should I tell her or talk to my dad or what?
2006-10-09 18:23:30 · 25 answers · asked by johntjone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to your dad first. Give him the chance to come clean. Then if he doesn't and you think it's hurting your mom, you probably should tell her. She deserves to know.
2006-10-09 18:26:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy. But this is a hard one for you to handle knowing this, and to do nothing about it, it will end up eating you up inside. I would have your Dad sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. See if it is really true or not. Then tell him he has a couple options. Stop cheating on your Mom, and get help or if he finds that he can't stop, then he needs to leave. That isn't right that he does that to you, and your Mother. Just be honest about how you feel. Because, this is no longer about him and his affair/affairs, it's about you and your Mom.
2006-10-10 01:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I knew my dad was cheating and I was troubled for a long time, I just could not tell her, she seemed so happy. Then years past and he started a new affair and my mom found out, she moved out right away. She said , Good, now someone else can put up with his bullshit. I will always regret that I did not tell her right away, when she was younger, But she is with a wonderfull man now, and traveling and she is truly happy And my dad got a kink in his you know what, and his new girl left him, I say TELL your mom.
2006-10-10 01:38:25 · answer #3 · answered by spuds_suds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with kandie, talk to your Dad...I think he is being less of a Dad to you as well....your family , the other women isn't and his love should not be mis-guided by such an affair...let him know he needs to end it or tell Mom...be prepared for a separation or possibly divorce....but at least the truth will be known and deception within the family out in the open..good luck...sorry this has happened to you and your family.
2006-10-10 01:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell. Do you respect your mother? Is she 3? She has the right to know important things to her life.
Think of the guilt when she asks you why you didn't tell her? She will find out. Maybe she knows and is in denial.
I had the same situation. I told. I am happy I did. It didn't actually change anything in their relationship but it made it clear to my mom that I respected her as a person.
Did you ask your dad why? This can manifest for you. You should try to clear the air and understand the issues for your peace of mind.
2006-10-10 01:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom must know. this is heart wrenching. i am sorry. the way you posed this information, even though, it's in a p.c.,i don't get much hurt on your behalf. maybe I'm completely wrong.
i say your mom must have an idea, if it's truly been a five year fling. in that time, your dad may have pro created, even have caught s.t.d's. not fair too anyone, least yourself. do you tell your mom or not, it all depends on how well you two get along and how telling her will affect her. this is critical. not like a friend, cheating on their girlfriend or boyfriend. you might need to tell an aunt or uncle, someone that you trust, on behalf of the entire family. you are in a great bind and i will pray that you somehow can be led to do what will be the best overall decision with this horrible position you are in. I'm sorry...
God bless us all...
2006-10-10 01:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by lee f 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a talk with your dad first. If it happens to be true. Tell him he needs to tell her or you will tell her yourself. It's only right that she knows. He is doing her wrong and especially for that many years. He owes her that much to tell her the truth. Your mom is going to need all the support she can get from you. Her heart is going to be broken once she finds out. But she does need to know whats going on. He betrayed her!
Best of luck to you and her!
2006-10-10 01:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you Dad that either he tell your Mother or you will. You can not sit back and see your Mother being treated like that, but it will be much better if she hears it from your Father. Their cheating is just a symptom that there are other problems in their marriage. Support them both, but remember that this is their problem, not yours. I hope they work out their problems for their sake and for the sake of your family. Take care of you, things will work out in time.
2006-10-10 01:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell your dad that you know about the other woman, he will know exactly what to do next. You won't have to tell your mother anything. I'm sorry that you'll have to go through what comes after this. Just hang in there and stay neutral. We're all human and we make BIG serious mistakes sometimes. Try to be there for your mother. It will make it much worse for her if she sees that your being affected by it also. Sometimes our parents need from us as much as we need from them.
2006-10-10 01:34:31 · answer #9 · answered by SheDevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your dad first. If she doesn't know yet, it's because she doesn't want to know. But if he's putting her at risk by cheating while he is still sexually active with her, she should be made aware. I know you don't want to know if your parents have sex or not but this could be your mom's life and that's more important.
2006-10-10 01:29:38 · answer #10 · answered by Kuji 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋