its gotten me so depressed, they both want me, and i love them both for different reasons
a) dated for 4.5 years. he cheated on me for 6 months of it. hes very organized, uptight, does his best to make me happy. always surprising me with gifts and dinners. im comfortable with him.
b) dated for a few months, faithful to me, more of a "bad" boy although he stopped drinkng and smoking just for me. he has my best interests at heart and i trust him to never hurt me. we have different religious beliefs though, different races, and different cultures. with marriage and kids right around the corner, i dont know..
2006-10-09 18:05:54 · 9 answers · asked by Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Different religious beliefs though they matter not at this point will have major impact down the road, same with different culture. People tend not to stop things for another person. Now to say or do what needs to be done to keep them well yeah or a deception. Didn't know my boyfriend smoked for a good year or more. Explained why he was sweating a lot though.
Once a cheat however, always a cheat. Especially if you've forgiven it once. It will happen again, maybe soon, maybe two years down the road and your trust for him will never be the same as it should not be. He cheated for 6 months of it. Drop this one first. He does not respect or truly love you or would not have chanced it. Guys have a way of playing mind games. Don't be fooled.
I'd give the second guy the chance but weary be weary of how people change as they are truly usually one way, may change for awhile and regress.
You need someone with more beliefs, and background similar to yours own long term.
if your looking at years invested with the first boyfriend, you don't want it to be 10 years and him cheating on you again.
2006-10-09 18:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you should follow your own HEAD (not heart) on this one, but if you want advice about what others would do (and obviously you do or you wouldn't have asked) I would definitely go with A. He may have cheated on you, but hey-- Pobody's Nerfect you know! And he does love you (IE tries to make me happy.) He is organized/uptight which can be a pain but will also mean motivation for you and your future family. He knows how to get things done and can likely achieve things and make a home and a financial nest egg for the two of you and any kids to come. His love language seems to be gifts and I think yours is too or you would not mention that he buys these things for you. So that looks like a good match. (Read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman before you make your decision. It is so important!) Your being comfortable with A is a BIG PLUS!
And the other reasons I would choose A is because of a few negatives with B:
Being faithful for a few months is not a big accomplishment (and you may find out later that you were optimistic on this one anyway.)
"Bad boys" are not where it's at!!!!!!
Many "bad boys" return to the drinking and smoking when they think they "have you".
And different religious beliefs can destroy even the toughest marriages, especially after kids come along.
I don't believe in different races. We are all one race-- the human race, so that is not an issue one way or the other.
Different cultures is actually a plus, but the negs out weight the positives for this guy.
Yep, I would go with A.
For sure.
2006-10-10 01:20:56 · answer #2 · answered by DidoDeeDee 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh, the second guy that you have dated for a few months. The first guy seems nice, but if the second guy seems like he is really there for you and isn't cheating on you. I would suggest you go with the "bad" boy. Good luck and think about what you really want.
2006-10-10 01:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by Drew 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you have to do is pick the one that will make you truly happy.The man that will keep you in ecstasy and complete true love and passion.Allot of times the fire burns out if you are just comfortable with someone.He has already cheated.
2006-10-10 01:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by lovely soul with insite 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would give guy B a try.
If you dated guy A for 4.5 years and there were not talk of marriage or serious commitment then you are just not meant to be with him.
2006-10-10 01:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by Travel_Fan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I were you, I would go with guy b) the one that hasn't cheated on you. As for guy a) once a cheat, always a cheat.
2006-10-10 01:09:47 · answer #6 · answered by Ash Anne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither, its clear that your need to re analyze yourself before moving onto a unclear decision.
Find out what YOU want before trying to find out what you want from others, it will lead to more problems in the future.
2006-10-10 01:07:58 · answer #7 · answered by Chris H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
b for sure there is no doubt about it you can not stay with somebody that cheated on you for 6 monthes that is crazy.
2006-10-10 01:09:55 · answer #8 · answered by Hilary D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B.) why? because A.) cheated on you. savvy?
2006-10-10 01:07:55 · answer #9 · answered by JO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋