. But some of the things you said do send up red flags.
Downloading porn of teens under 18 is illegal, wrong, and very creepy. Also, the fact that you've been able to find the pornography and find it so often are disturbing. If you haven't been snooping for it, then he is being too careless at best. If he has been leaving it for you to find on purpose, that is wrong and you need to tell your mom or someone you trust. Pornography is harmful and illegal for young people and shouldn't be viewed until they are legally and mentally able to handle it.
The right education about sex does not include pornography or touching, it is about medical information, being responsible, and helping you emotionally handle the changes that come with growing up. I once had someone try to "educate" me by showing me porn, touching me, and having me touch him. I was about your age, and it was very traumatic for me. Don't let your dad or anyone do anything like that to you, report it if they even try. Don't keep it a secret, I made that mistake to protect my parents from the hurt of not being able to protect me. But my parents would have wanted to know so that they COULD protect me. It wasn't my job to protect them.
The way your dad kisses you sounds weird, but it's hard to tell if it's inappropriate. It may be just showing love, even if it is embarrassing (parents tend to see their kids as still being little children). Or it could be for creepy motives. It depends on how he hugs you, kisses you, looks at you, or talks to you. If it bothers you, ask him to stop, and if it even seems like he's sexually interested in you, report it.
Even if your dad is not a perverted man, he sounds like he's not as attentive toward you as he should be, spending quality time with you so he can get to know you and help you grow up to be a happy, healthy, and responsible adult. He should let you know how important you are and be there for you to confide in. He should have a trusting relationship with you so he can protect you from bad influences and guys who might want to use you. I hope he learns how to be a there for you. Maybe your mom or a family member can encourage him to improve his behavior as a parent. You deserve love and respect.from your dad.
2006-10-09 21:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by Ashana 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I'd say have a talk with your mother about it making you uncomfortable. But there are far worse vices a father could have than viewing some porn.
2006-10-12 05:22:26 · answer #6 · answered by midwestbruin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise to you is maybe talking to your mother about how you feel about him leaving porn out for you to see. Maybe she can make him aware that you know what he's doing which might make him change. You never know. You can hint to him that you don't like him leaving porn out in the house. It just depends on how close you are to him and what type of person he is. You can say something like "Please Dad, could you not leave this out for everyone to see" or "Dad you're disgusting", or "Dad please stop wasting your money on that junk". Like I said, it just depends how comfortable you are talking to him. Or you can pretend you never saw anything and try to wipe it out of your mind. As long as he's not abusing you, maybe just leave at that. Nothing is going to change him unless he truly cares about your feelings and finally "wakes up". But still speaking your mind wouldn't hurt unless he's the abusive type. Just stay strong and everything will be fine. Sorry you had to learn something like that about your father.
2006-10-09 19:50:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were you doing snooping around his personal belongings?
Your dad's a man afterall, with needs like a regular guy.
So long as he keeps his hands off you and not suggest anything bad to you, leave him alone and respect his privacy.
Perhaps you'll better understand this when you're a little older. At least, he has the decency to lock up when he's doing whatever he's doing. That's he's way of protecting you.
2006-10-09 18:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by Nemrac666 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
i know this disturbs you but you know what?...hes allowed to do that after all its his house...and as long as he doesnt do it in front of you then ...it shouldnt matter ....if you are that uncomfortable talk to him about it and if that doesnt work tell someone else..a person you trust ...an adult that can find some help for you...in the future stay away out of his stuff and stay in your room or leave the house for a while ...go where you are safe...
2006-10-09 19:45:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jo
My sympathies... but ya I guess it's kinda wierd to have a dad who does porn. Anyways why don't you focus on playing games like cards or boardgames with him? Or get him to help with school projects?
Hopefully it'll help develop your father-daughter relationship in a more healthy way.
He's probably not going cold turkey on porno, so just dun look, dun see and try to be blind to this.
2006-10-09 18:53:10 · answer #10 · answered by Hang Tough 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's sad, if it's possible try talking to your mom about it. Your father is just another person with his own faults so accept that, but doesn't mean he shouldn't try to be better for you.
2006-10-09 18:38:40 · answer #11 · answered by tg440766 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋